Their Halcyon Days
by Chiera
Summary: Before they gave birth to a legend, they were just students, trying to hold on to hope as the war threatened to tear their world apart.
1. Prologue

**Summary:** Before they gave birth to a legend, they were just students, trying to hold on to hope as the war threatened to tear their world apart.

**Rating:** M

**Universe:** Canon

**Genre:** Drama, Humour, Romance

**Diclaimer: **_Harry Potter_ and its characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I am but a fan, writing for other fans, for absolutely no profit.

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><p>A huge thank you to my betas, gryffindormischief and Maz, for their help and hard work!<p>

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><p><strong>Chie: <strong>The spark for this story was born around December 2013, when a few months in to my stay in England, I was struck with the sudden urge to re-read the Harry Potter series. However, my copies of the books were safe in my bookcase back home, thousands of miles away, so instead I turned to fanfiction. Specifically, JamesxLily fics.

And pretty much from that point on it was a slippery slope: the more stories I read, the more I started to think how _I_ would do it.

Before I knew it I was up to my ears in background research, wanting to pour my headcanons on the paper even though any and all plot bunnies were blatantly absent.

And then one night when I was trying to sleep, the opening sentence popped into my head. More sentences followed.

So here we are.

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><p><em>What if you would know that it all ends tonight?<em>

_And what if you would know that you can't win this fight?_

_Would you have regrets, someone to miss_

_Or friends to say goodbye?_

_Or would you tell the one you love_

_It was the best time of your life_

**The Giant Leap:** The Best Time Of Your Life

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><p><span><strong>Their Halcyon Days<strong>

_Prologue_

Sitting in the corner of the sofa, resting her chin on her knees, Lily Evans was failing miserably in the fight against boredom. She kept staring at the TV screen, not really even seeing the picture in front of her.

The front door opened and closed, and without turning, Lily called a "Welcome home" to her mother, trying in vain to make her dejected voice sound cheerful.

But instead of her mother's warm voice, there was a loud sniff behind her back. Lily bit back a groan, her already abysmal mood instantly turning sour.

"Brooding on your own again, I see," her sister said in a disapproving tone.

"Nice to see you too, Petunia," Lily replied, still keeping her eyes on the TV screen.

"It's like every time I see you, you're just moping around the house," Petunia continued, ignoring her response.

"Well sorry to bother you," Lily said lamely, getting up from the sofa. "I'll just go to mope in my room, then."

Turning around, she saw the thin line Petunia's lips were making. There was an odd look in her sister's eyes as she regarded her, quite unlike the typical disgust or thinly-veiled jealousy.

"I'm surprised you're not off running around with that Snape boy like you usually are every summer," Petunia remarked.

At the mention of the name, Lily's stomach instantly plummeted all the way down to her knees.

"What's the matter?" her sister continued snidely. "You two finally broke up?"

A thousand responses sprang to Lily's mind then, ranging from snarky retorts to vehement insistence how she and Severus hadn't been dating.

But in the end, she could not summon the strength. She knew that while picking a fight with her sister might grant her a moment of reprieve, she would only feel worse after the anger would leave her.

So she simply forced out a small, broken "Yeah," and then hurriedly pushed past her sister, sprinting upstairs to the safety of her room.

If she had not been so caught up in the turmoil of her emotions, of the hurt, of the still fresh loss of her best friend, of trying to hold back the burning tears, she might have noticed that Petunia hadn't really taunted or sneered at her and how unusual it was for her to initiate a conversation with her to begin with. But Lily remained oblivious to this rare show of sisterly concern. Climbing into her bed and curling up, she missed the soft tap of footsteps on the carpet right behind her door, where someone paced nervously for a moment before finally giving up and turning away.

She hugged a pillow close, finally letting out the tears she had been holding in for weeks.

Lily Evans was having the most miserable summer of her life. Under usual circumstances, she could barely wait for the autumn to come, for the first of September when she would finally board the Hogwarts Express and start a new year at school. But even though she was having a terrible summer break, she was not particularly looking forward to its end.

In fact, for the first time in her academic career, she was feeling apprehensive about returning to Hogwarts. Last year had been an absolute disaster. The tensions had been running high all year long, what with the stress of the O.W.L.s, with James Potter – the arrogant bullying git – suddenly deciding he fancied her, being a complete arse every time she as much as walked past him. And then there had been the ever-growing strain eating on her and Severus' friendship, as it was slowly becoming more and more apparent that their chosen paths had irreparably diverged.

All three of these factors had finally culminated in an utter catastrophe at the end of the school year – in the middle of the exam season, with the stress levels running high, James Potter had chosen to be an utter toerag and bully Severus out of sheer boredom. Lily of course had intervened, but things had only gone downhill from there. Potter had tried to blackmail her to go out on a date with him, and she had let her temper get the best of her, telling him exactly what she thought of him and publicly announcing her preference to the Giant Squid. Severus had been furious and had not appreciated her help at all – in fact; he had hurled a deadly insult in her face. After that, this time in private, she had argued with him, too, telling Severus that their friendship had taken the final blow it could suffer.

And there was really the gist of it all, therein lay the reason why she had stayed indoors most of the summer. Though staying put made her feel confined and bored out of her mind, she had not dared to venture outside and risk bumping into Snape. They had been friends for seven long years until Lily had ended it four odd weeks ago. It really had been the only choice. She had run out of excuses for Severus. She had had enough. She had known for a while that they were growing apart, but the time had come to actually admit that it was too late, that their chosen paths lead to opposite directions.

But even though she knew she had only done what she had to, it still hurt.

Lily glanced at her desk, nearly hidden underneath a heap of books, quills, letters and rolls of parchment. So many times, she had wanted to ease her pain by telling her friend how miserable she was feeling about it all. A few times, she had even started a letter. She could never get the words out, though, because she knew none of her friends would understand. Not even the kind and sweet Mary MacDonald, not after having almost been hexed last year for fun by Mulciber, that vile friend of Snape's.

So when she had finally written a letter to Mary, Lily had chosen to stick to more neutral topics than Severus Snape. She had complained about Petunia and how bored things were at home, and then she had talked about her O.W.L. scores.

Lily had done well enough, though she was a bit disappointed with her E in Defence Against the Dark Arts. She knew she could have done better; she had not really performed up to her usual par in the practical examination in the afternoon as she had still been upset by the lakeside fiasco that had taken place before lunch. Still, despite her disappointment, she couldn't really complain. After all, 'E' had been the lowest score she had got, and she only had two of them. Her other friends, Gwen Douglas and Marlene McKinnon, had already sent her letters to poke fun out of her multitude of 'O's. Just yesterday, a letter had arrived from Marlene, stating that she wasn't at all surprised that "Miss Prefect – I mean Perfect – Evans gets equally Perfect grades". Lily had no trouble picturing the short blonde witch snorting and rolling her eyes. Gwen had dryly reminded her that since it was summer break, she should take a leave from over-achieving and give her brain some rest.

Lily welcomed the teasing, after all it was one of the ways they showed affection. Where Lily was mocked about her studious habits, they were always laughing at Gwen for how crazy she got about Quidditch, at Marlene for her laziness and always making a mess of their dormitory, at Mary for being a doting mother hen.

Still, writing to her friends and reading their letters could only stay the sheer, mind-numbing boredom for so long. Being trapped in the house meant there the things she could do were fairly limited – and Lily had already finished her homework for the summer and re-read through her entire bookcase. It didn't help much either that she was mostly home alone. Her father was at work. Her mother was at home, but she spent half her time in the garden and the other half busy with housework; and it felt like every other day she would visit a friend or have a club meeting or something other of the sort. Petunia was hardly ever at home. She had found a summer job and any spare time she had was spent with her friends. The latter didn't bother her so much, however; Lily was secretly grateful for not having her big sister around. The two of them did not exactly get along – which was putting it mildly.

Lily sighed and rolled over in her bed, staring at the white ceiling. She hugged the pillow closer. All of a sudden, she ached for the summers of her childhood, when she and Petunia had been inseparable. The faraway days had been filled with laughter and warm sunshine, rolling on the green grass and catching butterflies, exploring the neighbourhood and playing in the nearby park. They had been so close, then. Now, if Petunia acknowledged her at all it would be just cold glares and loud, disapproving sniffs sent to her direction. It broke her heart that she had lost her sister, partially because of her best friend. Now her best friend was lost to her as well, and Petunia still hated her.

For a fleeting second, Lily was tempted to get up from the bed, sit down at her desk, and write a letter to Mary asking if she could come over to stay with her.

But she didn't. She already spent most of her years away at school with her friends. Summers were when she was able to spend time with her family. She could talk with her mother and help her around in the garden; she could play cards with dad and watch the silly detective shows together with him. She could be polite and civil to Petunia when the whole family gathered for dinner. She loved her family, she wanted to spend with them the little time she could. And really, in the end, the reason why she was feeling so gloomy and miserable had nothing to do with her family and everything to do with Severus Snape.

Lily drew a trembling breath and angrily brought her hands up, wiping away her drying tears. She was done, she swore to herself. No longer would she shed tears over Snivellus, these would be the very last ones she would spare for the memory of their broken friendship.

Her resolve finally found, Lily pushed herself off her bed and walked over to her desk. She dragged a spare bit of parchment closer, dipped her quill into the small bottle of ink, and started to answer the pile of letters from her friends.


	2. Chapter 1 - A New Start

_Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

_Oh, take me back to the start._

**- Coldplay:** The Scientist

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><p><span>Chapter One – A New Start<span>

Their sixth year at Hogwarts started on an overcast Wednesday, first of September 1976. The air carried with it a slight promise of rain, as witches and wizards congregated in London to see off their children. People were usually complaining how it always rained in Britain, yet this summer they had had record droughts of the century, a sweltering heatwave that had seemed to stretch out forever, so rain would be a welcome sight.

At the Platform 9¾ of the King's Cross Station, the scarlet engine gleamed as the train sat placidly amidst the restless crowd. People were huddled in small groups, some of them chatting cheerily, oblivious and excited. Others were fidgeting uneasily, casting furtive glances around or ushering their children straight on board of the train. Many of the adults – and some of the older students – were wearing expressions ranging from grim to harried and worried. Several of them seemed to have a habit of keeping their arm tightly by their side, as if ready to pull out their wand any second.

One of such small groups consisted of Mr and Mrs Potter, who stood near the entrance, bidding goodbye to their son and his best friend.

James Potter was not paying much attention to whatever his parents were talking about, however. He was preoccupied, casting furtive glances towards a mother and daughter who had just passed them by. His eyes specifically sought out the daughter of the pair, a slim girl with dark red hair.

Even though he could only see her back, James decided that Lily Evans was looking even more radiant than the last he had seen her.

He watched her greet her friend McKinnon, bid goodbye to her mother and then start for the train with her trunk in tow. Then, for a fleeting second, Evans turned and looked straight at him.

The second his and Lily's eyes met, Sirius nudged him rather unkindly and James once again focused on his parents, offering them a lopsided grin.

"Off you go then," Mr Potter told them, with a small smile.

"Thanks a million for letting me stay over, Mr and Mrs P! See you at Christmas!"

"We're happy to have you stay with us," Mrs Potter said kindly, hugging Sirius.

"Bye," James muttered as his mother squeezed him in turn.

"Try to stay out of trouble," Mr Potter said, with a knowing look.

James shrugged and Sirius laughed heartily. The two boys waved one last time and started to head for the train. The trunks clunked along after them.

"So, still mooning after Evans?" Sirius asked teasingly.

"Shut it, Padfoot," James grumbled, ignoring his best mate's mirth at his expense.

It was a great source of fun for Sirius that James had had the ill luck of setting his sights on the one girl in the entire school who was not impressed by him but rather found him to be an arrogant toerag. Sirius – and his other friends, too – seemed to be endlessly amused by James' hopeless, failing attempts of wooing Lily Evans.

It hadn't been love at first sight. He didn't think that now, five years later, it still was love, exactly… But the fact was that James had always taken notice of Evans' existence – her red hair was easy to spot even in a crowd, she excelled in most of their classes and was well-liked by all the girls, as well as more than a few boys, in their year. Lily Evans was pretty, popular and a brilliant witch, all in all, the kind of a girl everyone noticed.

James, however, had always particularly enjoyed the way her bright green eyes would spark in anger as well as the sound of her laughter, so he had made a habit of pulling pranks in her presence – and especially during their first few years at Hogwarts, the pranks were often pulled on her.

But at the start of last year, he had begun to notice her in a different way: a way that filled his stomach with nervous flutter. Evans had changed over the summer; she had grown taller and it didn't escape James' curious eyes that she had grown in certain other areas as well. He had been glancing at her throughout the Welcoming feast, and afterwards, when they were leaving the Great Hall, he had been captivated by the swishing of Evans' hips as she hurried to gather the first years around her and Remus.

Fairly soon after that, James had realised that while before he might have had a bit of a crush on Lily Evans (in their fourth year, he had convinced Sirius that they should hex Bertram Aubrey after Aubrey had had the gall to take Lily to Hogsmeade) this time it was something entirely different. It had taken a little more time, though, until he fully acknowledged his feelings. But finally, he had to admit that all the signs, such as spending many sleepless nights thinking of Lily Evans, the continuous nervous somersaults his stomach seemed to perform solely in her presence, the inability to steer his eyes away from her and the frustrating habit of his gaze fixating on certain parts of her anatomy, made it rather clear that he, James Potter fancied the hell out of Lily Evans. After he had accepted the fact, he embraced his feelings and wasted no more time dwelling on them. He commenced to ask Lily out every chance he got, but to his chagrin, she would always decline with increasing levels of annoyance. Of course, he would still ask her out the next time – even if she turned him down, he could still have the chance to see that angry spark in her bright green eyes, the twist of her pink lips, the sway of her hips as she purposefully stomped away from him. Still, the fact remained that the girl he fancied remained unperturbed by his charm. And so Sirius continued to laugh at him.

James scowled irritably as they entered a train compartment occupied by their fellow Marauders, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, as well as two seventh year Gryffindor boys.

"Hi James, Sirius!" Peter greeted them, grinning excitedly.

"What's got you in a bad mood so soon?" Remus asked, taking in James' glum expression.

"Not what, who," Sirius laughed, plopping down next to Peter.

"Snape?" Peter guessed.

"Nah," Sirius replied. "Evans."

"Oh no. What did you do?" Remus asked.

"Nothing!" James insisted, taking the seat next to Remus. "And it's him that got me annoyed," he continued, jabbing a finger at Sirius who was sitting across from him.

Remus fixed Sirius a look, but Sirius simply shrugged, his long hair brushing the side of his neck.

Sensing the potential argument brewing, the seventh year Gryffindor prefect Benjy Fenwick turned from his conversation with his friend towards the Marauders.

"Hullo, lads, how was your summer?" he asked jovially, promptly changing the subject.

"Great. The best summer of my life," Sirius beamed. "Probably because it's the first summer I didn't have to spend in that abysmal, grim old hell hole."

"Mine was good, despite the fact that Sirius was staying over," James quipped, earning a rather rude gesture from his best mate.

"How was your summer?" Remus asked politely in return.

"Not bad," Benjy smiled.

"The usual," his friend Marcus McKinnon spoke. "We went on a holiday to Greece, but mostly it was trying to avoid my annoying sister as much as possible and missing Quidditch. Speaking of which, do you know who's been made the captain after Dorcas?"

"That'd be James," Sirius supplied, while James ran his hand through his hair.

"Sweet! Congrats, mate. I hope I'll still get to be on the team," Marcus grinned.

"It'd be tricky, finding a better Keeper than you are, McKinnon, so I figure you're safe," James replied.

Benjy stood up and straightened the front of his shirt.

"Anyway, duty calls, see you later," he smiled.

Remus, who also was a prefect, rose to follow Benjy, though before he left, he gave his friends a pointed glance and told them to behave themselves.

"Tell Evans Prongs says hi – Ouch, what was that for, mate?"

Remus shook his head as he walked through the door.

"Your friends are lively as ever," Benjy laughed as they walked along the narrow corridor towards the prefect compartment at the front.

"You have no idea," Remus sighed, though a smile tugged at his lips.

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><p>Mrs Evans was blissfully unaware of the tense and gloomy atmosphere surrounding the Platform 9¾, as she escorted her daughter through the magical barrier.<p>

"You have everything with you?" she asked her daughter.

"Yes, mum,." Lily replied, with a small smile.

Mrs Evans studied her daughter out of the corner of her eye. For some reason, she seemed a little nervous, but maybe that was just because of the new school year starting.

"Your father was so sorry he couldn't come see you off."

"I know," her daughter offered.

"Lily!" A short witch with shoulder-length light blonde hair made her way over to them. She was grinning.

Lily waved in response, smiling in return.

"Hey Mrs Evans," she greeted as she came to the halt before them.

"Nice to see you again, Marlene," Mrs Evans said, smiling kindly at her daughter's friend.

The blonde witch turned to talk to Lily.

"We saved you a seat – Mary and Gwen are already on board. Are you ready?"

Mrs Evans shared a glance with her daughter. Then, she pulled her into her arms.

"Have a nice school year, sweetheart. We'll see you at Christmas, alright? Don't forget to write us!"

"Thanks, mum. Take care, and say hi to dad for me."

With one last smile, Mrs Evans turned to leave, and Lily grabbed her trunk and followed Marlene towards train. As she made her way across the platform, she could feel her spine tingling. Stopping at the door of a train car, she glanced back, only to meet the hazel eyes of James Potter. The corners of his lips instantly twitched upwards, but the next second he was turning away, to speak to an elderly couple that could only be his parents.

"Everything alright?" Marlene asked with a raised brow.

"I thought I felt someone staring at me, but it was just Potter," Lily shrugged, bending to hoist her trunk onto the train with Marlene's help.

Marlene grinned again.

"Hasn't got the hint yet, then," the blonde witch murmured as she boarded the train.

Lily followed her and grabbed her trunk again.

"We're talking about Potter here. He will never get the hint," she said wryly.

Marlene shrugged.

"Anyway, Potter aside, I need to get to the prefect compartment," Lily told Marlene. "Do you mind taking my trunk and Augustus to our compartment? I'll come over as soon as I can."

"Well, I do mind," Marlene started with mock seriousness. She glanced at Lily's trunk and the cat carrier perched on top of it. "But I will do it anyway, because I'm such a good friend."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Thanks a million, Mar. See you later then!"

Marlene gave her a small wave as she took a hold of Lily's trunk, and then the redhead was walking briskly along the corridor, towards the two compartments at the front of the train that had been reserved for prefects.

It was almost half-full when she arrived. The freshly appointed Head Boy and Head Girl were already sitting at the front. Lily broke into a smile, seeing the gleaming badge pinned to the front of Alice Morgan's cardigan.

"Congrats on the promotion," she told her, and Alice smiled in return.

"Thanks, Lily!" her round cheeks flushed in delight.

Lily had always been on friendly terms with Alice Morgan. But then again, everyone liked Alice, she was hard-working, loyal and friendly; the very definition of a Hufflepuff.

"How's Frank?" Lily asked, enquiring after Alice's boyfriend, a former Gryffindor who had graduated just last year.

"He's fine. Very excited about the training no matter how gruelling it is."

Lily plopped down on the bench next to the seventh year Gryffindor prefect, Cynthia Jones, whom she greeted with a smile. She then let her eyes wander around the compartment, taking in both the familiar and unfamiliar faces. She answered the Head Boy Connor Matheson's smile with one of her own and waved at two Hufflepuff prefects; Jonathan Davies and Bertram Audrey, with whom she had gone on a few dates back in their fourth year.

Finally, she turned to the dark-haired witch sitting across from her.

"Hi, Emmeline," Lily greeted the seventh year Ravenclaw.

"Hello, Lily," Emmeline Vance replied with a graceful nod. Two fifth years were sitting next to Emmeline, new prefects. Lily was a bit surprised that she recognised both of them – Dirk Cresswell was one of Slughorn's favourites so she saw him in the meetings. Lily didn't know the name of the blonde witch sitting between Emmeline and Dirk, but she could swear they'd met her before.

"Hi," the Ravenclaw girl said, noticing Lily's eyes on her. "Kat Whyte." She offered her hand and Lily leaned forward to take it. "Thanks again for helping me out last year, you know, with the frogspawn incident."

Lily let out a laugh, when suddenly the scene from last autumn came to her vividly. The girl – Kat – had been running an errand for the Potions Master, carrying freshly delivered potion ingredients to the dungeons, when Sirius Black, chased by Potter, had practically steamrolled her, resulting in the entire corridor – Black and the girl included – being covered in frogspawn.

"No problem," Lily grinned. "Did Slughorn give you hell?" she asked, suddenly curious.

"Nah," Kat grinned back. "He just laughed."

The compartment door opened, and Benjy Fenwick and Remus Lupin entered, followed by seventh and sixth year Slytherins. Remus plopped down next to Lily, and she greeted him with a warm smile, which he returned.

"Hello, Lily."

"Hi, Remus. How was your summer?"

"Uneventful. Yours?"

"Boring."

They both shared a wry laugh.

The compartment door slid open again to admit the new Gryffindor prefects; Shaelyn Bell and Tiberius McLaggen whom Lily knew to be an obnoxious git based on what she had seen of him in the Slug Club meetings. Bell seemed to know this, too, as she appeared to be disgruntled by her partner, taking a seat as far away from him as possible.

The rest of the prefects dribbled in during the next five, ten minutes, and then finally the meeting was able to commence. The Head Boy and the Head Girl began by introducing themselves to everyone, and after that they went around in a circle having everyone introduce themselves in turn. Their duties and responsibilities were explained to them – the first briefing for the new prefects, and a good reminder for the older ones. Passwords were handed out for the Houses' common rooms as well as to the prefect bathroom. The first week's patrol schedule was established.

Lily noted that Connor and Alice made a good team, complementing each other. Alice was likable, easily winning people over and therefore everyone looked up to her. Connor was calm and decisive, both good traits for a leader. They got through their order of business efficiently, and had a good control over the meeting, although Lily thought that some of the sneering Slytherins, like Avery in her year, might want to make trouble at some point.

But it seemed even the Slytherins did not want to cause ruckus on the first day of the term, and the meeting progressed smoothly.

"Now, lastly, although we are not at Hogwarts yet, the term has already begun. Therefore you prefects will need to patrol the corridors here on the train," Alice said, smiling at everyone.

"We thought the best way to do that would be by forming groups of four, pairing two of our new prefects with two older ones," Connor continued.

"And so that everyone could get to know one another better, we mixed it up so that the new and older pairs come from different Houses."

Lily shared a glance with Remus. She really liked the idea of promoting solidarity, especially during these dark times. She only hoped that the Slytherins would keep on behaving themselves.

In the end, Lily and Remus were paired up with the new Ravenclaws. They volunteered for the first patrolling shift – the sooner the better was Lily Evans' motto. Tackling homework and other duties early also meant she could finish them early, and thus have more time for herself, free from fretting over to-dos.

The meeting ended and the prefects started to line out, leaving to sit in compartments with their friends. Lily, Remus, and their new Ravenclaw protégées were among the last to leave. Remus flashed a brief smile and Lily gave a small wave to Alice and Connor when they exited the prefects' compartment.

The patrol was a standard ordeal, having already been prefects for a year, this sort of thing was routine for Lily and Remus. They strolled along the corridors, keeping a sharp eye out for trouble, while idly chatting, occasionally greeting old friends, happy to see the familiar faces again after the summer. Half an hour went past very quickly, no one was eager to cause trouble, and soon enough the four of them said their goodbyes.

All in all it had gone without a hitch, the students seemed to be too eager to catch up with their mates to cause much trouble.

A friend of the fifth year Ravenclaw, Kat, bumped into them just as the four patrolling prefects were parting their ways. They immediately launched into a familiar banter, and Lily took that as their cue to leave, linking her arm with Remus'.

"Well, we'd better get going," she told the Ravenclaws cheerfully. "Play nice, kids."

"Lively bunch," Remus commented evenly once they were out of earshot.

"I think that's a good thing," Lily mused. "As much as I loathe stereotypes, Ravenclaws are too subdued much of the time. I mean there have certainly been several occasions when I've wished that our House would be less rowdy, but I don't think burying yourself in books is the right answer either."

"I happen to like reading," Remus replied indignantly, but the slight glimmer in his warm eyes belied his amusement.

Lily smiled.

"As do I, but there is such a thing as 'too much'."

"Says Lily 'The Bookworm' Evans," Remus quipped, earning a light laugh.

And then, they were rudely interrupted.

"Here you are, Moony! You were taking ages, so I came to find you."

"You mean James kicked you out?" Remus dryly remarked.

"Nuh-uh, I just came to see if you were all done with your prefecting," Sirius Black said. He was trying to school his features into feigned innocence, but his grey eyes still sparkled mischievously.

"Hullo, Evans," he added, as if as an afterthought.

"Hi, Black," she responded neutrally.

"James sends his best," Sirius continued smoothly.

Remus' eyebrow twitched.

"No, I'm fairly sure James told you to piss off, judging by that punch earlier," he informed Sirius.

"I loathe to admit," Lily chimed in, "but I'm tempted to agree with the toerag on that."

"Please don't, Evans," Sirius said, his eyes twinkling, "the day you agree with James marks the end of our world."

Lily's lips twitched.

"That might be," she acquiesced.

"Also, the toerag would like to let you know that from now on, you should address him as the Captain," Sirius grinned.

"The Captain?" Lily asked, raising her eyebrows.

"James was made the team captain," Remus explained.

"Right. Of course he was," Lily muttered.

"A-nyway," Sirius cut in, "I'm stealing Moony back now." He stepped forward and looped his arm around Remus's.

Remus used his free hand to swat at Sirius, but it did nothing to deter him.

"Have a spiffing day, Evans."

With that, Sirius Black dragged Remus Lupin off, ignoring his mate's muttered protests.

Lily stared after them for a few seconds, then shook her head. She had better find her own friends.

* * *

><p>When Lily slid the compartment door shut, she let out a breath she had not realised she had been holding. The tension left her shoulders when she faced her friends. She had not even noticed how much she had dreaded seeing Snape again, not until she found how relieved she felt now that she had not met him in the corridor during the patrol. He had been her best friend for years until the sorry incident at the end of the last year, when Lily had put her foot down. It had been due for a while, and she knew she had had little choice in the matter, but the loss of the friendship still hurt, and so Lily had spent most of her summer moping in her room. Finally she had decided that she would waste no more time or tears on Snivellus, but it was easy enough to boast how she and Snape were finished and she was done caring when she was safely cooped up at home. Now she would actually have to face him; see him at the meals, go to classes with him... She wasn't sure what to make of that.<p>

All four of her dorm-mates were sitting in the compartment. Mary MacDonald, a sweet and petite muggle-born witch with brown hair and soft smile. Marlene McKinnon, a pure-blood blonde witch who was very much a tomboy and always butting heads with Gwen Douglas. Gwen played Chaser in the Quidditch team and was the neat freak to Marlene's lazy slob. The fourth witch was a small and pretty Indian girl Bethany, a popular and sociable person.

Lily greeted everyone and then took a seat between Mary and Augustus' carrier. She crooned to her cat briefly before turning to her friends.

"I got you a cauldron cake from the trolley earlier," Mary offered, handing the treat wrapped in a napkin.

"You're a life-saver, Mary MacDonald," Lily sighed gratefully, taking a bite out of the cake.

"So, who made the Head students?" Bethany asked eagerly from the bench across. She had always had a nose for gossip.

"Alice Morgan from Hufflepuff and Connor Matheson from Ravenclaw," Lily replied after she had swallowed the bit of cake.

"Well done Alice!" Marlene exclaimed.

"Ooh, Connor deserves it," Betty chirped. "He's so dreamy."

"Shame it isn't Benjy, though," Gwen commented.

"I did hear another piece of gossip, straight out of a Marauder's mouth," Lily continued.

"Did Potter bug you again?" Marlene asked, her brow raised.

Lily shook her head.

"So what's the gossip?" Betty asked, leaning forward in her seat.

Lily looked at Gwen.

"Potter's been made the Captain."

Bethany let out a girlish squeal, causing Marlene to grimace.

"I knew it!" Gwen grinned, enthused. "Potter's going to brilliant," she declared.

Lily kept her opinions to herself, and chose to eat the rest of her cauldron cake instead.

She leaned back on her seat and studied her friends. Bethany and Gwen were talking about Quidditch players while Marlene was feigning a yawn. Marlene didn't really care that much for conversation topics such as boys, clothes or gossip, so girly girls like Betty typically had her making faces. Although, after sharing the dorm for five years, Marlene had learned to tolerate her.

Gwen had unsurprisingly spent a lot of her summer outdoors. Probably on a broomstick, Lily mused. She had worked up a nice tan, which made Lily quite envious of her friend. The closest she would ever get to a tan was sunburn, but what little colour she would gain – various unflattering shades of red – would peel off the next day or so, condemning her to the pastiness she started with.

"This year's going to be brilliant," Marlene grinned, jolting Lily out of her thoughts. "We have more free time but no N.E.W.T.s yet. We're turning seventeen and we'll learn to apparate. This is our year, girls!"

Lily smiled at Marlene's enthusiasm.

"I'm gonna miss History of Magic, though," the blonde witch continued.

"You failed History of Magic, Mar," Gwen reminded her pointedly.

Marlene shrugged. "It was a rubbish subject. But the lessons were perfect for after lunch naptime."

"Well, you have your free time now," Mary reminded, while Lily shook her head.

The conversation soon evolved as Betty enquired about what grades everyone had got for O. .

"Lily has a neat line of O's, and no one's surprised," Marlene said with a teasing grin.

"Liar, I did get two E's, you know," Lily countered, crossing her arms across her chest.

"You should have got an O from Defence, too," Gwen said, shaking her head. "You aced the theory portion."

"Yes, well, I didn't do so well in the practical exam."

"Yeah, but that was because S-" at a quick warning look from Mary, Marlene coughed. "I mean the shite examiner probably shafted you."

Lily shrugged. She tried to ignore the way her stomach had sunk just a little even though Marlene never mentioned the sore name in the end.

Mary sent a quick, sympathising glance at her way and quickly steered the conversation into what subjects they each were pursuing for N.E. , and the awkwardness soon lifted as everyone happily chatted about the classes.

"Seems like we'll all be taking Defence and Charms," Mary summarised with a smile.

"And you four will be together in Transfiguration, too," Bethany chirped.

"I'm surprised Marlene qualified for N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration," Gwen quipped.

"Gwen," Lily admonished.

Marlene shrugged. "I'd be offended, but frankly I'm just as baffled that McGonagall gave me an E."

"Could've been an accident."

"Gwen, really," Lily hissed, torn between exasperation and amusement.

"Please don't be at each other's throats before we even get to Hogwarts," Mary pleaded. Without her expert skills as a mediator, Gwen and Marlene would have throttled one another long ago.

The two of them were like oil and water. They didn't actually dislike each other, although they could have well fooled others with their constant bickering. They were actually rather fond of one another, but chose to show their affection in the form of frequent arguments. Lily suspected that was because although in many ways the two witches were polar opposites, they both had equal amounts of ego and attitude.

"Well, I'm going to see Florence and Vickie," Bethany announced when the talk finally came into a lull. "See you guys later!" she waved cheerfully and left the compartment. Betty was very sociable, and had friends in all Houses and years.

The rest of the Gryffindor girls continued catching up and discussing their summer holidays and class schedules. Lily was grateful when she told about her plight of having to stay in all summer in the fear of running into Snape if she left the house and received sympathy from her friends rather than I-told-you-so's. Each of them had warned her about Severus one time or another, but now that the worst had happened, they were there to console and support her.

Marlene's wild account of their family vacation in Greece had everyone in stitches. Gwen excitedly told about the Quidditch games she had been to during the break. Mary recounted how she had helped in the preparations of the annual summer fair in her village.

The girls chatted and joked and bickered and laughed, and the hours sped by as the Hogwarts Express steadily journeyed north.

* * *

><p>When they were getting near Hogsmeade, everyone started to turn to their trunks and change into the school robes. Bethany returned to the compartment just as Gwen was shimmying out of her shorts, causing her to shriek a quick apology and quickly pull down the blinds of the compartment window.<p>

Lily grunted as she pulled her trunk down from the luggage rack. She changed out of the flared jeans and short-sleeved jumper and into her robes, and pinned the shiny silver badge on her chest.

"Mary, could you be a darling and look after Augustus for me? I need to make sure we all flock out of this train in an orderly fashion."

"Of course, Lily," Mary smiled.

"Don't worry, we'll be good little sheep," Gwen supplied.

"Thanks, that makes my job easier," Lily grinned. "See you in a bit!"

The first person she saw out in the corridor was Remus. The sandy-haired young man was leaning against the wall, watching the people start getting ready to exit the train. They were shuffling in the compartments, and peering out of the windows, waiting for the train to stop.

"You know, Remus," Lily teased, halting beside him, "we've got to stop meeting like this."

Remus flashed her a small smile.

"Would that I could."

The train slowed down and then finally stopped moving. Students began to exit the compartments and file down the corridor. Lily waved to Mary as she passed her with Augustus' carrier, and smiled when she noticed Benjy Fenwick offering to carry Marlene's owl cage for her as she stepped off the train.

As per Gwen's snarky promise, the students were obedient and orderly as they filed out of the train and onto the platform. Soon their car was all but empty, and Remus and Lily left the train. Their friends were waiting for them on the platform, chatting together. Sirius' joke reached its punchline just as they reached the group of sixth year Gryffindors, welcomed by Gwen and Marlene's laughter.

"Thanks, Mary," Lily said as she took Augustus' carrier from her friend.

"Any time," Mary smiled at her.

Lily felt eyes on her and knew right away what she would see, but she chose to raise her gaze and meet the twinkling hazel eyes.

"Potter," she acknowledged with a curt nod.

"Evans," he returned with a quick, crooked grin. "May I say you seem especially radiant on this fine day?"

"You may, but it seems my knees fail to be feeling weak. Also I'm curious, when did you swallow a bad romance novel?" Lily quipped.

James' grin widened. "That was an unfortunate accident. It all started with a poorly timed, impromptu game of tag in the library. You see – "

But Lily had stopped listening to Potter's impromptu jape because right then, across the platform, she spotted the familiar greasy black hair in the crowd of students and her stomach gave a sick lurch. She shrank a little and stepped closer to Remus, as if to hide herself from sight.

Potter had stopped talking. He was looking at her and his eyes suddenly seemed guarded.

"We should get moving," Peter spoke up finally, into the awkward silence suddenly reigning over them, and the group started down the platform and towards the waiting carriages where it split to two, the girls getting into one and the boys to another.

* * *

><p><strong>Chie:<strong> I actually ended up writing a short oneshot fleshing out "The Frogspawn Incident" referenced in this chapter. So if anyone's interested, feel free to check it out! :)


	3. Chapter 2 - Back To School

_The broken locks were a warning_

_You got inside my head_

_I tried my best to be guarded_

_I'm an open book instead_

**Lifehouse:** Broken

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Two – Back to School<span>

Lily had been more silent than usual during the ride from the Hogsmeade train station to Hogwarts. She had taken her place at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, sitting down between Mary and Marlene. She had purposefully avoided looking over to the Slytherin table as the Sorting Hat had sung its song, urging for solidarity between the Houses, reminding them to find strength in unity. The Hat had made its songs around a similar theme for four years now, as the war had grown more destructive and started tearing their world apart. Lily had watched the sorting together with her friends, and she had tried so hard to concentrate on it and shut out the could-have-beens whirling on her mind.

She tried to shake it off the best she could, listen attentively to Dumbledore's welcoming speech, enjoy the delicious feast, joke around with her friends, but through everything she still felt like her stomach was in knots. She thought she had made a convincing show of acting normal, until she accidentally caught Potter staring at her. He quickly averted his gaze, but the frown on his face remained. Lily sighed, and attacked the chocolate pudding with fervour.

After the feast, Lily, Remus, and the other Gryffindor prefects showed the first years the way to the Gryffindor Tower and helped to herd the rest of their House across the castle. She had just settled down in her favourite arm chair by the fireplace in the common room, when her friends arrived.

They spent at least an hour there, just chatting, basking in the warmth of the fire and occasionally giggling. Finally they left upstairs, and Lily's dull mood briefly broke when she entered the dorm room. Here, finally, she felt like she had come back home. The friendly chatter finally died as the girls prepared for bed and crawled under their blankets, Gwen and Marlene drawing the curtains of their beds shut.

But Lily just lay there, staring at the dark canopy of her bed, listening to Marlene's soft snores and Gwen's even breaths. Augustus was curled up by her pillow, sleeping lightly. She had resigned to staying awake, and imagined she was the only person losing sleep, when a whisper carried from the neighbouring bed.

"Lily?"

"What is it, Mary?" Lily replied in an undertone.

Mary was quiet for a moment, though a rustle told Lily she moved.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever it is that is bothering you. You were awfully quiet all night and seemed a bit distracted."

Lily turned under her blankets to face Mary, and hummed to herself.

"I didn't think anyone noticed. Well, except for maybe Potter."

"What is it?" Mary's voice was quiet and kind.

Lily bit her lip. She propped herself up on her bed, supporting her weight with her elbow.

"I saw Se – Snape – on the platform today," she started hesitantly. "Just noticed him in the crowd. He didn't even see me. But… the sight of him, it just instantly brought everything back, so vividly like I had a film running in my head."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Lily."

"I know I need to move on. And I won't forgive him or make any more excuses for him. But it still hurts, because we were so close." Frustrated, Lily combed her hair with her fingers. "You're my best friend, Mary, but Severus… He had been my friend for the longest."

"It will take time," came Mary's reassuring answer.

"You know what's the worst part?"

Mary shook her head.

"Severus was the only friend I had left whom I had known before I came to Hogwarts. It's like… every year, I feel more and more divided. Every year there are more things I can't tell my parents because they couldn't understand or because I don't want to scare or upset them… Every year I feel like I'm drifting further and further away and that scares me."

"I know," Mary said. "I feel the same way sometimes. I haven't told my parents about the war either. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong to either the muggle or the wizarding world."

"Yeah," Lily sighed, succumbing to the gloom, "we can't go back to how we were before we came to Hogwarts, and yet there are people in this world saying we're not real witches and shouldn't be allowed to _live_."

Mary hugged her knees.

"It's awful," she whispered to the dark room.

"I just want to find somewhere to belong," Lily confessed, her voice shaking slightly. "Hogwarts feels like home, but we only have two years left now. What then?"

"I don't know," Mary said, her voice small and helpless in the dark.

And the two muggle-born girls fell silent, both lost in their thoughts as the night deepened.

* * *

><p>James felt decidedly glum when he and his friends – sans Remus – made their way up to the Gryffindor Tower. He couldn't have helped but notice how withdrawn Lily had become, ever since that fleeting moment when she had seen Snape on the Hogsmeade platform. She had of course put on a show of normalcy, seemingly enjoying the Welcoming feast and laughing with her friends, but none of that was in earnest. Her bright green eyes had been dull all evening, lacking their usual lively sparkle. It was obvious that she was still hung up over how her and Snivellus' friendship had been torn apart.<p>

The last thing James Potter wanted in the world was seeing Lily Evans unhappy, and it turned his stomach to know that her current misery was ultimately his doing.

Trudging up the stairs leading to the boys' dormitories, he mulled over his options and as the three Marauders entered their dorm, James grimly came to a decision.

James blurted out his epiphany, not even pausing to greet Remus who had already made himself at home in the dormitory.

"I'm giving up."

"That's splendid, Prongs. What are we talking about again?" Peter asked absentmindedly, digging through his trunk.

"Evans," James replied matter-of-factly.

"Of course we are," Sirius muttered glumly.

"She hates me, so I'm giving up." James sank into his four-poster bed with a heavy sigh.

For a moment, the three Marauders merely stared at James in silence, before Peter scoffed and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Good on you, Prongs."

"Yeah right."

"I could do with a little more support. You're rubbish mates, you lot," James said indignantly.

"This isn't exactly the first time you've said that, Prongs," Remus reminded him kindly, sitting at the edge of his own bed. "You've 'given up' on Lily dozens of times."

James glared at his friends.

"Well, this time I mean it."

"You've said that before, too," Sirius told him. "And Evans has always hated you."

"But she hates me more now. She must, after what happened in June."

"You mean when we hexed Snivellus?" Sirius chuckled. "Good times."

"No, I mean what happened _after_ that, him calling her the M-word. Their friendship ended and she cried and it's my fault."

"James," Remus started patiently, "Snape burned his bridges all on his own. You did not force him to insult Lily."

"But I was involved in it," James insisted.

"Yes, you were," Remus agreed, "but it still wasn't your fault."

James didn't reply. Remus sighed; he could tell that his friend still felt guilty about it, no matter how much reason he would try to talk into him. James could be infuriatingly stubborn.

Sirius crossed the room, plopped down into James' bed and clapped his best mate on the shoulder.

"Well, if you're really giving up on Evans, I can only tell you one thing."

James looked at his friend, who had schooled his face into a sombre expression.

"And that is?" he prompted.

"I am so very proud of you, Prongsie-boy," Sirius said, breaking into a grin.

Personally, Sirius Black had never understood what James saw in Evans. Okay, the girl did have a good pair of legs on her and a fantastic bum, but she was too much of the stick-in-a-mud-stickler-for-rules-wand-up-her-arse kind of a heartless bitch and butcheress of everything and anything fun, for her eye-pleasing physique to be a redeeming quality.

Remus shook his head. He wasn't really convinced that James could stay true to his word this time. James obviously cared a lot about Lily, and you could not simply put a stop to fancying someone like that. He looked at James, who was now laughing about something with Sirius. Giving up on Lily could be a good thing, Remus concluded, though not in the way James intended. Maybe he would quit trying so hard around her now. That would give Lily a chance to see the real James, the James who wasn't making an utter arse out of himself while trying to show off for her benefit.

Well, one could hope, at the least.

* * *

><p>It was the morning of their second day back and the Hogwarts rumour mill was already in full swing. One of its well-oiled cogs, Lily's dorm mate Bethany Narang, was more than eager to share the juicy gossip she had picked up.<p>

"Did you hear about Professor Harkins?" she asked the moment Lily, Mary and Marlene sat down next to Gwen at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall.

"No," Lily replied as she poured herself a cup of tea. "What about him?"

"He won't be teaching anymore."

Lily's gaze shot up from the scrambled eggs she had been spooning onto her plate and gaped at Bethany. She had been so dazed at the Welcoming feast last night that she had not even noticed the change at the staff table.

Marlene seemed disgruntled as well, she groaned as she speared her slice of bacon.

"Don't tell me we're getting a new Defence teacher again?"

Lily bit her lip and frowned at her eggs.

Every year, they would have a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Lily found it quite ridiculous. Half the student body actually was in the firm belief that the job was somehow jinxed. Whatever the reason though, it really upset Lily that their education in the subject was so disjointed and lacked consistency. After all, at this moment, with a dark wizard fanning the flames of war, Defence Against the Dark Arts had to be one of the most important lessons in the whole school. What they learned in the classroom could very well save their lives one day. Really, it was the one subject where they could not afford to have subpar teaching, Lily pondered, glumly moving her eggs around her plate.

The red-haired witch snapped out of her thoughts when Bethany leaned across the table, her dark eyes flashing.

"Apparently Professor Harkins spent his Christmas in France last year and through mutual acquaintances met a woman." Bethany giggled. "They kept in contact, sending letters back and forth all spring, and when the school year ended Harkins informed Professor Dumbledore that he had applied for a position at Beauxbatons."

"That's sweet," Mary sighed.

"I hope things work out with him and this lady friend," Marlene noted with a dry smile, swirling her goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Any news about the new Defence teacher?" Gwen asked.

"Not much," Bethany confessed. "Just that her name is Quirke and that she seems fairly young."

"Well, we'll have to see for ourselves when we have Defence, I suppose," Marlene shrugged, and went back to her bacon.

After the breakfast was over, the sixth years lingered at the Gryffindor table. Professor McGonagall had come down from the staff table to distribute the timetables for everyone, but since sixth years' schedules were the trickiest, she was saving them for last. McGonagall had to check everyone's O.W.L. grades to make sure they were eligible for their chosen lessons.

"Of course, you have nothing to worry about," Marlene told Lily rather snidely.

"I'm glad you're so happy for me," Lily snorted.

"She's just jealous," Gwen shrugged. "Ignore her."

"She shouldn't be," Betty chirped, smiling. "Lily is brilliant, but we all know she also works hard."

"Whereas you don't," Gwen added helpfully, "You're not stupid, Marls, just lazy."

Mary saw Marlene roll her eyes and decided to put her foot down.

"Please, girls, don't start fighting now."

Marlene looked like she wanted to retort, but held her tongue in the end. Mostly because Professor McGonagall had just turned away from James Potter and his friends, and was coming over to them.

"Alright, Miss Douglas," she said briskly as she looked through her notes. "You wanted Ancient Runes, Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration?"

"Yes, professor," Gwen replied.

"Well, everything seems to be in order," McGonagall said, tapping the timetable with her wand to fill it and then handed it to Gwen.

"Now, Miss Evans, Ancient Runes, Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Potions and Transfiguration are all fine, here you go."

"Thank you, professor."

Lily studied her timetable as Professor McGonagall continued to distribute them to her friends. It seemed she had Runes in fifteen minutes.

When they had got their timetables, all five girls walked back to the Gryffindor Tower. Lily and Gwen fetched their schoolbags and rushed off to their Runes lesson, leaving the others lounging comfortably in the common room, enjoying their free time.

"How's yours?" Gwen asked as they walked towards the classroom.

"Surprisingly nice," Lily replied. "Wednesday and Friday are going to be very laid back."

Gwen made a face.

"Thursdays are going to be bloody annoying," she said. "I have Runes at eight and Defence at two and nothing in between."

"Well, from what I've heard from Alice Morgan and Emmeline Vance, I doubt we really get to enjoy all this spare time. N.E.W.T. lessons are hard."

Gwen nodded.

"Yeah, it probably won't be as laid-back as Marlene boasted."

"We can always hope," Lily smiled. "But I think we're in for a rude awakening."

* * *

><p>Lily's statement turned out to be truer than either of them had even realised. Gwen seemed to actually be in shock when the two witches emerged from Ancient Runes an hour later, buried up to their ears in homework.<p>

"She's gone mad," the brunette announced with a rueful shake of her head.

"Well, Professor Babbling has always been heavy-handed with homework," Lily reminded her friend. The Runes Professor was young and enthusiastic, having started teaching only three years ago.

"Not like this," Gwen muttered under her breath.

The girls parted ways when they reached the staircases, Gwen headed up to the Gryffindor Tower while Lily went down, hurrying to her next class, a double lesson of Herbology.

Mary and Marlene were already outside by the greenhouses, idly conversing with the Gryffindor boys when Lily arrived. It appeared that all of them except for Peter were taking Herbology. Remus and James greeted her with friendly smiles and a wave of hand, but Sirius Black only deigned to give Lily a curt nod. She didn't mind. He wasn't exactly her favourite person, either.

The six Gryffindors made some small talk about timetables and lessons, until Professor Sprout appeared, wearing her patchy hat and dirt-spotted robes as always, and announced that they would be in greenhouse five.

They had actually never been in that particular greenhouse before, and Lily felt a surge of curiosity as the students began to file in. She noticed how in front of her, James Potter very gentlemanly gestured for a Ravenclaw girl, Dana Watson, to step in before him. The girl repaid his courtesy with a quick smile and flash of dimples.

Time always seemed to fly in the greenhouses. It was such a change of pace from the usual textbooks and sitting in a classroom. There was actually something rather relaxing and satisfying about burying ones hands in the dirt. Or, well, there would have been if the plants they were handling weren't occasionally violent and potentially deadly. It certainly was a very different walk in the park from Lily's mother's meticulously cared-for flower garden.

Lily and Mary were still trying to clean the dirt out from under their fingernails, when the girls sat down at the Gryffindor table for lunch. Gwen announced that she had taken advantage of her spare time to get a head start with her Rune translations. Lily commended her for her hard work, though Marlene only sniffed in disdain.

After lunch, Mary and Lily made their way to double Potions. As they descended into the dungeons, Lily's previously contently full stomach began to knot and sink. She loved Potions, it was her favourite lesson together with Charms, and she was quite fond of Professor Slughorn, too. But Potions had always been her and Sev's thing. They had shared a table during the lessons, experimented a little together, taking liberties with the stuffy instructions in the books.

In the torch-lit corridor outside the Potions classroom there was no sign of Severus Snape, however, and the tension Lily hadn't even noticed she was carrying left her shoulders. In fact, they were early, since apart from two Slytherin girls lounging about the corridor was empty. At the sight of Lily, the tall dark-haired girl nudged her friend, who quickly shot Lily an ugly glare. Then, the tall girl, Adeleine Blastock, decisively turned her back to her.

Such a lovely greeting from a fellow prefect, Lily thought dryly, and then promptly ignored the Slytherin girls in turn.

Other students began to appear in the corridor, and soon enough the girls were joined by two gentlemen.

"Hello, ladies," a cheerful voice greeted. "We meet again."

The bespectacled boy grinned as he plopped to lean against the stone wall, next to Lily. Remus shook his head.

"Potions, Potter?" Lily asked mildly, her brow quirking in surprise.

James only offered a one-shouldered shrug.

"It's a staple subject," Remus spoke. "Although it isn't exactly my strong suit, either."

"Not all of us can be brewing geniuses," James sighed regretfully, though the smile still played on his lips.

"Oh, I suppose not," Lily replied with a light tone, making James grin wider.

As Remus and Mary began to converse in soft tones, Lily glanced around at the students congregated in the hallway. Her heart did the familiar, sickening jolt as she spotted Severus. The class seemed significantly smaller than last year, besides their little group there were four Slytherins, three Ravenclaws and only two Hufflepuffs. Finally, Professor Slughorn arrived and flashed a fond, jovial smile Lily's way before he unlocked the door and followed his protruding belly into the classroom. The students quickly filed in, gathering around the tables. There were four seats at each table, which suited the four Gryffindors perfectly. They sat down and then the familiar rummaging began. Professor Slughorn patiently waited until everyone was finished pulling out their textbooks and adjusting their scales, and then launched into an introduction of the Advanced Potions class.

And while Lily felt completely enraptured by the lecture, a part of her felt uncomfortably conscious of the table at the back of the room where the Slytherins and her former best friend had chosen to sit. She couldn't completely shake off that bothersome, painful awareness or banish Severus from her thoughts. She bit her lip and squeezed her quill so tightly her knuckles blanched.

But when Slughorn finally wrapped up his lecture and the time came to actually start the brewing, Lily found her lips twitching into a smile. A moment later she was laughing, the sour bunch of Slytherins and dear old Snivellus completely forgotten. Shaking her head, she met the twinkling hazel eyes and felt for a moment very grateful that James Potter was there, cracking his stupid jokes until he managed to coax a smile onto her lips.

Idly, Lily wondered whether these were his usual antics, or whether he was doing it for her benefit. Lily had noticed before that James Potter was much more perceptive than most people might have thought, so she could not fully discount the possibility that his animated japes were purposefully designed to take her mind off of the painfully wistful remembrance of her lost friendship.

Lily powdered the asphodel root with vigour and then dropped it into her cauldron. She carefully adjusted the heat and stirred the concoction, staring down at the swirling pale vapours with a small smile.

Perhaps, Potions lessons without Severus wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

><p>The most memorable lesson of the first school day of the year, however, was Defence Against the Dark Arts. The anticipation was high before the lesson even began, the corridor outside the classroom was filled with animated, eagerly speculating students who were curious to see what the new teacher would be like.<p>

Soon, they were all sitting at their desks in the classroom, a hushed silence reigning over them as the class and the teacher quietly examined one another.

Lily's first impression was the voice with which the woman spoke; clear and carrying with a slight Irish lilt.

"My name is Professor Quirke," the witch introduced herself.

She was wearing dark blue robes and a solemn expression.

"I can see from the notes of your previous teachers that you've been subjected to quite a number of teachers who have all had their own ideas of suitable curriculums. At the end of the day that leaves you with quite the patchwork of an education. I'm delighted to see that so many of you did well enough on your O.W.L.s to continue on to these advanced lessons of Defence Against the Dark Arts."

The classroom was hushed, and Lily listened with rapt attention like many of her fellow students. Even the marauders were sitting still and paying attention.

"Defence Against the Dark Arts boasts a long history, but it has never been as relevant as it is today. That is why I want you to know, that my job is not about preparing you for your N.E.W.T.s."

Whispers immediately erupted from that peculiar statement, but Professor Quirke paid no heed to the confused looks her students were giving her.

"My job," she continued, her voice firm, "is to prepare you for the war raging outside these walls."

The whispers died and the classroom fell into such deep silence that one could have heard a pin drop.

Professor Quirke waved her wand and words appeared on the blackboard behind her. The room quickly came alive again, with the sounds of rustling parchment, ink bottles popping open and a dozen quills scratching, as the students hurried to take notes.

"Here is our curriculum for this school year. As you can see, we will devote most of the autumn term to curses and counter-curses, the emphasis being on non-verbal spells and duelling…"

Forty minutes later, the five awed sixth year Gryffindor girls were walking to the Charms classroom and their very last lesson of the day, when Marlene finally found her voice.

"She's amazing," she blurted out, in a respectful tone.

The others were quick to agree.

"That was a powerful little speech she did there," Gwen said. "Made quite the impression."

"It was very impressive," Lily said. It had been only one lesson, but she already liked Professor Quirke. Like Gwen said, she had made an impression. Her thoughts seemed to coincide much with Lily's own, and she couldn't help but to admire the new teacher.

"She is clearly better than Harkins was," Bethany Narang chirped, and Mary nodded.

* * *

><p>The small table before her plump chair was covered with rolls and sheets of parchment and piles of books. She had been furiously writing just a moment ago but now she was holding up the parchment and inspecting it. There was that adorable little crease on her brow and she was biting her lip, her green eyes narrowed in concentration.<p>

"I thought you were giving up," Peter's puzzled voice remarked, bringing him back to reality. James Potter tore his gaze away from the red-haired witch, and ran a frustrated hand through his black hair.

"I am," he replied firmly. Then he sighed. "It's a process, you know? I mean, I can't just flip a switch and stop caring."

"I guess," the plump blond boy acquiesced. He studied his friend, then glanced across the room where the witch was studying. "Did you ever think about becoming friends?"

James gaped at Peter.

"Friends? _Me and Evans_? Were you hit over the head again, Wormy?"

"Why not?" the small boy countered. "Remus told me about Potions. You got along okay today, didn't you?"

"I suppose…" James frowned. He very much would have liked to be friends with Lily Evans, but befriending the witch had never really crossed his mind – not as a serious consideration in any case. He didn't think it would really work out, though, she had been pretty upfront about what she thought of him at the end of the last school year. Still, Potions lesson that afternoon had gone all right.

Lily and James shared a House, most of their lessons, and a few of their friends – namely Remus, Marlene and Gwen. Therefore it wasn't uncommon for them to spend time together or hold a casual conversation every now and then. But they weren't really friends and James didn't know her that well. They never actually spent time alone, just the two of them. Usually when they interacted it was in a group of friends.

Of course, he would continue to be friendly to Evans, even now. His decision to give up on her was restricted to pursuing a relationship with her. But pursuing a friendship would be a whole other matter, and wouldn't really contradict his intent of giving up on her. Rather, it could actually further his agenda, reassigning Lily Evans from "the girl he really fancied" to "just a friend".

"I'll have to think about it," James said at last, earning a weak smile from Peter. The messy-haired boy straightened in his seat and picked up the Transfiguration textbook.

"Now which part were you having trouble with, Wormy?"


	4. Chapter 3 - Schoolwork Blues

_We're all fighting growing old_

_In the hopes_

_Of a few minutes more_

_[…]_

_But you need to lower your standards_

_Cause it's never_

_Getting any better than this_

**- Fall Out Boy:** Rat A Tat

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Three – Schoolwork Blues<span>

They had all thought that the O.W.L. year had been bad, but once again hindsight proved to be 20/20. Already after their very first N.E.W.T. lessons, the Gryffindor girls were wistfully longing for the peace and relaxation of their previous year. The first Transfiguration lecture had Lily's head spinning and Marlene moaning about how she was going to fail. Professor Babbling was no longer the only teacher who was overly generous when handing out homework assignments and to Marlene's disappointment, after-lunch naptime was completely out of the question; the free time allotted to them in their timetables was spent studying. Trying to stay on top of their piling homework was a struggle, and felt much like panicked last-minute cramming for an exam – only now that was on a daily basis. A lot of their teachers seemed to feel that the textbooks alone weren't enough and recommended books for auxiliary reading, resulting in frequent library visits. Also non-verbal spells had come to stay, and were included in the curriculum for Charms and Transfiguration as well, on top of Defence.

It was a definite step up from their previous years and the workload had increased significantly. Still, Lily couldn't help but feel exhilarated; even though it was hard and more than a little overwhelming, she fully embraced the challenge.

The Gryffindor boys weren't faring much better than the girls. James found the mountain of homework a pain in the arse and it didn't help that he now needed to find a precarious balance between his schoolwork and his new responsibilities as the captain of the Quidditch team. He had always loved the sport, it had been a great way to blow off some steam, but all of a sudden it dawned to him that now he could no longer just play for fun. If they wanted to win – and James loved winning – he would have to step up and be a _leader_. He would have to start taking it more seriously, go over strategies, keep a close eye on the other teams, make sure that all his players got along and worked well together. So even though they were only a few days into the term, James was convinced that sixth year would be troublesome.

Peter was in the depths of despair already after their first lessons and had squeaked in a voice verging on panic how he hadn't understood a third of what McGonagall had been saying despite Transfiguration being one of his best subjects. Remus was grumbling and looked even paler than usual and spent hours practising non-verbal spells in their dormitory.

Only Sirius appeared unconcerned, but even he was starting to notice to his displeasure that talent and natural charm only went so far. He had never put much effort in his schoolwork, but had still managed to top most of his classes. Now he very quickly realised that while he still might breeze through the N.E.W.T. lessons without picking up the textbook, he would actually have to _work_ if he wanted grades better than Acceptable.

All in all, their sixth year at Hogwarts was proving to be a very different experience from their previous years.

* * *

><p>It was Saturday afternoon, and the Gryffindor girls minus Bethany were all cooped up in their room. Lily absent-mindedly petted Augustus who was curled up in a ball. Then, she glanced around the room and saw Mary frowning at her parchment, Marlene chewing at the end of her quill in despair and Gwen muttering under her breath as she took notes from the textbook.<p>

Lily closed her book and tossed it aside and hopped up from her bed.

"We're going out," she declared. All the eyes in the room snapped to her.

"We're doing what now?" Marlene asked, incredulous.

"We're going out," Lily repeated matter-of-factly. "We're stuck in our dorm doing schoolwork on a Saturday afternoon, and you guys all look bloody miserable. So it's time for a break. The homework will wait until the evening or tomorrow."

"Well, if Lily is saying it's time to take a break, I guess it's time to take a break," Gwen shrugged. She stood up and rolled her shoulders.

Ten minutes later, the four girls were strolling across the grounds to their favourite spot at the side of the Lake. It was not one of those warm and sunny early autumn days. It was overcast, the clouds carrying a promise of rain, and the wind that made their cloaks flutter was cool. None of them seemed to mind, though, the fresh air had perked them all up considerably. When they sat down on the grass, the tension had already left their shoulders, the frowns and wrinkles disappeared from their foreheads. They looked over the lake, enjoying the companionable silence. Lily threw her head back, looked up at the clouds and smiled.

"I need to get back on the broomstick," Gwen sighed. "Potter had better hold the tryouts soon. I'm going bonkers without Quidditch."

"Don't we know it," Marlene retorted, rolling her eyes.

"We've only had two days of school and I already feel so overwhelmed," Mary moaned, hugging her knees to her chest.

"I know," Marlene lamented. "There's so much work, I think they're trying to drive us mad."

"Why would they do that?"

"Just for the heck of it I suppose."

"I think the non-verbal spells are going be the death of me," Gwen groaned.

"Me, too," Marlene echoed, for once agreeing with her friend.

"Yeah they seem to be very difficult to cast," Lily chimed in.

"Says the witch who actually succeeded in casting them," Marlene complained.

"Only twice," Lily countered. "I failed more times than I succeeded."

"But you succeeded nonetheless," Gwen insisted. "That's well done, Lily."

"Still, they're certainly pushing us very hard this year," Lily mused.

"Yes they are, and you're totally enjoying it," Gwen accused, rolling her eyes.

"Well…"

"Eh, we all know about Lily's competitive streak," Marlene shook her head. "Of course she's loving this torture."

"That reminds me, it's been quite a while since our last poker game."

"_No_, Lily."

"Nuh uh, we're not playing with you."

"Come on, where's that famous Gryffindor courage?" Lily pouted.

"It's not cowardice, it's about picking your battles," Gwen replied sagely.

"Yeah and we have no desire for getting our arses kicked by you," Marlene added. "Again."

"And how would you know I get the winning hand when the cards had not even been dealt?"

"Because you always win in the end, Lily."

"For a little miss prefect, you're a terrific liar."

"I'm taking that as a compliment."

"Of course that was a compliment," Marlene grinned.

And like that, the girls spent most of their afternoon outside, enjoying the fresh air, each other's company, and the idle talk. The break was welcome and saved the girls from reaching their wits' end.

In the end, the promise of the dark clouds held through, and the pouring rain drove the four giggling girls back into the castle. By then it was time for dinner so they walked into the Great Hall, their cloaks and hair damp, and took a seat at the Gryffindor table. Their dormmate Bethany was already there, and gaped at the sight of them.

"You look like you could use some hot soup," she told them, and ladled some tomato soup into bowls.

Lily accepted the offered food gratefully.

"Cheers."

"A drying charm might also be a good idea," she offered.

"It's just a little rain," Marlene waved her hand dismissively. "It'll dry."

"Alright," Bethany agreed. "How was your afternoon?"

"It was great. The break from studying was very welcome."

"I told you so," Lily grinned, and tasted the soup.

"How was your afternoon?" Gwen asked as Marlene and Mary started to pile food on their plates.

"Oh, I had a nice chat with Florence and Vickie," Bethany answered. Lily looked over to the Ravenclaw table to steal a glance of Betty's friends, but instead her eyes met Connor Matheson, the Head Boy, who gave her a solemn nod.

"I did hear something interesting from Florence, though," Bethany chirped in that tone of hers that promised gossip. Lily's gaze snapped back to her dormmate.

"Oh?"

"Apparently, Cynthia Jones asked Benjy Fenwick out. And Benjy turned her down!"

"Why?" Gwen wondered. "Has he _seen_ her legs? I mean, they're very hard to miss since they seem to be going for miles."

"You're one to talk," Marlene muttered into her mashed potatoes.

"Please, Marls, I'd kill to have your tits," Gwen retorted.

"Seconded," Lily said, reaching for her goblet, "though I really wish we weren't discussing anyone's tits over dinner."

"What I want to know is how the Ravenclaws knew gossip regarding Gryffindor students before we did." Gwen pursed her lips ponderously.

"Cynthia must have told Florence herself," Lily shrugged as she helped herself to some quiche.

"I guess. They're both prefects so they could be close."

"Oh yes, the secret sisterhood of prefects," Lily quipped dryly. "I guess now is as good time as any to confess that Adeleine Blastock is actually my best friend."

Marlene almost choked on her pumpkin juice. Mary giggled while Gwen's eyes instinctively flitted towards the Slytherin table at the opposite side of the room.

"Very funny, Lily," Marlene grumbled as soon as she had recovered.

"Aren't you friends with Emmeline Vance, though?" Betty asked Lily.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"Well, there's the great secret then," Gwen smirked. "This sisterhood of prefects only exists between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor."

"What about Hufflepuff?" Mary asked.

"Hufflepuff doesn't count," Marlene replied. "They're friends with everyone, there's no secret in _that_."

"That's a fair point," Mary conceded with a smile.

"Woah, Evans. Try to drown yourself in the lake or something?"

The girls' heads swivelled to glare at the four boys who had just appeared in the Great Hall.

Lily rolled her eyes but didn't have time to retort before her friends jumped in.

"Funny, Black," Gwen drawled coolly. "You have me in stitches."

"Why the hell are you singling Lily out anyway when all four of us were rained on?" Marlene demanded with an arched brow and a bite in her voice.

"Because he's a twat," James huffed, levelling his friend with an annoyed stare.

"Ignore him," Remus shrugged, taking a seat next to Mary. "That's what we do."

James plopped down to the free spot on Lily's right.

Sirius finally sat down at the opposite side of the table next to Betty, and glowered at Lily and James.

The bespectacled young wizard paid him no heed.

"Pass me the potatoes?" he asked conversationally, turning to Lily.

She looked at him and her lips twitched as she folded her arms across her chest.

"I don't think I heard the _magic_ word."

"Please?" James grinned.

"Here you go." Lily reached for the bowl of potatoes and then set it on the table before the marauder.

"Cheers."

"So what were you talking about before the unfortunate interruption?" Remus asked.

"The secret sisterhood of prefects," Gwen smirked.

Remus' brow quirked and he turned to Lily.

"Why wasn't I informed that we have a secret society?"

"Because it's a _sisterhood_, Remus," Lily replied with a sweet smile. "We'd love to have you, but rules are rules."

"Also," Bethany chirped, sensing her opportunity to further spread her gossip, "we were talking about how Cynthia Jones asked Benjy Fenwick out."

"Forward. I like women who aren't afraid of taking the initiative," James commented, his hazel eyes laughing.

"Benjy declined, though," Betty continued.

"What?" Sirius gaped. "Why? That bird has a great pair of legs on her – "

Marlene's fork dropped. It made such a loud clatter that Peter jumped in surprise.

"Enough about the bloody legs already!" the blonde witch snapped.

Sirius stared at her.

"Bloody hell, McKinnon, what's got your knickers in a knot?"

"Nothing," she retorted, scowling at her plate.

Sirius opened his mouth to respond but only an angry hiss escaped his lips when Gwen promptly stomped on his toes to silence him.

Peter saw the chance to change the subject into something more neutral than Cynthia Jones' legs.

"Is anyone else having trouble with the non-verbal spells?" he piped up, and then sighed in relief when murmurs of agreement broke out following his question. Peter was glad that he had managed to restore the peace; conflicts made him uncomfortable.

* * *

><p>"So did you finally decide when you want to hold the Quidditch tryouts?" Sirius asked his friend as the two exited the kitchens later that evening, their bellies full and their mood light and cheerful.<p>

"Sometime next week I think. Saturday, probably, if the pitch isn't booked."

"Saturday sounds good. It'll be big day for you, Captain! Do you want me to tag along? Moral support, y'know?"

"I think I'll be fine, Padfoot," James snorted, rolling his eyes. "What's that basket for, anyway? Didn't you eat enough already?"

"This? I got a slice of treacle tart and some hot chocolate. It's for Moony. He was looking a bit pale so I figured a little pick-me-up might do him good."

"Good thinking, Padfoot." James grinned. "Moony'll appreciate it. He's probably just stressed, only a few days left before, you know…"

"Wednesday, yeah?"

James nodded.

"Need to remind Peter," Sirius muttered to himself.

"Alright," James spoke briskly. "We still have some time before curfew, but better be safe, right?"

Sirius grinned. James stopped walking and fished a blank piece of parchment from his sleeve, then pulled out his wand.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Thin lines of ink appeared on the spot his wand touched, spreading out across the parchment to form a map. Sirius peered at it over his friend's shoulder.

"Looks like our way's clear," James decided after a quick glance.

"Ooh look who's skulking about in the dungeons!" Sirius cackled gleefully and jabbed at a moving dot labelled _Severus Snape_. "Fancy a detour?"

James felt his lips twitch into an answering grin, when suddenly he recalled the stricken expression that had flashed on Lily Evans' face at the Hogsmeade platform four days ago. Even the memory of it made his gut twist painfully, and the beginnings of his cheerful smile turned into a frown.

"Nah," he replied after a moment, both his voice and his expression glum. "I'll pass. You can go if you want to."

Sirius' eyebrow rose and he gave his friend a long stare.

"Since when have you ever _passed_ on the opportunity to hex Snivellus?" he demanded incredulously.

"Since I realised that hexing him hurt other people," James retorted. He wiped the map clean and shoved it back into his sleeve.

"Hurt Evans, you mean," Sirius spat, his voice sharp.

James stayed silent. His shoulders were tense and he crossed his arms, glaring at his friend out of the corner of his eye.

"Do you really think she's gonna give a crap anymore? Evans and Snape are over."

"Yeah, because of what happened the last time we decided to have fun at Snape's expense!"

"No, you stubborn git," Sirius hissed, gritting his teeth. "Because Evans finally realised what a pathetic little creep Snivellus is!"

James didn't reply.

Sirius scowled at him and took in his dark expression, the grim line of his lips, the clench of his jaw, the stiffness of his neck, his balled fists.

"Fine." Sirius finally relented with a sigh. He was clearly not going to win this battle; there was no convincing James, pig-headed as he was.

"We'll leave Snivellus alone."

* * *

><p>On Monday evening, as he and Lily were walking down the corridors and staircases, heading to a prefect meeting, Remus broke the companionable silence by clearing his throat.<p>

"I'm not sure if I should tell you this," he began, his tone slightly hesitant, "but since I was not sworn to secrecy and it involves you, I thought you deserved to know."

Lily quirked her brow and her lips twitched.

"Well you have to tell me now, after just saying all that to spark my intrigue."

"James has decided to give up on asking you out, since you hate him so much."

Lily frowned. Remus' statement left her with mixed feelings. While she was mostly relieved, a part of her felt slightly disappointed. James Potter's obvious interest in her had been unwanted, but nonetheless quite flattering.

There was, however, one great flaw in his logic, which she felt obligated to point out.

"I don't hate Potter," she told Remus. "Never did. Well… Okay, maybe for a while in second year because he kept pranking me on a weekly basis, but it's not like I never retaliated…"

"Yeah well, I suppose we can all be excused for how we used to behave when we were twelve," Remus replied, smiling benignly.

"I'm not a great fan of Potter, I confess," Lily said. "But 'hate' is too strong a word. If anything, I hate the way he _behaves _sometimes, you know?"

Remus hummed in agreement.

"I mean he can be a right bully, and he is just so sickeningly _obnoxious_ sometimes… But it's not like that's all there is to him. He is also quite brilliant in most of our classes, and he can be very funny, too." Lily paused, then glanced at Remus. "I trust you not to relay this to him, though. He'd only get his hopes up."

"He probably would." Remus agreed.

"Well, I suppose it's a good thing he's giving up," Lily sighed, a light frown still creasing her brow. "I didn't enjoy always having to reject him."

"Well, I'm sure you enjoyed it _some_ of the time," Remus said with a sly grin. "I remember some very snarky come-backs, I'm sure you put a lot of thought into them."

"Yeah… But he would always just grin and act like he didn't care, but I think he must have. Rejection always hurts."

"So why didn't you just go out with him?"

Lily pursed her lip and absent-mindedly ran her hand through her dark red hair.

"He's not bad-looking," she started ponderously. "He's funny and rather brilliant and he has his own kind of charm. _But_ like I said, he can also be annoying and mean and just obnoxious. The good I can see in him doesn't cancel the bad aspects of his behaviour. And I know going out on a date doesn't mean you're committing in a relationship but I just felt… I don't know, that if I agreed to go on just one date with him because I felt sorry for him or to get him off my back, it wouldn't be fair to him. Rejection hurts, but it's infinitely better than false hope or pity."

"I'm a bit surprised you've put so much thought in this whole matter," Remus confessed quietly.

"If they're serious in asking me out, they deserve to be taken seriously," Lily shrugged.

James had been smirking in that crooked manner of his each time he had asked her out. He had tried to be cool, always tried to radiate confidence, charisma and casualness. But Lily could tell that he was being serious, that he really wanted to take her out on a date. She had spotted the disappointed flicker in his hazel eyes he had tried to hide. She had noticed that after each time she had turned down his offer, it had taken him longer and longer to ask her out again. There were times her heart went out to him, but still she couldn't really bring herself to _like_ him.

"To be frank, out of you four, it's Sirius that I like the least. Potter might get on my nerves from time to time, but at least he likes me."

Remus grimaced. Sirius was neutral towards Lily on a good day, horribly rude on a bad one.

"I've tried telling him several times that you're not so bad but he refuses to listen."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me."

"I don't think all his dislike stems from you, though. I think in part it's 'cause he's jealous."

"Jealous?" Lily echoed, incredulous. "Of _me_?"

Remus nodded. "Of all the attention James gives you," he clarified. "I think he feels threatened, like he's afraid that if you and James ever did get together, he'd be cast aside."

Lily stared at Remus, her bright green eyes sceptical.

"That may well be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard."

"Our fears never are rational," Remus said mildly, and shrugged.

The two rounded the corner. The door of the empty classroom assigned for the prefect meetings was already open, and Lily and Remus walked right in. They seemed to be rather early, only a few prefects were in attendance. The Slytherins in their year gave the two of them a long stare, and Avery sneered while Adeleine Blastock sniffed. Lily promptly ignored the both of them, and instead walked over to the front of the room to greet the Head Girl.

"Alice, you should have warned me that N.E.W.T. lessons would be the death of me," she grumbled to her friend, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Suck it up and persevere," Alice laughed. "Seventh year is going to be even worse."

"Oh joy," Lily rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the empathy."

"I'd be more empathetic if I actually believed the N.E.W.T. lessons to be the death of you."

"She's right," the Head Boy, Connor Matheson chimed in. "You'll be fine, Lily. More than fine, I imagine. You really are a brilliant witch, enough so to put some of my housemates to shame."

The compliment was surprising but nonetheless welcome, so Lily flashed the Ravenclaw a delighted smile.

"Thank you, Connor."

The Head Boy returned the smile.

"Go take a seat," he suggested. "We're starting soon."

Lily nodded and went back to Remus. The room had filled out while she had been chatting with the Head students. She gave a small wave to Emmeline Vance at the other side of the room.

A few more prefects filed into the room and then Connor called the meeting to order.

"The first order of business," Alice said briskly, "are the patrol schedules from this week onwards. I have a list here I'm going to hand out. Please fill out the times and dates you are unavailable for patrols, so Connor and I can work out the schedule."

"Wednesday's not good," Lily muttered to Remus when the list reached them. "I have a Slug Club meeting."

"Alright," the marauder replied with a curt nod, filling out their information on the parchment. He glanced at the witch out of the corner of his eye.

"What's put you in such a good mood, anyway?" he asked, unable to contain his curiosity.

"Connor Matheson of all people," Lily grinned. "He told me I put some Ravenclaws to shame."

"Well… you do," Remus commented, raising his eyebrow.

"I know, but it was awfully nice of him to say it."

Remus laughed and passed the list forward. Then, both still smirking, the two Gryffindors quieted down and turned their focus back onto the meeting.

* * *

><p>It was Tuesday evening, and Lily was feeling determined though exhausted. Tuesdays and Thursdays were the longest days on her schedule, and today had been a full day of classes; from nine to four. Lily had already learned to utilise her free periods for studying, but as she had had none today it meant that all of her homework was still waiting.<p>

So after a quick dinner, she had rushed to hole up in the library together with Mary in order to get some studying done. She wanted to get started on her homework as early as she could, else it would pile up until she'd be crushed under the mountain of work she should have got done yesterday. Marlene was already discovering that her earlier strategy of postponing things until she absolutely had to tackle them was not working out too well for her.

In her mind, Lily equated N.E.W.T. level work to the hydras of Greek mythology. Trying to stay on top of her classes was much like fighting one – any time she finished and turned in one essay, two more would be assigned.

It hadn't been even a full week yet and Marlene was already convinced she would die of overexertion, while Gwen had taken to swearing in Welsh. Mary was no stranger to hard work, and seemed to have resigned to her fate.

Lily made the final revisions to her translation for Ancient Runes and then leaned back in her chair and stretched. She rolled her shoulders and glanced at Mary. The brunette witch across the table was worrying her lip while reading _Advanced Potions_. Lily smiled a little and then looked at her notes. They had Defence again tomorrow, she should probably read up on curses.

"Going to get a book," she told Mary and then got up and headed towards the section with the Defence Against the Dark Arts books.

Walking felt wonderful after spending two hours perched on the hard wood of her chair. Lily could barely feel her arse. Along with the cosy atmosphere, the plush and comfortable armchairs were one big reason why she preferred to study in the Gryffindor Common Room.

Finally Lily found the right row and slipped between the shelves. She ran her fingers along the leather spines as she slowly walked, her head tilted to the side so she could better read the titles.

"Curses, curses..." she muttered under her breath, skimming over the books. "A-ha!"

She pulled _A Compendium of Common Curses and Their Counter-Actions _off the shelf and flipped it over, about to read the back cover, when a familiar voice called her name.

Lily's heart plummeted all the way to the pit of her stomach and her shoulders tensed. Hugging the book close to her chest, she slowly turned around to face the black-haired, hook-nosed boy.


	5. Chapter 4 - Friends And Foes

_You don't have to say you're sorry_

_Save your sympathy_

_With a friend like you_

_I don't need an enemy_

**- Simple Plan: **Last One Standing

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Four - Friends And Foes<span>

Lily stared at the pale boy, her stomach heavy and twisting into knots.

"What do you want?" she asked, her eyes hard and guarded.

"We need to talk," the boy implored.

"Do we?" Lily countered. "I think we've already said all there is to say."

"Lily, please."

"Then talk," she relented, her voice clipped and tight.

"I'm sorry about last year. You know I didn't mean for it to happen!"

"You've told me all this before."

"But Lily, you have to forgive me! I will do anything –"

"First," she cut in, her green eyes blazing, "I don't _have to_ do anything. Second, if this is about you calling me a mudblood –"

The sallow boy flinched.

"– then I've already forgiven you."

He gaped at her, hope starting to glimmer in his dark eyes.

"So then," he said, his voice eager, "we can go back to how we used to be."

"No," Lily spoke, unyielding. "We can never go back. My forgiveness does not change anything, Severus. This is about more than you insulting me to my face."

The boy's shoulders sagged. His face had grown even paler and bore a stricken expression.

"You chose your path long ago," she told him firmly. "And I will never be able to forgive you for becoming a Death Eater."

And with that, Lily Evans whirled around and walked away.

* * *

><p>James stifled a yawn and rubbed his eyes but they remained bleary.<p>

"You've got dirt on your cheek," Marlene McKinnon informed him helpfully from across the table littered with compost and flowerpots.

James grunted. He had chosen to sit with the girls today, since Peter wasn't taking Herbology, Remus was still indisposed after last night's full moon, and Sirius was skipping the lesson, as James had been unable to drag his snoring arse out of the bed.

"Are…Are you all right?" Mary MacDonald asked in a soft voice, worry shining in her eyes.

"You do look a bit peaky," Marlene agreed.

"I'm fine," he told the girls, cracking another yawn. "Didn't really get much sleep last night."

"Bad dreams keep you up?" Marlene snorted.

"Nah, there was just a bit of marauding about," he lied easily, ruffling his hair.

"Ah, I suppose that also accounts for Sirius' and Remus' absence?" Malene guessed.

"Yup. We had an exploding snap tournament and the stakes were high. Kept us up well into the wee hours."

"Sounds fun." Marlene grinned.

"It was," James agreed. "Until Remus had to go to the Hospital Wing. He lost, and whatever was in the drink Sirius mixed for him as a punishment didn't agree with him. I almost overslept this morning so I didn't have the time to check up on him, but he must still be there since he didn't come to the lesson."

"Poor Remus," Mary sighed.

"What about Sirius, then?" Marlene asked.

"He was finally defeated by Peter, so he got his just desserts. I tried to wake him up before I left the dorm but he refused to budge."

"His loss." Marlene shrugged.

James nodded. He felt a bit more awake now thanks to the conversation, and he was proud of himself. Tired as he was, he had been able to come up with such a good story on the spot to explain away his friends' absence. None of the girls looked the least bit suspicious. Not even Lily.

James allowed his gaze to wander across the table where Lily was listlessly jabbing at the dirt in her pot. He suddenly realised with a jolt that she hadn't been taking part in the conversation at all; then he noticed the downward turn of her lips. James frowned. Now that he thought about it, Lily had been acting weird yesterday, too. He briefly wondered what could have happened, and he almost wanted to ask her.

He turned to give Marlene a pointed look – one eyebrow raised and all – but she silently shook her head.

His jaw clenched, he fumbled with the pot, tossing in handfuls of dirt before handing it over to Marlene, who forcefully shoved the struggling plant into the pot. On the other side of the table, Lily was swearing under her breath as she and Mary fought to plant their sapling together, wary of its venomous fangs.

Maybe it was for the better that Evans didn't seem very approachable, James decided with a yawn. She still was a bit of a sore subject to him, and he really didn't have the energy today to deal with her or the rampant feelings he was trying his hardest to smother. It wasn't just that he was physically exhausted, even though running around all night long in his animagus form always took its toll. He felt completely drained mentally as well. He had seen Remus transform a dozen times by now, but the gruelling ordeal never became any easier to witness. It made him angry that someone as kind and good as Remus had such a cross to bear.

After the lesson, James made his way to the castle and the Gryffindor Tower alone. He had a free period before lunch, and weighed the pros and cons of a nap in his mind, as he shuffled through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor Common Room. But then, he noticed Gwen Douglas reading a magazine on the sofa, and instead of his inviting bed up in the dormitory, he made his way to her.

"_Quidditch Quarterly_?"

Gwen looked up.

"Yeah, the new issue. Have you read it?" she asked.

"I've leafed through," James grunted as he sunk into the sofa next to her. "Haven't had the time yet to read it properly. But that reminds me; I'm holding the tryouts this Saturday, at noon. I want the whole team to be there."

"Aye, aye, cap'n," she replied dutifully. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good." James nodded and flashed her a quick, weary smile.

"I hear Glen Abbott was made captain of the Hufflepuff team, that was a bit surprising."

"I don't know. I mean, I suppose he is younger than the other captains, being a fifth year student. But he's got a good head on his shoulders."

"True," Gwen agreed. "And one should never underestimate Hufflepuffs."

"Learned that lesson the hard way," James grumbled, still bitter over a match lost three years ago.

"I hope we'll be able to find a Chaser that is a good fit with you and me," Gwen said.

"Me too, but what we really need is a stellar Seeker." James frowned. "Slytherin has Black and he has a good eye for the game. And Ravenclaw's got Watson."

"That girl has got some wicked moves on her." Gwen shook her head.

"She has an exceptional control of the broom," James agreed. "And we need someone who can keep up with her, and Black."

Gwen patted his shoulder.

"Good luck."

"I don't need luck," James countered, a grin touching his lips. "I need talent."

"True, but even so a little luck won't hurt," Gwen smirked. "By the way, you have dirt on your cheek."

James laughed.

* * *

><p>Betty had scarcely rushed off to her Astronomy lesson, when Marlene shook the peaceful Friday night in the Gryffindor girls' dormitory by hopping off her bed and making a big announcement.<p>

"Ladies! I suggest that tonight, we will engage in a game of Truth or Dare!"

Marlene's eyes were sparkling with mischief and enthusiasm, and her wide grin filled Lily with apprehension.

Gwen groaned.

"Truth or Dare? _Really_, Marlene? What are we, twelve?"

"Well, maybe more like Truth or Truth," Marlene said. "Anyway! It may sound lame, but fear not ladies, I happen to have something that will put a real _spin_ on things."

Smirking victoriously, Marlene pulled a small vial out of her pocket.

Mary was confused and Gwen's stare was blank, but Lily let out a small gasp.

"Marlene," she said slowly, trying to keep her voice calm. "Please don't tell me that is what I think it is."

The blonde witch nodded eagerly, and Lily couldn't hold back her groan.

"What is it?" Gwen asked, instantly curious.

"Illegal, that's what it is," Lily muttered, obviously exasperated with her friend. "Where did you even get that? It was on the curriculum just this week but you're not taking advanced potions!"

"I have my sources." Marlene grinned.

"Veritaserum," Mary gasped in sudden realisation, her mouth hanging open.

"Are you sure it's safe?" Gwen asked, sceptical.

"Yup, it was nicked from Lily's cauldron."

Lily's eyes narrowed and her lips twisted into an indignant pout.

Gwen was slowly starting to mirror Marlene's wide, wicked grin.

"You have my attention," she told her.

Mary looked back at forth between the two smirking girls, before letting out a small laugh.

"I'm in! Let's play Truth, The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth."

"Well done, Mary, that's a lot better name that 'Truth or Truth'," Gwen giggled as Marlene rolled her eyes.

Three heads turned to stare at a certain, scowling red-haired prefect.

"Come on, Lily," Marlene coaxed.

"You know you want to," Gwen added.

Mary was smiling encouragingly at her.

Lily fought to keep her face stern, but the corners of her lips had begun to twitch.

Soon enough, everyone was sitting on Marlene's bed, holding a glass of water. Everyone had unanimously agreed that Lily was the most trustworthy out of them, so it was she who carefully measured two drops of the seemingly unassuming, clear, odourless potion into each glass.

"On the count of three," Lily murmured as she picked up her own glass. "One…Two…Three."

Simultaneously all four witches raised the glasses to their lips and downed the drinks in one quick gulp, as if the potent truth serum was no more than a shot of firewhisky.

Immediately, Lily felt a pleasant haze bubbling in her mind, like her head had been securely wrapped in a thick warm quilt. She felt relaxed, and smiled as she looked at her friends who seemed to be similarly affected.

"Okay," Marlene said. "Let's try and see if this works. Gwen, what colour are your knickers?"

"Black."

Marlene leaned over, pulled at the waistband of Gwen's pyjama bottoms, and peered in, ignoring the indignant "_Oi!"_

"Yup," she declared, "black it is."

"I would have shown you if you'd asked," Gwen muttered, glaring at Marlene.

"All right, let's get started then," Lily said, nipping the argument in the bud. "Mary, do you want to start?"

"Umm… Okay, what is the worst flavour you've ever got from Bertie Bott's every flavour Beans?"

"Eurgh," Lily grimaced. "Sea buckthorn berry."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Gwen frowned. "Mine was rotten egg. Haven't really eaten Bertie Bott's since."

"It would sound bad if you had ever tasted sea buckthorn," Lily quipped.

"I got blood once, that was weird," Marlene said. "But the very worst for me was soap."

"Soap?"

"Ugh."

"My turn," Marlene said. "Mary, what would you do if you had an invisibility cloak for a day?"

Mary bit her lip and her cheeks flushed.

"I would probably spy on people," she admitted. "Also I'm kind of curious to see what other House's common rooms look like, so I would try to sneak in."

"Go, Mary!" Gwen laughed.

"Ask away then."

"Eh, I don't really have any particular question so I'm just going with the classic one, sorry Lily. Marauders, shag, marry, kill?"

"Kill Sirius," Lily replied instantly. "And marry Remus. So that leaves me with James to shag."

"No love for Peter?" Gwen teased.

"Peter is a sweetheart, but James is definitely more attractive out of the two. At least as long as he keeps his mouth shut. Although… I guess I could gag him."

"Lily!"

"You _could_ gag him," Marlene snickered. "I mean this is James, he would probably be all up for being tied down to the bed if that meant he could shag you."

"All right, that's quite enough theorising on that front," Lily decided, waving away the unwanted mental image. "Gwen, from now on, if you could only follow one Quidditch league, which one would it be?"

"Oh god," Gwen wailed. "You're evil. I think I have to go with the nationals, as entertaining as the world cup is, I love Harpies too much to give them up."

"You're such a fan."

"They're women and they're Welsh, what's not to love?" Gwen shrugged. "All right, since you opened the door for hard questions… Lily, I'm sorry to bring this up but I am curious. Was there ever anything between you and Snape?"

Thankfully, the relaxation coaxed by the potion muffled the instinctive emotional responses that usually stirred whenever Snape was brought up. Lily was able to remain calm, and a small crease appeared on her forehead.

"No," she answered. "There never was anything between us – though there was a time I thought there could be. It was before fifth year and we spent most of the summer together, and we just felt so comfortable in each other's company that for a while I kept entertaining the idea… But then school started and he went back to his friends. Nothing really was quite the same after that."

"Awww."

"For the record, I'm glad things never got to that point between you two."

"I know, Marlene. You never liked Sev – Snape. But actually that made me think of a question for you! If you had to date any of the Slytherins in our year, who would it be?"

"Nice one, Lily!" Gwen laughed. "Ooh, think of all the lovely prospects, like Avery!"

"Gah!" Marlene was making a face. "Avery is a horrid person, Snape is a slime-ball. Sedgewick is bloody scary and never really even talks…Well I guess I'll have to go with Curtis Greengrass, he's an uptight git, but out of the bad choices…"

"Greengrass at least has brains," Lily hummed.

"And the Quidditch muscles," Gwen pointed out.

"And he has exceptionally great hair," Mary giggled.

"Right! Well then, Lily!"

"Why does everyone keep asking me?" she complained.

"Out of spite," Gwen helpfully supplied, a grin playing on her lips. "Because you keep asking us such annoying questions."

"Who was your first kiss?" Marlene asked, leaning forward in her enthusiasm.

"Way to waste a question, Marlene," Gwen complained beside her, "we all know it was Bertram Aubrey in fourth year."

But Lily had blanched just a little, she had frozen still, because her first kiss had not been with Bertram, because she had never told anyone – even Mary – about her actual first kiss, because her first kiss had really been with –

"Marcus, at the end of third year," Lily finally blurted out, her shoulders hunching in defeat.

Gwen had fallen silent mid-complaint, and Marlene's jaw had dropped.

"Marcus?" the shocked blonde witch echoed after a moment of awkward silence. "_My_ Marcus? You _kissed_ my _brother_?"

Lily nodded, avoiding Marlene's eyes. The awkward silence continued, though the corners of Gwen's lips kept twitching as she glanced back and forth between her two friends. Mary looked surprised at the revelation, but her kind brown eyes held no judgement.

"Ewwwww!" Marlene finally burst, "My best friend and my _brother_, ewww! Why would you ever kiss Marcus?"

Lily shrugged.

"I had a crush on him," she simply explained.

"On _Marcus_?"

"Marlene, your brother is quite popular," Gwen supplied, coming to Lily's aid.

Mary stayed silent, but nodded her assent.

"Oh, ewww, not you too!"

Lily burst into a fit of giggles. The laughter was contagious, and soon enough, all four girls were giggling, rolling on the floor and clutching their sides.

* * *

><p>"Potter."<p>

"Evans!" his thin lips curled into a crooked smile. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I'm just here to let you know that I would appreciate you refraining from any potion-stealing in the future."

The smile flickered out and a carefully blank expression settled over Potter's features.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about," the boy replied in a polite neutral tone.

Lily's green eyes flashed.

"How thick do you think I am, Potter?"

"I don't think you're thick at all," he hurriedly answered. "Actually, I think you're exceedingly bright."

"Well, good, I'm glad that we agree at least on that," she retorted dryly. "See, Marlene as good as told me that the Veritaserum in her possession was nicked from _my_ cauldron. The thing is, though, that Marlene doesn't even take Potions."

James blinked at her.

"And the person in the best position to steal a potion I had brewed would be one with whom I share a table. Now, Mary is too sweet to indulge in thievery. And while Remus wouldn't necessarily be above such shenanigans, I think he has better sense than to give a legally controlled substance to _Marlene _of all people. And that leaves me with you."

She crossed her arms across her chest.

"That is some impressive reasoning there, Evans," Potter replied amicably. "But I'm afraid I can neither confirm nor deny –"

"I _know_ it was you," she cut in, pinning him down with her stare. "And I'm not mad or anything. I'm not here to yell at you, and I'm not going to run and tattle to all the teachers. I just want you to promise me that it won't happen again."

Potter studied her, his lips pursed. Lily could almost hear the cogs in his head turn.

"Well I can promise you," he started carefully, "that if I ever discover the scoundrel who stole your potion I'll be sure to pass your message along."

Lily rolled her eyes. If he wanted to cling to his silly little charade, so be it.

"Fine," she said, "thank you _ever_ so much for your co-operation."

"Any time," he grinned at her, completely unaffected by her biting sarcasm.

Lily turned away but then she paused and bit her lip.

She glanced back over her shoulder.

His laughing hazel eyes were still trained on her.

The words danced on the tip of her tongue, and she chose to voice them.

"Good luck."

His eyebrows shot up, his head tilted to the side in confusion.

"For the Quidditch try-outs?" she clarified. "They're today, aren't they?"

"Oh yeah. Right. Thanks." A sheepish look flashed in his eyes and his hand flew to his messy mop of hair.

"Just put a good team together," she told him, her lips twitching. "I'm rather fond of winning, you know?"

"Fear not, Evans," he smirked at her, his eyes glinting behind his glasses. "So am I."

Lily flashed him a smile and walked away.

* * *

><p>She signed the letter with <em>Love, Lily<em> and then leaned back on her bed, twirling the quill in her hand as she read through what she had written once more. It was just a quick thing, informing her parents that she had got to school ok and recounting her first week back, but Lily was very particular about her proofreading ever since the Horrible Misspell of 1972.

With a soft _mrowr_, Augustus jumped on her bed and walked over, curling right over the parchment she had been reading, and Lily crossed her arms across her chest and glared at the unconcerned feline.

"I was reading that, you know."

"You're talking to your cat again?" Marlene asked.

"All pet owners talk to their pets," Lily told her friend. "Besides, he knew I was still reading the letter and he decided to park his furry little bum right on top of it regardless!"

"That's where you're wrong," Marlene snorted. "See, he's a cat. He parked his furry little bum right on top of it _because_ you were reading it."

Lily's eyes narrowed.

"I suppose he would, the git," Lily said. She picked up her cat and deposited him in her lap. Augustus gave an indignant meow but Lily ignored him and concentrated on her letter again.

She had almost managed to finish her reading, still twirling her quill while Augustus was lazily trying to swat at it, when Gwen burst into the dormitory.

"How did it go?" Marlene asked and Lily looked up from her letter.

"We got ourselves a Chaser and a Seeker," she grinned.

"That's brill," Lily said dryly. "Care to give us any more details than that?"

"They're both female and fourth years. Holly Willoughby and Kimberly Wu."

"Willoughby?" Lily frowned. "Does that mean she's – "

"Yup," Gwen replied. "One of those muggleborn twins. She and Wu are friends, I think Willoughby wanted to try out and dragged Wu with her. And boy am I glad she did, because that girl has the makings of a great seeker!"

"That's nice," Lily smiles.

"It is. I can't wait for the practices to start."

"Hey, this also means you're no longer the only girl on the team," Marlene realised. "Congrats!"

"Thanks, I really wouldn't want to turn out like Talkalot."

"You know with Slytherins often going for the big and burly types, I'm surprised they even have Talkalot on the team, let alone as their captain."

"Well brawn can only get you so far."

"I fully agree that intelligence wins over brute strength, but if we're talking about Talkalot, she has more brawn than she has brains."

"Lily's right, Talkalot is a troll."

"Fine," Gwen rolled her eyes. "Talkalot isn't the brightest, but she's not that stupid either, Marlene."

"I wasn't referring to her brains, I was talking about her face."

"You are horrible!"

"Maybe, but you're the one who's laughing, Lily."

"Touché," Lily shook her head. "Now, as much as I'd love to stay and hear you bad mouthing Slytherins – "

"As if you weren't participating in the badmouthing," Marlene grumbled.

"– I have a letter to post. And Marls, I'm borrowing your owl."

"Sure."

Lily rolled up the parchment and scribbled the address on it, before stuffing the letter into her pocket. She petted Augustus on the head and then got up and left the room.

Mary was sitting in the Common Room and Lily gave her a small wave as she made a beeline for the portrait hole, but her friend was too busy frowning at her Transfiguration textbook to notice. Lily smiled to herself and stepped out to the corridor.

Lily didn't see many people as she made her way to the Owlery, but since it was late Saturday afternoon, that was only to be expected. Most people would be hanging out in their Common Rooms or perhaps holing up in the library to get some studying done. Lily had some studying to do herself, a couple of translations for Ancient Runes due Monday, but she just couldn't be arsed to get cracking on that today. She had better things to do. Like indulging herself. Writing a letter home. Devouring that potions book Slughorn had lent her out of his personal collection.

That book had made the Slug Club meeting on Wednesday evening worth attending. It had been a tedious affair, with Slughorn trying to catch up with everyone after the summer break. The only other Gryffindor there had been McLaggen, the pompous prick, with whom Lily wanted nothing to do with.

Normally, Lily would have chatted with Andrew Buchanan, a Ravenclaw boy who was in her year and a genius in Ancient Runes, or maybe Dorothy MacMillan from Hufflepuff. But that night, she hadn't much felt like socialising, and it hadn't improved her mood one bit that Slytherin's very own Irene Selwyn hadn't wasted any opportunity to toss disdainful glares into her direction. The food had been great, though Lily hadn't been able to fully enjoy that either; she had been too busy mulling over how Snape had accosted her the day before.

How dare he? She had made perfectly clear that they were _done_. It had not been easy, but she had let go. Why couldn't he do the same for her?

Frowning and deep in thought, Lily opened the door to the Owlery and walked straight into something solid.

"I'm sorry," she said, taking a step back to find the Head Boy smiling at her.

"Hi, Lily," he greeted her jovially.

"Hey Connor," she said, returning his smile.

He stepped aside and motioned for Lily to step in. She nodded at him gratefully and walked into the circular, drafty room, her feet scuffing at the straw-covered floor, and turned to scan the perches for Marlene's owl.

"Marvin, I have a letter for you to deliver," she called out to the bird. Marvin ruffled his feathers but flew down, sitting still while Lily tied her letter to his foot.

"You have a handsome owl."

Lily's head whipped to look over her shoulder. She thought Connor would have left already, since he had been heading out when she had come barrelling in.

"He is handsome," Lily agreed, "but he's actually my friend's."

Connor walked over and fished an owl treat from his pocket. He offered it to Marvin who snatched it and then spread his wings and took off.

"Thanks, should have thought of bringing some treats myself," Lily said, impressed by the generous gesture.

"No worries," Connor said, "I have plenty."

"Your owl must be delighted then."

"He is, and well-fed," Connor laughed.

"I have a cat," Lily told him. "Easier to explain to the neighbours, you know."

"Ah, right." Connor nodded. "Because of the Muggles."

"Yup."

"Well, if you ever need to send a letter and can't use your friend's owl, you're free to borrow mine."

Lily blinked, taken aback by the offer.

"Thank you," she smiled, "that's very kind of you."

"So it's almost time for dinner, are you heading down to the Great Hall?"

"Yes," Lily said. She had been planning to go back to her dorm, but now that Connor mentioned dinner, she was starting to feel a bit hungry.

"Me too." Connor grinned. "We can walk down together then."

"Sure," Lily agreed.

"Ladies first," he said courteously, gesturing at the door.

Lily shook her head, but couldn't help the smile that touched her lips.

* * *

><p>"Ah, Severus, there you are," a silky voice spoke the moment he stepped into the Common Room.<p>

Snape looked up, to see his friends lounging on the sleek green sofa and a pair of armchairs.

"What is it?" he asked, disquieted by their stares.

"We just heard something very disconcerting from Valerie Travers. She said she was in the library the other night and overheard you talking to a certain Gryffindor mudblood."

Severus grew very still, his face becoming stone as he stared back at Rosier, Avery and Mulciber.

"We're worried, Severus," Avery spoke. "We thought you had outgrown that foolishness."

"I have," Snape said coldly.

"I wonder," Rosier intoned, unconvinced.

"I'm not sure we can really believe you," Mulciber spat.

"Not until you prove yourself, anyway," Rosier smiled.

"Is that really necessary, Evan?"

The men turned to the girl who had spoken. Adeleine Blastock stood to the side and frowned at them, a silver and green Prefect's badge gleaming on the front of her robes.

"I'm sure Severus has learned his lesson," the girl continued. "He'll steer clear from Evans from now on."

"Yes," Snape bit out tonelessly. "I won't approach her again."

"So you say," Avery said. "We're just asking you to show us."

"We need to know where your loyalties lie," Mulciber growled.

"With you," Snape insisted, his dark eyes flashing.

"Good," Rosier said, a cruel smirk playing on his lips. "Then you won't mind proving that to us."

Snape's jaw clenched.

"This is not a good idea," Adeleine scoffed. "That mudblood is the teachers' pet. Everyone loves her. If you go through with this, you'll get in trouble."

"The only one in trouble will be you, if you don't shut up," Mulciber snarled, earning a quick glare from Rosier.

"Yeah, we don't remember asking for your opinion," Avery added. "And while you're at it, you should stop defending the mudblood."

"I'm _not_," Adeleine hissed, her hands balling into fists. "I'm trying to look out for you guys!"

"I appreciate your input, love," Rosier said, promptly ending the argument, "but this doesn't concern you, Adeleine."

She stared at them hard, her hands still clenched at her sides, but in the end she bowed her head and walked away from the young men.

"Now, Severus," Avery purred, "here's what we had in mind…"


	6. Chapter 5 - Fight or Flight

_Where did I go wrong?_

_I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along_

_In the bitterness_

**- The Fray: **How To Save A Life

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Five – Fight or Flight<span>

The flock of owls arrived, bringing the post like every morning, hooting softly and gliding on soft, soundless wings, swooping down to find the awaiting recipients. There were a lot of them, as always. Parents worried as they were wont to do, and wanted to keep in regular contact.

Lily set down her tea and scanned the crowd of birds, but could not see any sign of Marlene's owl. He must have been still on his way, or waiting for the reply from Lily's mother.

The mood in the great hall was glum, the students' voices hushed, their faces pale and worried. It went beyond the typical Monday melancholy. Even the usually cheerful Hufflepuffs seemed dejected.

Lily spied the Head Girl, Alice Morgan, sitting next to a second year student, her arm gently wrapped around the small girl's shaking shoulders.

"She's crying," Lily noted aloud, taken aback by the sight.

Bethany looked up and followed Lily's gaze to the Hufflepuff table.

"I guess she was friends with Bonnie Ingram," she said, heaving a small sigh. "Poor thing."

"Bonnie Ingram?" Lily repeated with a frown.

"Didn't you hear? She left the school last night. Her parents pulled her out."

"Because of the attack yesterday?" Mary asked in a soft voice.

Lily glanced down the table where Marcus McKinnon and Benjy Fenwick were sitting with their heads bent together, reading the morning's _Prophet_. She couldn't tear her gaze away from the front page and its grim headline, reporting there had been an attack in Kent yesterday afternoon that had claimed three lives. _Death Eater involvement suspected_, the bold print read.

"Yes." Bethany glanced around and then continued, her voice dropping to a whisper. "Bonnie's older sister Colleen worked in the store they attacked."

Mary gasped. "Oh god, is she…?"

Bethany shook her head, the movement small, tight, and full of sorrow.

"That's terrible," Gwen breathed. Her brow was creased and Lily guessed she was thinking of her Muggle mother back in Wales, wishing she was safe.

Mary turned her head. Her expression was forlorn, reflecting the concern and uncertainty Lily was all too familiar with. It weighed heavily on her chest even now, it shone in her green eyes as she shared a long look with Mary. They did not need to say anything, they could guess well enough what the other was thinking about – what their standing would be as two Muggleborn witches in a world that was torn by blood politics, whether the war would keep getting worse… If two years from now, somewhere out there, it'd be one of them dying at the Death Eater's hands instead of poor Colleen Ingram.

Lily stared down at her plate of toast and scrambled eggs. Her stomach lurched, the heavy knot in her gut tightening. She pushed the plate away and leaned back in her seat, gazing up at the dark clouds slowly rolling across the charmed ceiling.

She hated it, the atmosphere of fear and doubt. The attacks and the disappearances, the violence and the death. These were not things she wanted to read about.

She was a sixteen year old girl. She should not have to worry about a group of mad extremists that wanted people like her dead.

But she did, every day.

It did not always steal her sleep or appetite, it did not always cripple her and make her insides twist in cold resignation. It did not always surface and fill her with hopelessness and insecurity.

But it was there, _always_ there, at the back of her mind, biding its time.

* * *

><p>Steady rain rhythmically drummed against the castle windows, and the world outside was grey and gloomy although it was barely midday. The sixth year boys' dormitory up in Gryffindor tower was quiet even though it housed all four Marauders inside. The hushed lull of the room was only punctuated by the scratching of a quill, rustling of paper and parchment and the occasional grunt, sigh or puff.<p>

Sirius lounged on his bed, leafing through his Muggle Studies textbook and lazily copying down a line every now and then. He had been putting off writing his essay for as long as he could, but as it was due in three or so hours, he had finally decided to get cracking.

Peter was sprawled on the floor, surrounded by sheets of parchment and nervously chewing on his quill as he hastily copied Remus' and James' notes of their earlier Transfiguration lesson.

Remus sat in the middle of his bed, frowning in concentration as he tried to perform the Bird Conjuring Charm McGonagall had introduced them to just that morning. His cheeks were puffed and face reddening as he struggled with the non-verbal casting.

James occupied his own bed, comfily propped up by a pile of pillows including one he'd borrowed from Peter. A heavy book was propped open in his lap and his hazel eyes quickly skimmed through the lines, absorbing everything he could as his hand absently mussed his hair. Though, unlike his friends, James wasn't immersing himself in schoolwork. The volume holding his rapt attention was in fact _Quidditch Through The Ages_. Still, he wasn't reading it for leisure; the first Quidditch practice of the season – also the very first with him as the captain – was scheduled at seven the day after tomorrow. Though James wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, he felt nervous. Responsibility was not his strong suit, but all of a sudden it had been heaped on his shoulders, together with the hopes and dreams of his Housemates. Gryffindor couldn't afford to lose the Cup, not on his watch.

Rain continued to patter against the windows. Peter's quill scratched feverishly against the parchment, James muttered under his breath as he made mental notes of Quidditch formations, and Sirius let out a huge yawn.

Remus remained birdless, and finally reached his breaking point.

"Bugger it all!" he cursed, punching his pillow with his wand hand.

"All right, Moony?" Sirius drawled, glad to have an excuse to not continue his essay on how Muggles produced electricity.

"Bloody non-verbals," Remus grumbled.

"A right pain in the arse," Sirius agreed happily.

"Pain in the arse is right," Peter moaned from the floor, rubbing his brow. "Transfiguration's hard enough without them."

"You've got an ink stain on your forehead," Sirius informed him.

"As long as it's not on my notes," Peter replied with a small shrug. Then, with a sigh he returned to his work, his lips moving as he copied down the words.

"I've been practising and practising and I don't think I've got any better," Remus said, his voice tight with frustration.

"Sure you have," Sirius grinned. "You don't look half as constipated as you did before."

Remus shot him an irritated glare. "I think I'll just go to the common room and revise Charms."

"Sorry Moony, it was a bad joke. Please stay."

Remus' eyebrow arched.

"I'm not helping you with your essay."

"Not even a little? Come on, I know you want to explain these turban things to me."

"No, I really don't." Remus spoke firmly and grabbed his Charms text book. "I'm going."

"Bye Remus," Peter said.

"Have fun," James wished distractedly.

"Moony, I really need your help," Sirius pleaded.

Remus paused, one hand on the doorknob, and turned to look at Sirius over his shoulder.

"Since you sound so pitiful, I'm going to help you this much: those 'turban things' are actually called turbines."

Peter chuckled, and Sirius frowned down at his parchment as the door of the dormitory determinedly clicked shut.

* * *

><p>Lily was smiling to herself as she helped herself to the roast.<p>

Bethany noticed this, and found her dorm mate's enthusiasm contagious.

"You seem to be in a good mood," she said.

"I am," Lily said, flashing a quick smile to Bethany. "I got Outstanding on my Defence essay."

"You did?" Marlene said, quirking her brow. "I'll have to go and owl the _Daily Prophet_ right away, then! Lily Evans got an 'O'."

"Be nice," Gwen told Marlene, giving her a long look in warning.

"That's great, Lily," Bethany smiled. "Well done!"

"Thanks, Betty!"

Marlene shook her head. "I don't see what the fuss is about. Why get so excited over an 'O'? You always get good marks, Lily."

"Well Quirke is a new teacher so none of us really knew what kind of marks we could expect from her," Gwen shrugged.

"It's not just that," Lily said slowly. She set down her fork and frowned in thought. "I wanted to do well because it's Quirke."

"What do you mean?" Bethany asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"I look up to her, you know?" Lily confessed. "She really knows her stuff and she's cool. Remember our very first lesson?"

"Yeah that little speech she gave was something else," Marlene said.

"Exactly. She's not afraid to stand up for what she believes in."

"I know what you mean, Lily," Gwen said. "I like her too."

"She is a good teacher," Marlene conceded. "And fair."

Bethany nodded. "She is very admirable. I just wish she didn't make us use non-verbal spells all the time."

"I second that," Marlene agreed with a grimace. "I just can't seem to get the hang of non-verbals. They give me a headache."

"Just keep at it. They are tricky to cast, but I'm sure you'll both learn them soon enough," Gwen said.

"Are you trying to rub it in that you know how to do them now?" Marlene crossed her arms.

Gwen rolled her eyes. "No, stupid, I'm trying to be encouraging. Besides I only managed them twice."

Marlene looked like she wanted to retort but in the end she just pursed her lips and said nothing.

"I've been wanting to ask," Bethany chirped up, looking at the disgruntled blonde, "is that a new lipstick, Marlene?"

"Maybe," she replied evasively. "What's it to you?"

"Nothing, I just thought the colour looked good on you."

"Oh," Marlene mumbled, staring down at her plate. "Erm, thanks."

"It _is_ a new lipstick," Gwen suddenly noticed, her eyes narrowing in instant suspicion. "You don't usually wear make-up."

"Maybe she should," Lily said, sending Gwen a pointed look. "It looks really nice, Marlene."

"Thanks Lily," Marlene said. Her cheeks flushed slightly, and she cast a quick glance down the Gryffindor table.

Lily noticed her friend's unease and followed Marlene's line of sight. She understood her friend's behaviour the moment she noticed her brother sitting there with a few other seventh years.

"Don't worry," she told Marlene with a reassuring smile. "I don't think Marcus heard us."

"I hope you're right, otherwise I'll never hear the end of it," Marlene replied, glumly spearing her baked beans.

* * *

><p>Lily was lying on her bed, feeling very cosy and mellow after the dinner. She lazily whirled her wand around, levitating a ball of crumpled up parchment for her cat to chase.<p>

Betty was off somewhere socialising, Gwen had the first Quidditch practice of the season, and Mary had gone to study at the library.

The only other person besides her in the dormitory was Marlene, who was silently swearing as she compared the Transfiguration notes she and Lily had taken earlier that day.

"Why didn't you talk me out of this?" she grumbled to Lily.

"Out of what, studying?" Lily asked, watching Augustus skitter across the floor after his make-shift toy.

"Out of N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration," Marlene replied. "What was I thinking?"

"That it's an important and useful subject?"

"It's torture, Lily!"

"You're being dramatic."

"Do you remember how long it took me to get vanishing spells last year? Now we're supposed to _conjure_ stuff."

"I remember that you had a hard time, but I also remember that you learnt them in the end. You can do this, Marlene."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"Stop fretting," Lily told her friend, levitating the ball higher in order to entice Augustus to do a backflip. "And if worse comes to worst, you can always go ask help from the Transfiguration Twins."

Marlene's head snapped up and she stared at Lily.

"Transfiguration Twins? You mean Black and Potter?"

"Yes."

Marlene snorted.

"I'm sure that's a nickname they'll appreciate."

Lily shrugged. She made the ball jump twice in quick succession, but Augustus seemed to have lost interest.

The dormitory door opened and Gwen staggered into the room, hair still wet from the shower and her broomstick propped against her shoulder.

"How was practice?" Lily asked, pocketing her wand.

"It was _brilliant_. And brutal. I suspect Potter may have been a slave driver in a previous life." Gwen set the broomstick down on top of her trunk and flopped down to her bed with a groan.

"I didn't take you for a masochist," Marlene said snidely.

"Marlene," Lily scoffed.

"It's fine, I don't expect you to get it. I haven't been to a Quidditch practice in months. Months! I feel like I'm alive again."

"Yeah, definitely a masochist."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Oh, right, Lily?"

"Yes, Gwen?"

"Pettigrew was asking after you down in the common room."

"Really, Pettigrew? What does he want?"

"I don't know, go ask him."

"I suppose I should," Lily agreed. She stretched and got out of her bed.

"No bickering, you two," she said as her final warning as she left the room.

She found Peter tucked in a faraway corner of the common room. He was so often tagging along with his friends that it struck Lily as weird to see him alone.

"Hi," she greeted him cheerfully.

"Hullo," he said, his round cheeks flushing lightly.

"Gwen said you were looking for me."

"Yes, I… Erm, I was wondering if you could help me. I mean if you're busy –"

"It's fine," she assured him, sitting down on the armrest of the armchair Peter was lounging in. "What do you need help with?"

"Charms."

"All right," Lily said, flashing Peter a friendly smile. "Let's get started, then."

Their heads bent together and they immersed themselves in Peter's homework, losing the track of time.

"That's it," Lily rejoiced as Peter finally got the wand movement right. "Now remember when you're saying the spell –"

"Well there's a combination I don't see often," a laughing voice cut in.

The two looked up to see James Potter, his broomstick slung over his shoulders.

"What are you two up to?"

"Nothing much," Peter said, picking up his textbook.

"Just hanging out," Lily said. There must have been a reason why Peter hadn't gone to his friends for help. He probably didn't want the others to know that he was having a bit of trouble with schoolwork so early to the term.

"Highly suspicious," James insisted, and shook his head.

"Oh, Remus wants something," Peter said and hurriedly gathered his things and got up from the chair.

Lily watched him scurry away, her eyebrow arched. She had not even seen Remus in the common room.

With just the two of them left alone, an awkward silence stretched as Lily looked at Potter and he stared back. Lily fiddled with the sleeve of her robe, while Potter shuffled his feet and messed his hair.

"So… Quidditch practice."

"Yeah," Potter blurted, looking a bit surprised. Perhaps he hadn't expected her to initiate a conversation.

"I heard you were quite hard on your team."

"Well, we have new members in the team and there hasn't been a practice since May and we only have seven weeks until our first match…"

"That's true. But I just thought you deserved to know that the word 'slave driver' was used."

The corners of Potter's lips twitched.

"So Gwen was complaining, was she?"

"No, she was ecstatic. She's missed flying."

"I know that feeling," Potter said with a small grin.

Lily tilted her head.

"Gwen came up a while ago, though. Did you stay behind to fly some extra laps or something?"

"Nah, I just had some captain stuff to do."

"Ooh, 'captain stuff'. Sounds intriguing."

"It's… It's nothing, really," Potter said, suddenly finding the red carpet remarkably interesting.

"Come on," Lily coaxed with a smirk, "I'm curious now."

"Err, well, I wanted to take notes about the practice. So I can decide which strategies to use. And I need to assess the strengths and weaknesses of each individual player as well as the team as a whole so I know what areas we need to improve and what we need to focus on and… I'm boring you, eh?"

"No," Lily frowned, "not at all."

"I just mean, all this Quidditch talk…"

"I like Quidditch."

"You do?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Lily demanded, raising her eyebrow. "Just because I've failed to swoon at the sight of you in a Quidditch uniform doesn't mean I don't like the game. I mean, I'm not fanatic about it like some people –" she cast him a meaningful glance "– but it's an interesting sport nonetheless."

"Yeah," Potter blinked, "it is."

Lily shook her head. Really, Potter could be such a dolt sometimes. And yet he took his new responsibilities seriously. In a way, that was quite impressive.

Lily folded her arms, and gave Potter a long, appraising look. "Well, seems like that captain's badge isn't just for show."

A familiar grin touched his lips, and laughter flashed in his hazel eyes.

"Careful now, Evans. That almost sounded like a compliment."

Lily got up from the armchair and smoothed down her robes.

"You're right, Potter," she said, meeting his eyes, "it almost does."

Then with a final glance she left, smiling to herself as she made her way across the common room, to the staircase leading up to her dormitory.

* * *

><p>People began to file out of the Charms classroom, and Marlene trudged over to Lily's desk.<p>

"I'm starving," she whined, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"Good thing we have lunch next, then," Gwen said, leaning against the desk.

Mary closed her bag and got up from her seat.

Lily stopped gathering her things and looked up ather friends, noticing that most people had already left the room.

"You guys go ahead," she told them, rolling her parchments and pulling her textbook to her.

"We can wait," Mary said.

"It's fine, really," Lily insisted, waving off the offer. "I wanted to ask Flitwick about shield charms."

"Kiss-arse," Marlene snorted. "Who are you trying to score extra points from; Flitwick or Quirke?"

"Well both, obviously," Lily retorted, tossing back her dark red hair. "It's not like I'd actually have any personal interest in the subject matter."

Gwen snickered at Lily's snark and then nudged Marlene.

"Come on, let's go and feed you. Maybe then you'll be less of a prat."

Marlene grumbled under her breath but followed Gwen towards the door.

"We'll see you later, Lily!" Mary said in parting, before rushing after the two witches.

Lily gave her friends a wave, then got up from her desk and walked to the front of the classroom where their tiny teacher was shuffling his notes.

"Professor?"

The sound of the voice startled Flitwick, but he soon beamed in delight as he noticed one of his favourite students standing by his desk.

"I wanted to ask you about shield charms."

"As that is a defensive spell, wouldn't that be something you'd rather ask Professor Quirke, Miss Evans?"

"Of course I plan to ask her too, but it is essentially a charm, and I thought you'd have insight to the practical applications of it. I understand you have an extensive background in duelling, Professor?"

"Ah, well, I do have a fair bit of experience of using the spell," Flitwick admitted in his squeaky voice. "But I wouldn't want to keep you from lunch, Miss Evans. Perhaps you could come see me in my office some time so we could discuss the topic at leisure. In the meanwhile…" he tore off a piece of parchment and quickly scribbled down something. "Here are some good titles that describe shield charms as well as some other defensive spells."

"Thank you so much, Professor. I'll make sure to stop by," Lily promised, accepting the booklist with a bright smile.

"I'm happy to help, Miss Evans. Now hurry along before the food gets cold!"

Lily grinned and thanked Flitwick again before leaving the classroom and heading down towards the Great Hall. The corridors were empty; most students were already enjoying the lunch.

Lily walked quickly, while eagerly studying the short list she had got from Flitwick, making note of each book. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and looked up to see Snape rounding the corner, closely followed by Adeleine Blastock.

She frowned.

That didn't seem right. Adeleine was a typical Slytherin pureblood snob. Lily had never seen her with Snape before.

Still, she didn't think much of it. It was of no consequence to her with whom Snape chose to hang out these days, and she pointedly ignored the two as she hurried past them. The less time she had to spend near _Snivellus_ the better.

She was halfway down the corridor when something hit her back. Her left shoulder stung and her knees buckled.

Blood pumped in her ears. The adrenaline kicked in, and Lily was already moving as she hit the floor, landing in a crouch. She whirled around, wand in hand, her blazing green eyes glaring at her former friend. She supposed she should have felt hurt or surprised, but she didn't. Her only emotions in this moment were anger and contempt.

The coward hadn't even had the balls to face her.

Snape's face twisted and his wand arm twitched, and Lily acted on pure instinct. The spell flashed in her mind and Snape's curse rebounded harmlessly off the shield she had conjured without a single word.

Lily felt savage pride for the sour look that crossed Snape's face and the way Adeleine Blastock's eyes had widened at her non-verbal shield charm.

Lily stood up slowly, her wand trained on Snape.

Then, she broke the silence.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" she asked in a low, threatening voice. "I suggest you walk away right now, while I'm still using defensive spells."

Snape's dark eyes were conflicted and his jaw clenched, but he neither replied nor lowered his wand.

"What about you, then?" Lily spat at Adeleine.

The dark-haired girl crossed her arms over her chest but made no move to reach for her wand. "I'm only here as a witness," she said, her usually haughty voice sounding glum.

"A witness?" Lily echoed sceptically. Then, a wry smile touched her lips. "Ah, I see. This is a test." She glanced from Adeleine to Snape and back. "Your new _friends_ want proof of your loyalty."

His thin lips pressed in a grim line, confirming her suspicion.

Lily stared him down, unyielding. And though her eyes were burning in anger, her voice was cold and soft when she spoke.

"You thought I would forgive you, but I told you, didn't I? You've chosen your path. And it has led you here to point your wand at me."

She saw his hand tremble. She saw the anguish etched on his face. And maybe she could have felt pity, if his wand wasn't still levelled at her.

They had been best friends, but in the end that seemed to have amounted to nothing. He had chosen the people who loathed her very existence.

The tension grew as the two of them glared at one another, each anticipating the next move the other would make. Lily forgot all about Adeleine Blastock or lunch, the only thing that mattered right now was Snape and his wand. Her heart pounded madly, the blood wildly coursing through her veins in a white hot rush. Her senses were focused and fine-tuned to the slightest of movements Snape made, her mind racing and cataloguing spells, hexes, and curses she could hurl at him.

The time for shield charms was over. She had offered him a chance to back out, but it was obvious he wouldn't. So she would switch to offense, fight fire with fire. She would not hesitate to hex Mulciber or Avery or any other Death Eater thug. Why should Snape be any different?

Finally his lips moved, his arm wound a slashing arc and Lily instantly responded in kind. She did not know what spell he had used, it cut through the sleeve of her robe and lashed her arm. She ignored the stab of pain even as she felt the gush of blood. His aim had been true but so had hers, and her hex had hit Snape right in his face. Lily felt a wild wave of self-satisfaction as she watched the large, red angry boils bubble across his sallow skin.

Snape clutched at his face. His wand veered to the side and Lily clutched hers tighter, the next hex already clear on her mind when there was a sudden movement at the edge of her vision. Another player eager to join the game. The young man leisurely strolled towards them, his wand drawn.

"Well, well," Sirius Black drawled with a wolfish grin. "What a merry sight we have here."

Adeleine Blastock glared at the intruder and Snape froze at the sound of his voice. His hands dropped from his face and he pried his eyes open.

"Still, two on one, huh? Wouldn't it be fair to even the odds?"

"Do not involve me in this, Black," Blastock hissed. She looked much less like a porcelain doll now, when the dark anger flashed on her face.

"She's right," Lily found herself agreeing. "It was only one on one. Though now that you are here we could make it into two on one."

"A generous offer. I'm quite tempted to take it," Sirius said. He was still grinning, his manner wholly casual, but his wand was pointed directly at Snape's throat all the while. "Still, I'd hate to steal all your fun, Evans."

Lily snorted.

Adeleine's irritated gaze flitted between the two Gryffindors. Then, she scrambled to grab Snape's arm in a rough grip.

"It's over," she hissed, turning her back to the fight. "Let's go."


	7. Chapter 6 - Discontented Youth

'_Cause we have had enough_

_All the violence has touched_

_Every part of our lives_

_Our innocence is gone tonight_

**Papa Roach: **Had Enough

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Six – Discontented Youth<span>

"Bloody Prongs and his pansy arse," Sirius muttered under his breath. "Should've hexed Snivellus when we had the chance."

"What?" Lily asked sharply.

"Nothing," Sirius grunted. She frowned at him but then shook her head and started down the corridor.

"The Hospital Wing is the other way," Sirius pointed out, catching up with Lily in a few swift strides.

"I'm not going to the Hospital Wing," she told him firmly.

"You're bleeding, Evans. Quite heavily at that."

"I'm fine."

"It might leave a scar if you don't have it looked at."

Lily whipped around, her green eyes blazing. "Do I look like someone who cares about scars?" she snapped. She was _not_ in a good mood, and had little patience for Sirius Black and his nonsense.

"Crazy cow," Sirius said, his own dark temper rising. "What are you biting my head off for? I'm not the one who cursed you."

Lily's quick, angry steps slowed and she had to stop to take a deep breath. The sharp reminder of having her former friend turn against her stung much worse than a slap in the face or her bleeding upper arm. She gritted her teeth and continued down the corridor, pointedly ignoring Sirius.

But Sirius wasn't so easily discouraged. He hurried after Lily, cursing her stubbornness.

"So that's the great plan? Do nothing?"

"Bugger off, Black."

"You're gonna go down for lunch and leave a trail of blood all the way from here to the Great Hall?"

"Does the sight of blood make you squeamish, Black?"

"Not particularly," Sirius scoffed. "Why?"

"Because that's the only reason I could come up with to explain why you would _care_ if I was bleeding all over the floors or not. I mean let's be honest, we both know that you don't like me."

Sirius' lip curled into a sneer.

"My personal feelings don't factor into this. We're on the same side, Evans."

"And what side is that?" she snorted. "Gryffindors against Slytherins?"

He shook his head and grinned as if amused by some private joke. "Mudbloods and blood traitors against Death Eaters," he said slowly.

Lily stopped in her tracks and turned to stare at Sirius, stunned to silence.

"And you're right," he continued, "I don't like you. But James does, and so does Remus. How do you think they'll react when you waltz down for lunch, still bleeding? Or your own friends, for that matter."

Lily pursed her lips. Loathe as she was to admit, Sirius did have a point. The very reason she did not want to go to Madam Pomfrey was because she didn't want to make a fuss. The fewer the people who knew about the attack the better.

"Fine," she finally relented.

Sirius grabbed her wrist and started back down the corridor, but came to a quick stop when Lily didn't follow.

"What are you doing?" he barked impatiently.

"I'm wondering what the bloody hell _you _are doing," Lily retorted.

"I'm trying to drag your sorry arse to the Hospital Wing."

"No you aren't. I told you I'm not going. Now let go of me so I can get my wand."

Sirius looked at her in dark irritation, but released her wrist from his tight grip.

Lily raised her wand and turned to study at the wound on her upper arm. It was not deep, but the bleeding had barely even slowed down. A dark curse without a doubt, one Lily hadn't seen before. Her brow creased in thought. Knowing Severus, the spell had probably been of his own design. He had always been enthusiastic about spell creation, often sharing his accomplishments with her. Though now it appeared he had been even more productive than Lily had suspected – he had never showed off any dark magic to her. But there was one spell he had taught her last May…

Lily closed her eyes and exhaled. Tracing the wound with the tip of her wand, her voice rose in the melodic incantation. Once she had finished the incantation, the blood flow had come to a sluggish stop, but she repeated the song-like spell two more times, as Severus had instructed her all those months ago.

The flesh knit together and the wound healed, leaving behind a red scar. Lily stared at it dispassionately, and then as an afterthought mended the sleeve of her robes.

"There," she said, turning to Sirius. "Good as new."

He looked at her, his grey eyes narrowed.

"What kind of a spell was that?" he asked.

"The healing kind," she replied snidely. Then, she pointed her wand at him. "One more thing, Black. Don't tell anyone about what happened. Not even your mates."

Sirius shook his head. "Want to keep dear Snivellus out of trouble?" he spat. "Suit yourself, Evans."

He brushed past her and soon disappeared around the corner, leaving Lily fuming alone in the corridor.

* * *

><p>It was still dark; the eastern horizon was only starting to pale. Mist swirled over the lake and the grass was still wet after last night's rain as James ran along the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Usually he would run around the Quidditch pitch but today he steered clear; green blurs were zig-zagging in the air above the pitch, signalling that he wasn't the only one awake before sunrise on a Saturday morning.<p>

These early morning jogs had become a habit of his over the last year, and usually they were peaceful, serving as a kind of meditation; a moment alone to sort out his thoughts. But right now, James' ears pounded with a red-hot anger as Sirius' words echoed in his head over and over again.

They had all wondered why Sirius had been so late to lunch the day before – and without the textbook he had gone back to retrieve from the Charms classroom. Once they had gone up to the dormitory after lunch he had finally offered an explanation, in a gruff, harsh tone of voice.

"_Snivellus attacked Evans."_

Peter's round face had grown pale, while Remus' features had twisted in a dark scowl. And James…James had rummaged for his wand, the Map, his Invisibility cloak, and had been half-way to the door before Remus had caught up and talked some sense into him.

There was nothing he could do. It was not his place. He knew Lily could hold her own, even Sirius had said as much. He knew he did not have any right to exact revenge on Lily's behalf, and he doubted she'd even want him to...

But the thought of her wounded, bleeding, attacked, because of _stupid_ blood prejudice – by a man who had once been her friend – filled him with boiling rage that threw reason straight into the bin.

James' hands balled into fists. He gritted his teeth and picked up his pace. There was nothing he could do about it, so he ran.

The sky was lightening now, tinted with hues of pink, yellow, and orange. James' steps slowed to a walk as he started to head back. He stopped at the bank of the lake and breathed in the cool, clean air as he watched the new day dawn.

Rage was not a feeling James Potter was familiar with. He was a laid-back person who, rather than getting angry, wasn't afraid to turn things into a joke and laugh at himself. But this was the second time within a week that he felt the dark, alien emotion bubble in his veins.

First it had been that Death Eater attack in Kent last Sunday. And now Lily.

The war was getting more serious, and it seemed they couldn't remain untouched even within the walls of Hogwarts. The ridiculous pureblood mania and the sheer unfairness of it all grated on his nerves. It wasn't something he could shrug or laugh off, so James wasn't sure how to deal with the anger and the frustration building up inside him. He wanted to do something, to fight against the discrimination and violence…but what could he _do_, a school kid who wasn't even of age yet?

He shook his head and stomped his feet, starting to walk back to the castle. Perhaps it was time to make use of the Prefect bathroom. Remus had always sworn by it, and as a Quidditch Captain, James was finally eligible to use it too – though he and Sirius had wheedled the password from Remus last year so they could check the place out. Still, a good long soak in a warm bath would do him good right now.

Forty-five minutes later, James' mood had mellowed down. The bath had helped – there was a bounce in his step and he whistled as he stepped out to the corridor. It was nearing eight, so James decided to make his way down towards the Great Hall. Breakfast would start soon so there was little sense climbing up to Gryffindor tower.

He heard them before he saw them. He had not thought people would be eager to get out of bed early when they could have slept in, but there was no mistaking the gleeful laughter echoing in the entrance hall. He came to the top of the stairs and stopped still at the scene in front of his eyes. Three fourth year Slytherin girls, dressed like they had been outside, were huddling together, giggling. Behind them, he saw a small boy, first or second year, jumping and trying to reach up for something.

"That's no good," Parkinson laughed, "you need to try harder if you want it back!"

"It's mine!" the boy said, his small voice cracking. "Give it back, please!"

"I don't think so," Selwyn said, "it's not something a Mudblood like you should even have in the first place!"

The derogative word sent a jolt through James' body and he started making his way to the group, ready to give them an earful. But then, as he got closer and saw that the object the girls had snatched from the boy and were levitating in the air out of his reach was his wand, James' hot anger instantly turned cold.

He reached for his wand and pointed it at the girls' backs without a second thought, the spell ready on his lips.

"_Expelliarmus_," his voice snapped, sharp as a whip. Four wands sailed through the air towards him, and he caught them easily with his honed Quidditch reflexes.

The three girls whirled around. Parkinson frowned at the sight of him and the third girl whose name James didn't know blanched, but Selwyn shot him with a cold glare.

"My wand, Potter," she demanded coolly.

"I don't think so," he said, the corners of his lips twitching as he threw Selwyn's own words right back at her. "It's not something a person like you should have in the first place."

"Don't you dare compare me to the likes of him," Selwyn bristled, glancing at the Muggle-born boy. "My blood is _pure_."

"You say that as if it was something to be proud of. Haven't you heard what happens when you keep marrying your own cousins?"

Parkinson gasped, and Selwyn's cheeks flushed.

"You will pay for that, Potter," she hissed.

"By all means," James said, spreading his arms, "hit me with your nastiest hex."

Silence stretched between them, and Selwyn's dark eyes glimmered with malice.

James smacked his forehead.

"Oh wait, my bad. I forgot you didn't have a wand. Well, I guess you could run and tattle to your head of House how Potter was being a big meanie. I'm sure that will go well, given old Sluggy's views on bullying. I'll be sure to mention how I saw you three picking on this poor kid."

"Stella," the third girl whispered urgently, "we should just go."

"I'm not going anywhere without my wand," Selwyn snapped.

"I know! I should levitate these for you! Then you could jump up and try to reach them," James suggested. "You three seemed to have so much fun playing that game earlier."

Selwyn glowered at him, while Parkinson shuffled her feet, and the third girl stared at the ground, mortified.

"Or," James said, finally growing serious, "I could just hand you your wands back –"

"You'd better!"

"– as long as you promise that you will go quietly back to your dormitory, and that you'll never bother this kid again."

"I'll do no such –"

"I promise," Parkinson cut in.

"Me too," the third girl answered, her voice trembling.

Selwyn seethed, and for a moment James wondered if she would punch him.

"Fine," she bit out after a terse silence, "we'll leave."

James allowed a small grin to touch his lips as he descended the remaining steps.

He held out the three wands and the girls hurriedly grabbed them before marching away with a few last parting glares to James' direction.

"Such a cheery lot, eh?" James remarked to the Muggle-born boy. "Here you go, kid."

"Thank you," he said, his lower lip quivering a little when he finally got his own wand back.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I think so," he said in a soft voice, his cheeks flushing pink.

"What's your name? What House are you in?"

"I'm Tom, from Ravenclaw."

"Nice to meet you Tommy, I'm James Potter. Let's get you back to your common room, yeah?"

"Eh? No, uhh, you don't have to, you already helped –"

"Come on," James said, stooping to wrap his arm around Tom's shoulders.

He started back up the marble stairs and Tom had no choice but to follow. James took a turn to the left, striding confidently down the halls and up the staircases, making his way towards the Ravenclaw Tower on the western side of the castle. He was glad for the distraction, because even after having fun at the Slytherins' expense and resolving the situation, the anger was still there, slowly twisting and churning in the pit in his stomach. He no longer had an appetite, his jaw was still clenched and his teeth gritting.

Sure, he had helped Tommy out, but that wasn't enough. The frustration he had felt earlier that morning was back now, winding around his shoulders, stiffening his neck.

He needed to do something more than trying to pick a fight with the likes of Stella Selwyn.

He wanted to do something about all Stella Selwyns out there, entitled purebloods pushing their own agenda, fuelling this war with their blatant discrimination masked as blood politics.

"Potter?"

James' thoughts scattered, and his attention focused on the two girls coming towards them. They were in his year, Dana Watson and her friend Melody Smith, both Ravenclaws.

"You're up early," Dana remarked, a ready smile on her lips.

"Perfect timing, Watson," James commented, coming to a stop before the girls. "I was just seeing Tommy here back to his dorm."

Dana blinked, noticing Tom just a few steps behind James.

"Brooks, was it?" she said jovially.

"Yes," Tom replied, clutching his wand in his fist.

"I found him in the entrance hall, being teased by a gang of Slytherin girls," James said, his lips pressing into a grim line. "So I wanted to see him get to his dorm okay."

Dana's smile faded.

"Understandable," she said, studying James.

Melody Smith stepped forward, crouching before Tom, her gentle eyes searching him.

"Are you all right?"

"I-I'm fine now," Tom stammered, quickly lowering his gaze as he blushed.

"That's good," Melody said, patting his shoulder.

"I think we can take it from here," Dana offered, glancing from James to Melody and Tom.

"You sure?"

"Of course," she said. "Thank you, I'm glad you looked after him, but he's our Housemate, you know? We'll take care of him."

"Cheers, Watson," James said, flashing her a quick, crooked grin as the tension finally eased from his shoulders. He turned to Tom. "Well then, Tommy, these lovely ladies will see you safely to your dorm. Keep your head high, and don't let the Slytherins get to you."

"Thanks, James."

"Any time."

With a parting grin, James turned and walked away.

* * *

><p>Lily Evans had a temper. That was a simple fact, and one she was fully willing to admit. Certain things riled her up with deceiving ease, but as swiftly as the hot flames of her anger flared, they always died just as quickly.<p>

Except for this time. She had been unable to sleep that night, staring at the dark canopy of her bed, a cold fury bubbling just under her pale skin. She got up so early the Great Hall was almost deserted, the only other people occupying the Gryffindor table was a scattering of first years, a few harried-looking seventh years, and James Potter, who frowned at the bacon he pushed around his plate. Lily paid them all little mind as she took a seat at the end of the table. She sat alone, wound tight as a spring. Her green eyes, hard and unforgiving, stared down at her plate. She ate dutifully, chewing her toast and swallowing her scrambled eggs, their familiar flavours bland on her tongue.

As soon as Lily finished her breakfast she hurried off to the fourth floor. She slid into the library, dark and hushed in the early morning stillness, and walked between the tall rows of shelves, looking for the books Flitwick had recommended her. Their friendly conversation after Charms lesson had taken place less than twenty-four hours ago, but to Lily it felt like it had been in another lifetime. She gathered the books and found a lone table tucked away in a remote corner. Then she threw herself to the work, reading up on shield charms and other defensive spells and taking notes, all the while doing her best to ignore the quiet resentment curling behind her clenched jaw and gritted teeth.

Lily studied all morning and through lunch, nose buried in a book and quill scratching against parchment. She didn't care that by now her friends were probably worried and wondering where she had disappeared to. She just needed to work because if she was idle she had time to remember…and remembering left her seething, remembering made her want to break something while screaming expletives at the top of her voice.

Time lost its meaning in that forgotten corner of the library where Lily immersed herself in her studies. She had no clue how long she spent there, crouched over the small table. But slowly Lily's concentration ebbed away and she became aware of herself: her muscles were stiff, her hand and neck were sore, her stomach empty. And then she became aware of something else – the tell-tale tingle of being the object of someone's scrutiny.

Lily's head snapped up from the book. It took her a moment to spot her; she stood to the side, half tucked away behind a bookshelf as if hiding. As soon as their eyes met, stormy green against cool grey, she was gone. Lily's lip curled into a snarl and the legs of the wooden chair scraped against the floor in a pitiful whine. She piled the books and stuffed her quill and notes into her bag and marched out of the library, stomped up the stairs to the seventh floor and did not stop until she was sprawled on her bed where the heavy red curtains shut out the world. She heard the urgent whispering voices of her friends and a moment later, Gwen's hesitant invitation to join them for dinner.  
>"I'm not hungry," she lied in a tight voice.<p>

The Gryffindor girls scurried away and left Lily alone to fume over Adeleine Blastock. Hadn't she done enough? What more did she want, stalking her in the library like that?

When her dormmates returned, Mary dared to lift one end of the curtain and breached Lily's sanctuary with a plate bearing a generous slice of apple pie. Lily accepted her offering with a curt thanks and was promptly left alone after that. She still had no appetite, but forced herself to eat the pie to appease her empty stomach. Then she burrowed under the blankets and brooded.

Lily spent the entire Sunday in her self-imposed seclusion, lounging on her bed behind the drawn curtains. She did the essay for Potions and translations for Runes and auxiliary reading for Herbology. She petted Augustus and transfigured the fur on his tail Gryffindor red for practise. Mary, mother hen that she was, made sure Lily didn't starve even though she refused to go down for lunch or dinner.

When Monday morning dawned, Lily was starting to feel marginally better. The start of a new school week meant that she'd again be busy with lessons and schoolwork, hopefully too busy to remember how grievously she'd been wronged, too busy to be swallowed up by the constant anger.

Lily's morning began with wrestling a vigorous Snargaluff with Mary and Marlene. Having a physical scuffle with a plant actually did wonders to Lily's foul temper; she had been wanting to punch something for days. Herbology was followed by double Transfiguration, where Lily puzzled the complex theory and tried with a little success to conjure a canary. After the lesson she braved the library again, returned the books she had borrowed, and got started on the assignment McGonagall had given them.

By the time Lily made her way down the stairs to lunch, the tension she had been carrying for days had seeped out and she was almost back to normal. Until she stepped into the Great Hall and spotted a familiar greasy head, bent together with those of his new friends; Mulciber, Avery, and Rosier. The grim whisper of outrage flared anew and Lily's fingers twitched towards her wand, a hex already dancing on the tip of her tongue before she forced herself to turn away and keep walking.

* * *

><p>Lily could feel the weight of their stare. She tried her best to ignore it, to focus on the nettle roots she was chopping, but she had to stop and take a breath when she almost cut her finger.<p>

She wondered which of the two it was, Adeleine Blastock or Snape.

Her hand subconsciously moved to grab her upper arm where, even now almost a full week later, an angry red scar still remained. A reminder of her former friend's final betrayal.

Lily gritted her teeth and dumped the nettle roots into her cauldron. She stirred the concoction and tried to find the calm that potion brewing usually filled her with, tried to feel excited as the simmering smoke rose in the exact pattern her textbook had described.

But the anger still throbbed in her veins, her stomach still gave an uneasy lurch.

She glanced to her side, where Potter was carefully dicing the newt spleen with a look of concentration on his face.

How did he do it? She wondered sourly. How did he keep grinning and laughing and strutting about with no care in the world?

Her gaze was drawn to his cauldron and the potion happily bubbling within. It was thicker and a shade or two darker than hers, but still…

"Your potion's looking pretty good."

Potter turned to her, cocking his head to the side. Lily bit her traitorous tongue that had let the words slip out.

"Hm. I wonder if I should take that as a compliment or an insult," Potter mused. "What do you think, Remus?"

Remus shrugged.

"I'm quite sure she meant it as a compliment."

"I did." Lily frowned, taken aback. How could it possibly be insulting to tell Potter his potion seemed good – even though she hadn't meant to say it out loud?

"But you sounded so surprised."

"Well I am."

"You shouldn't be," James said. "I wouldn't be taking this class if I was a terrible." He gave her a ridiculous wink.

"I suppose," Lily admitted, the corners of her lips twitching, despite the foul mood that had been plaguing her just a moment earlier.

"And I'll have you know I'm better at Potions than Remus."

"That's true," Remus said, stirring his own concoction. "Though if you want terrible, you should have seen Peter's work."

"Oh, Pete," James shook his head, "he would always make a mess."

"Don't be mean to Peter."

"It's not mean if it's true," James replied with a shrug and easy grin.

Lily's lips quirked in response.

"Anyway, Potions isn't too tricky a subject in the end, you know? Just do as the book says," James spoke, nudging his copy of _Advanced Potions_.

Lily stared at him incredulously, a merry giggle bubbling in her throat.

"I don't know," she said, her voice lilting with amusement. "I didn't really peg you for someone who'd take direction well."

"Touché, Evans!" Mirth flashed in James' eyes. "My love for mischief-making aside, I can follow a simple set of instructions."

"You call this simple?" Remus grumbled, frowning at his book.

James ignored his friend's complaint, and ploughed on.

"Of course, just following instructions isn't enough to master the art of potion brewing. For that you need to have a certain sense of creativity that I seem to be lacking."

"Intuition might be a better word for it," Lily said. Then, a teasing smile touched her lips. "You hardly lack creativity, Potter. Your pranks have been very innovative, not to mention some of the excuses I've heard you try to feed to the professors over the years."

"Why thank you, Evans. Still, you know what I mean. I'll never be a potioneer of your calibre. If only brewing skills were hereditary."

"You have potioneers in your family?" Lily asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Oh yes. In fact my father is rather famous for it. The inventor of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion, my old man."

Lily blinked at James' messy mop of hair.

Then she snorted.

"It's all twisted and backwards," she laughed, "but I feel like that explains so many things."


	8. Chapter 7 - Parties and Surprises

_When we were only kids_

_And our time couldn't end_

_And how tall did we stand_

_With the world in our hands_

**Yellowcard: Shadows And Regrets**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Seven – Parties and Surprises<span>

On Monday at lunchtime, Lily and Mary were on their way to the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall when someone called Lily. She paused, puzzled, and turned to look at the long Ravenclaw table. Her fellow prefects Emmeline Vance and Kat Whyte were sitting beside one another, and Kat was waving her over. Lily shared a glance with Mary, who simply nodded. So while Mary continued over to the Gryffindor table, Lily made her way to the Ravenclaws, sitting down on the bench as a blond wizard sitting across from Kat scooted over to make room for her.

"Can I help you lot?" she asked, one eyebrow curiously arched.

"Yes," Kat said emphatically.

"As you might know," Emmeline began, "Connor's birthday is coming up next week."

"Oh." Lily hadn't really known when the Head Boy's birthday was, they had never really been that close.

"It's on Monday, though, so we're throwing him a surprise party this Saturday."

"That sounds nice," Lily said, a little unsure just why they were telling her this.

"We hope you have nothing planned for the weekend, because we're cordially inviting you," Emmeline smiled.

"The party starts in our common room at seven. I can come pick you up if you don't know the way," Kat offered.

"I… I'd love to come, really," Lily faltered. "It's just that, well… Are you sure it's all right? Since I'm not a Ravenclaw?"

"We just invited you, didn't we?" Kat snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Alice is coming, too," Emmeline assured Lily. "Though of course we want to keep the inter-house attendance to a minimum, since you might need to break curfew getting back to your own dorm."

"So, you are very much welcome, but it might be better not to bring a date along," Kat said with a sly wink.

"I don't think there's any need to worry about _that_ happening..." Lily replied in a dry tone. Then, a grin rose to her lips. "All right, I'll be happy to come."

"Great!"

"See you there!"

"Thanks for the invite," Lily said and got up, walking over to the Gryffindor table where her friends were waiting.

"The secret sisterhood of prefects strikes again?" Gwen quipped as Lily slid down to the seat Mary had been saving for her.

"Sort of, I guess," Lily replied thoughtfully, helping herself to the food. "I got invited to a party."

"A Ravenclaw party? I'm sure that'll be a blast," Marlene snorted through her mouthful.

"Connor Matheson's birthday is coming up and they're throwing a surprise party for him."

"Oh, that sounds lovely," Mary said.

"Connor Matheson, eh?" Betty cut in, a smile touching her lips. She leaned over her plate, dark eyes twinkling. "I've been meaning to ask you Lily, is there something I should know about?"

"What?"

"Right, you two came together to dinner ten days ago," Marlene pointed out, smirking.

"We did, because we happened to run to each other and he offered to walk me down."

"Offered, did he?" Gwen muttered to Mary, who stifled a giggle.

Lily's eyebrows knitted and she set her fork down.

"You're reading too much into it, he's a polite person!"

"Hmm, I guess." Gwen conceded and sipped her pumpkin juice.

"Perhaps it's for the best there's nothing more to it than that," Marlene mused.

Lily's eyes narrowed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well he's the serious, mature type," Marlene replied, as if that explained everything.

"And Head boy," Gwen added with a pointed jab of her fork.

"So?" Lily prompted.

"So he's proper boyfriend material."

"The kind of a boy you could bring home to your parents."

"I still fail to see the problem," Lily said, crossing her arms and a dry tone creeping into her voice.

Gwen and Marlene shared a glance, and then both turned to look at Mary.

Mary squirmed in her seat, but raised her kind brown eyes from her plate to meet Lily's puzzled gaze.

"You've never really had a boyfriend, Lily."

Lily's jaw slackened and she blinked at her friends. That was not true!

"I've had plenty of–" she started indignantly.

"No, you haven't," Gwen cut in before Lily could finish. "You have dates, Lily, not boyfriends."

"You see them once or twice and then you move on to the next one," Marlene continued.

"What?" Lily spluttered. "I do not –"

"Bertram Aubrey," Gwen said, raising one finger. "Aidan Cooper, Joshua Miller..."

"Ooh, I liked Joshua," Betty sighed.

"…Sam Perkins, Bradley Braithwaite…"

"My brother," Marlene supplied glumly.

"What, Lily was with Marcus?" Betty gasped.

"God, Marlene, let it go! It was just one kiss!"

"It was your first kiss!"

"Nice, Lily," Betty chirped appreciatively.

"…Dylan Fairburn…"

"Gwen," Mary said softly, "I think that's enough."

"Did any of them last for more than two months?" Marlene asked Gwen.

"I don't think so," she replied, shaking her head.

"So…" Lily bristled, her lips grim and eyes hard, "you're implying that I _get around_?"

"No," Gwen countered, growing exasperated. "There's nothing wrong with dating."

"You just don't seem to get serious with any of them," Marlene said with a shrug.

"Well maybe she has no reason to," Betty piped up, resting her chin against the heel of her palm. "How many of these boys did you ask out?"

Lily frowned.

"None," she admitted.

"There you go," Betty smiled, picking up her goblet. "Maybe Lily's a polite person."

Marlene pursed her lips. "That's a fair point."

"Of course it's a bloody fair point," Lily snapped. "I'm not going to throw myself into a relationship just for the heck of it!"

"And that's a good thing. Better not to commit if you're not that into the guy," Gwen nodded.

"Thank you!"

"So, this party… are you taking a date?" Betty asked.

"No," Lily replied with a pointed glare. "They actually told me not to."

"What?"

"Why?"

"In case I need to sneak back to the Gryffindor tower after curfew."

"That's… sensible." Mary offered hesitantly, while Gwen and Marlene shared a look.

"I saw that." Lily hissed, her eyebrow arching. "What is it?"

"Oh, nothing," Marlene said, waving her fork impatiently.

Lily poked the food around her plate. It hadn't been nothing, she knew that much, but chose to let it go. She'd had quite enough of this conversation.

* * *

><p>As always, the sixth year Defence Against the Dark Arts class was riveted. Professor Quirke knew her stuff, and commanded the classroom almost as well as Professor McGonagall. Not a single student whispered with their friends or appeared bored. James Potter was taking notes diligently, and beside him, even Sirius Black was sitting still and listening attentively to Quirke's lecture on the Unforgivable Curses.<p>

"Now of course, having all passed your O.W.L.s with good marks, you all know what these three curses are and what they do, but allow me to go over them with you nevertheless. These three are very powerful and the most sinister curses in existence. Using any of them on either a muggle or a wizard will mean a life sentence at Azkaban – although there is one exception. Anyone?"

A few hands shot up. James dipped his quill in the inkwell.

"Yes, Mr Lupin?"

James glanced to his left as Remus spoke up.

"A person who casts an Unforgivable Curse can be pardoned if they are acting under the Imperius Curse."

"That's correct, Mr Lupin, take five points to Gryffindor. Now then let's start with Imperius since it came up. The caster of this curse will have full control over their victim. Imperius is also the only Unforgivable Curse that the victim could potentially fight off. Resisting the curse's effects requires a great strength of will, however, so it's not something just anybody could do."

James' quill paused. For a fleeting second he wondered if he were able to do it, if he had enough willpower to resist such a strong curse. But he had no time to dwell on such idle thoughts; Quirke kept talking and he had notes to take.

"The Imperius Curse dates back to early Middle Ages where it was created to coerce and brainwash others into slavery. The Ministry of Magic declared Imperius 'unforgivable' in 1717, along with the Cruciatus and the Killing Curses."

James scowled down at his parchment and tried his best not to think that dark witches and wizards of today were still using a curse that had been outlawed over 250 years ago. Someone, somewhere, might be casting it on an unsuspecting victim right at this very second.

"Another thing that sets the Imperius Curse apart from the two other Unforgivables," Professor Quirke continued, her voice cool and even, "is that its effects do not feel unpleasant to the victim. The reports of the experiences of Imperiused people consistently state that while they've been under the curse they've felt calm and relaxed – even happy."

The lesson finally came to an end and James stuffed the textbook into his bag. He was rolling up his parchment of notes when Sirius' elbow dug into his side.

James looked up at Sirius and then followed his gaze to the Ravenclaw girl approaching them.

"Quite a lecture there, huh?" Dana Watson asked, stopping in front of James' desk.

"Yeah, very cheery," he replied, earning a quick flash of dimples.

"What's the deal, Watson?" Sirius drawled, his eyebrow arched. "Come to weasel out Quidditch secrets?"

"Hardly. But I come bearing gifts." She dug around her bag and then pulled out a paper bag. "I heard you like liquorice wands."

"Thanks," James said, accepting the sweets. "But bribery still won't get me to reveal any Quidditch tactics to you."

"It's a thank you, not a bribe," Dana quipped.

"A 'thank you,' eh? Generous and a bit puzzling."

"Well, I'm just a messenger," she shrugged, giving him a small smile. "It's actually from Tom Brooks."

"Oh, Tommy!" James grinned. "Tell him I said thanks."

"I'll make sure of it," Dana promised and walked off.

James got up and slung his bag over his shoulder.

"So what did you do to earn such a gift?" Sirius asked as the two of them walked out of the classroom.

"I helped out this Ravenclaw boy Tommy a while back, he was in a tight spot with a couple of Slytherins."

"Very chivalrous of you, Prongs."

"You know me, I'm a regular knight in shining armour."

"True, though I'm wondering about one thing."

"And what's that, Padfoot?"

"Why Watson? Why didn't this Tommy give you his gift himself?"

"Probably easier this way," James shrugged. "Since Watson shares classes with me."

"Probably," Sirius echoed, a faint smirk tugging at his lips.

* * *

><p>James Potter was tired and sore as he walked down the stairs from the Gryffindor tower. He didn't even want to think of the pile of homework he had left waiting in the dormitory when he had swung by a moment earlier to deposit his broom and pick up a change of robes. He reached the fifth floor landing and then continued down the corridor.<p>

Quidditch practice had been an absolute nightmare. Not because the team was performing poorly, although a lot of work still had to be done before they'd be ready for their first match; their seeker wasn't quite as quick as he'd like and the new chaser was still only learning the various formations.

But the real thorn in James' side was the weather. It had been abysmal for the past week but today had been the worst yet. The heavy rainfall would have been quite enough in itself, but the lightning storms and occasional hail certainly didn't help. These were not conditions where he wanted to fly – or let anyone on his team fly – but they had little choice in the matter because they needed the practice. James had been impressed their seeker had seen enough of the snitch in the torrent of rain to catch it.

James shivered from cold and picked at his drenched Quidditch robes. They clung to his skin and it was driving him mad, but he hadn't bothered with a drying charm when he was about to take a bath and change out of his wet robes anyway. The prefect's bathroom was just a bit further down the corridor and he was looking forward to the hot bath. What James was not expecting, however, was someone exiting the room when he was only a few yards away.

Their eyes met, and her pretty face mirrored the surprise he felt.

"Evans," he blinked.

"Potter," she replied, giving him a long look. Her skin was aglow and her cheeks still slightly flushed from the bath, her dark red hair falling down her back in waves. James' stomach gave a quick jolt and he had to firmly stomp down on the nervous fluttering in his chest.

Just friends, he reminded himself firmly as his hand jumped into his damp hair.

"You look like you took a bath with your clothes on," Lily quipped, one eyebrow arching as she gave a once over to the sorry soaked picture he made.

"More like a cold shower," he offered with a small grin.

Her lips twitched into a smile.

"You must really love Quidditch to brave that weather."

"We've only been practising for two weeks," he shrugged. "The weather's horrible but we have a schedule to keep."

"I suppose," she hummed. "Though I wish you'd wait out the thunderstorms."

"It adds a sense of an adventure but there's no real danger, Evans. The visibility of course is low but it's very unlikely anyone would get struck by a lightning. The only real worry is the wind, but I'm confident in my flying skills. I wouldn't be blown off my broom so easily."

Amusement flashed in her green eyes. "I was more worried about Gwen, actually."

"I know," James smirked with bravado though really he just wanted to smack himself in the face. Repeatedly.

"Well," Lily drawled, glancing down at her feet. "You must be chilled to the bone so I shouldn't keep you waiting."

"Yeah, I'm feeling rather nippy," James admitted, another shiver running down his spine.

"Hope you have a nice bath."

"Cheers, Evans."

She gave him a small smile and started down the corridor. James walked up to the door of the prefect's bathroom but paused to glance at Lily's retreating back before he gave the password and stepped into the room.

* * *

><p>Saturday night arrived in no time at all, much sooner than Lily had expected. She tried to ignore the nervousness bubbling in her chest as she inspected her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was curled just right and the mascara was a nice touch. Good enough.<p>

She stepped into the dorm room. The clothes were her next problem. She didn't even know what the dress code was, casual robes or Muggle clothes?

"I think you should put on that grey pleated skirt," Gwen offered, perched on her bed and trimming the tail twigs of her broomstick.

"Oh yes," Betty agreed quickly, looking up from her _Witch Weekly_. "That looks really good on you!"

Lily bit her lip.

"I think I'm just going to go with this," she decided after a while, glancing down at herself.

"Your school robes?" Betty gasped as if Lily had just admitted she kicked house elves for fun. "Why? It's a party! A perfect excuse to dress up!"

"I've never been to a Ravenclaw party," Lily shrugged. "I don't know how casual or formal this thing is going to be, and at least I can't go wrong with school robes."

"Well that's sound logic but I'd think you're supposed to dress up."

"I did!" Lily insisted. "I did my hair _and_ put on make-up. I even painted my nails."

Gwen and Better exchanged a long glance.

"Well, I suppose that's as much as we can hope for," Gwen sighed, shaking her head.

"Your hair's really pretty," Betty offered.

"Thank you. Now has anyone seen Marlene?"

"Not since dinner."

"I wanted to borrow her brown boots."

"Down in the Common Room?" Gwen suggested.

"I didn't see her there when I came up," Betty frowned. "Maybe she's with Mary in the library?"

"C'mon, Betty. Marlene? In the library?"

"Well she has to do her homework at some point," Lily muttered.

"I'd lend you my shoes, the strappy black ones, but I don't think they'd fit you," Betty said.

"I appreciate the thought, nonetheless," Lily smiled.

"Mary has those maroon heels. You could borrow those," Gwen suggested.

"Without permission? Wouldn't Mary mind?"

"Mary? Of course she wouldn't. Besides, I think they'd look better on you than the boots," Betty said.

Lily nodded slowly.

"All right, let's go with those, then."

A moment later, Lily rocked on the heels of Mary's shoes and smoothed her robes.

"Good to go?" she asked her fashion critics.

"One more thing!" Betty piped up. She jumped up from her bed and rifled through the box she kept on her bedside table. She crossed the room and stopped in front of Lily, rising to her tiptoes to place the twin pearl hairclips on Lily's curled hair.

"There," she announced, stepping back to admire her finishing touch.

"Thanks Betty. Have a good practice, Gwen!"

"I will. Now run along, go party with the Ravenclaws."

"And remember to tell us how it went!" Betty called after Lily as she left the dorm.

* * *

><p>Lily glanced at her watch as she crossed the Common Room. Twenty minutes until the party would start, hopefully that would be enough time to get across the castle… She hadn't been to the Ravenclaw tower before, having had no business there, but she knew approximately where it was.<p>

Stepping through the portrait hole out into the corridor, she saw Kat Whyte leaning against the wall.

"Hullo, Lily! Right on time."

"Hi Kat," Lily greeted her, relieved to find that the blonde Ravenclaw was also in her school robes.

"I like what you did to your hair."

"Thanks," Lily replied, resisting to urge to self-consciously touch her curls. "So, how's it going? Is Connor still in the dark about the party?"

"He has no idea." A smug smile tugged at Kat's lips. "We conspired with Alice and she agreed to be our diversion, she and Connor have been at a Heads' meeting all evening, giving us all time to set everything up."

"That sounds great."

"Yeah. We put up all these decorations – we even made a banner. I can't wait to see Connor's face when he walks in."

Kat's cheer was contagious, and Lily found herself grinning in response as the two of them made their way across the castle, going down the moving staircases and then up again, until at last they reached the spiral staircase that lead up to the Ravenclaw tower.

"I envy the Slytherins and Hufflepuffs sometimes," Kat grumbled as they climbed up.

"I know what you mean," Lily shook her head. "I love our dormitories but there are days when just the thought of trekking up all these bloody stairs makes me want to cry."

"Exactly. The views are great though."

"They are. But stairs aren't."

Finally they reached the door. It was plain and wooden, and had no keyhole or handle, as Lily was curious to find.

"Want to do the honours?" Kat pointed towards the bronze eagle-shaped knocker.

"It's all right," Lily waved her hand. "I wouldn't know the password."

"We don't have passwords," Kat grinned. But Lily still shook her head so Kat shrugged and reached for the knocker.

The eagle opened its beak and spoke in a soft voice. "What is it that you must give before you can keep?"

Lily blinked.

Kat frowned in thought. "I guess it would have to be my word," she answered after a moment.

"Correct," the eagle said and the door swung open.

Kat turned to Lily. "After you!"

Lily had to pause in the doorway, drinking in the sight. It wasn't just the decorations that stole her breath, the streamers and the bright paper lanterns floating in the air and the 'happy birthday' banner Kat had mentioned earlier, it was the room itself. Airy and light with tall arched windows, the stars decorating the soft midnight-blue carpet and painted on the domed ceiling.

"It's lovely," she breathed.

"I know," Kat said. Lily could hear the pride in her voice.

Emmeline, who had been bustling about the common room through the crowd, her wand swishing with the final preparations, finally spotted her.

"Lily, you're here! Come on in!"

With a quick breath to steel her Gryffindor nerve, Lily crossed the threshold.

"Hi, Emmeline. Thanks again for inviting me."

"No problem. You get here all right?"

"Yeah, Kat picked me up. I love the decorations."

"Thank you. We've been storing them in the girls' dormitories to keep them out of Connor's sight."

Lily returned Emmeline's smile. "I'm sure Connor will be surprised."

"He'd better be." Kat crossed her arms.

Lily let her gaze sweep across the room and took in the graceful blue armchairs and tall bookshelves along the walls, the decorative statue of Rowena Ravenclaw. It was grander than the Gryffindor common room but also lacked some of the warmth. Though Lily liked the room, she felt out of place. Perhaps some of the Ravenclaw students agreed, a few of them were giving Lily curious looks.

For a moment Lily stood there awkwardly as both her friends were occupied; Emmeline was putting on the finishing touches and Kat was standing with her ear to the common room door.

After a while, Lily hesitantly approached a group of three students in her year: Andrew Buchanan, who attended Ancient Runes with her and whom Lily knew from the Slug Club, Melody Smith, whom Lily knew to be Andrew's girlfriend thanks to Betty's gossip, and Melody's best friend Dana Watson, Ravenclaw's Seeker.

"Hi," she greeted, offering them a small smile and hoping she didn't come across as nervous as she felt.

"Hi, Lily," Andrew Buchanan said. "Here for the party?"

"Yeah, Emmeline and Kat were kind enough to invite me."

"Welcome," Dana Watson smiled, dimples flashing.

"How are you feeling?" Melody asked in a soft voice.

"Excited," Lily said. "Though I fear I stick out like a sore thumb."

"I think you're fine," Andrew said, "though I'd be nervous too if I were in another House's common room."

"What do you think?" Dana asked.

"It's beautiful. The ceilings and windows and the bookshelves… and I love the decorations."

"Emmeline and Kat are really going all out," Andrew agreed.

"Connor's going to be so happy," Melody said.

"I think he's really going to be surprised."

"Well, Lily, since it's your first time here, would you like a tour?"

Lily blinked at Dana. "Sure."

"Great. We'll be back in a few," she told Melody and Andrew, and then linked her arm through Lily's and steered her away.

They paused at the windows and Lily enjoyed the view of the mountains. The sun had just set and the twilight was falling over the grounds.

"Listen, Lily…" Dana began. She bit her lip. "This is kind of weird and abrupt but I've been curious..."

Lily turned to Dana.

"What is it?"

"Well, I was wondering, about you and James Potter."

"There's nothing between me and Potter," Lily replied immediately. Sure, they'd managed to be civil towards one another lately, even getting along but still… "We're not really even friends."

"But he fancies you, doesn't he?"

Lily's stomach gave a small flip.

"He used to," she admitted, "but I heard he's decided to give up on me."

"Really? Has someone else caught his eye?"

"None that I know of," Lily frowned, "but like I said, we're not all that friendly so…"

"Right, thanks."

Dana smiled at her, a pretty, dimpled smile, and Lily's eyebrow arched in suspicion. Was this Ravenclaw curiosity, or something else entirely?

But before she could start questioning Dana about just why she was so interested, Kat's voice carried over the common room.

"Footsteps!" she cried. "Everybody get ready!"

She and Dirk Cresswell took positions at either side of the door and a moment later it swung open.

"Surprise!" the roomful of Ravenclaws yelled as Connor Matheson stepped in, and Kat and Dirk shot golden sparks from their wands.

Connor froze. His eyes were wide, his jaw slack as he took in the whole room: the decorations, and his grinning housemates. Then he started to laugh.

"Brilliant," he beamed. "Just brilliant!"

His laughing eyes found Emmeline.

"This must be your doing."

"Happy birthday, Connor," Emmeline wished warmly.

And then the party started.

* * *

><p>It was much like every other party she had attended, Lily mused as she stood by the tall arched windows. There was music and good company – Lily had chatted and laughed with Emmeline and Alice for the most of the night. A few people were even dancing, Kat and Dirk Cresswell among them. It wasn't as rowdy as a Gryffindor party, but perhaps that could also be chalked up to the absence of a certain group of four sixth year boys.<p>

Lily watched the Ravenclaws and their party from her quiet spot. She was starting to feel a little tired and wondered if she should head back soon. Though, would it be impolite to leave before wishing Connor a happy birthday? The Head Boy had naturally been the centre of attention so Lily hadn't had a chance to talk to him.

"Here you are."

Lily started and turned.

"All alone?" Connor Matheson asked, tilting his head.

"Yeah," Lily breathed. "Just wanted a bit of a break from the partying."

Connor's lips twitched.

"Me too," he admitted, his eyes sparkling.

Lily clasped her hands and took a breath.

"Happy birthday," she told him with a smile..

"Thank you." He held her gaze and returned her smile.

He had a nice smile, Lily thought idly. Warm. Honest.

"The party's great," she heard herself comment.

"It's brilliant," he grinned. "It was so sweet of Emmeline to set this whole thing up."

Connor paused. His eyes found hers again, and the look in them made something inside Lily flutter nervously.

"Though I think," he said, slowly, softly, "that you coming has been the best surprise of all."


	9. Chapter 8 - Of Secrets and the Pitch

_I want to say I lived each day, until I die_

_And know that I meant something in somebody's life_

**- Beyoncé: I Was Here**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Eight – Of Secrets and the Quidditch Pitch<span>

Lily couldn't remember just how she had snuck across the castle and avoided Peeves on the fifth floor, but somehow she had managed. When she finally snapped out of her daze, she was surprised to be climbing up the spiral stairs to her dormitory. She shook her head and tried to ignore the lingering traces of disbelief.

She paused behind the large wooden door of the sixth year dormitory and took a deep, steadying breath. Lily knew her friends, and would have bet her wand that they were all still awake, waiting for her to come back and tell them everything about the party.

Usually she wouldn't have minded, but tonight had been a bit of a shock; she wasn't sure what to think and could do without the inevitable 'I told you so's.'

Still, there was no sense in putting off the interrogation. Lily was tired and wanted to get to bed, and there was no way she could avoid her friends' eager questions anyway. Besides, she was well acquainted with the Hogwarts rumour mill by now. The news of tonight would spread, and her friends would find all about it eventually.

Better to just get it all over and done with.

Lily inhaled again and stepped in.

The room had been silent, all her friends concentrating on their own things; Mary brushing her hair, Betty painting her toenails, Gwen organising her things and Marlene leafing through one of the murder mysteries she had taken a liking to. But the peace was gone with Lily's entrance.

"Hullo, Lily," Marlene greeted, setting down her book and sitting up on her bed.

"You're back!" Mary beamed at her.

"How was the party?" Betty chirped, corking the bottle of coral nail varnish.

"Did you have fun?" Gwen asked as she carefully folded her cloak and set it in her trunk.

"I did," Lily replied as she crossed the room. "The party was great, though not quite so rowdy as ours tend to be."

She plopped down onto her bed and pulled her shoes off. Her fingers trembled a little as she plucked the hairclips Betty had lent her from her red curls.

"Here, Mary," Lily said, offering her the shoes. "I borrowed these from you."

Mary set down her hairbrush and took the shoes.

"Ah, Gwen told me you had borrowed them, hope they fitted you okay."

"They were great, thanks. And sorry I didn't ask your permission."

"It's fine, don't worry about it."

"Betty, I have your hair clips here–"

"Oh never mind about those," Betty cut in. "Tell us about the party!"

Lily sat back on the bed and tucked her legs close, raising her gaze to meet her friends' curious faces.

"I felt a bit weird in the beginning, you know, being the odd one out. Just stood there awkwardly since Kat and Emmeline were both busy setting everything up and I didn't want bother them. In the end I went to chat with Andrew Buchanan since I knew him from Slughorn's get-togethers. Melody Smith and Dana Watson were with him."

"Andrew's a good guy," Gwen smiled. "And Melody's sweet."

"And they make such a cute couple too!" Betty added.

"Watson's always seemed really easy-going – especially for a Ravenclaw," Marlene said, putting her book aside and rolling over in her bed.

"Yeah, I've always liked them," Lily said.

"What was their common room like?" Mary asked.

"Lovely. It's also in a tower but it's very different from ours – airy and elegant with tall arched windows and stars painted on the ceiling."

"That sounds really pretty."

"It was. Dana Watson actually gave me a tour… though I guess that was just an excuse to get me alone."

"Huh?" Gwen's eyebrow rose. "What did Dana want?"

"She asked me about Potter, was awfully interested if there was anything going on and if Potter still fancied me."

"Now that sounds suspicious."

Marlene frowned. "You know, I overheard Sirius telling Remus how Watson was chumming up with James after Defence lesson on Wednesday."

"I guess she's aiming for James then," Mary said.

"Wouldn't that be perfect, though?" Betty enthused. "A Quidditch couple!"

"She's from an opposing team though," Gwen hummed. Finally done with sorting through her things, she closed her trunk and sat on the edge of her bed. "But yeah, I think it could work. Their personalities are a bit similar."

"Well, it all depends on what James will do," Marlene shrugged.

Lily hugged her pillow, wanting to hide from the side-glances her friends were throwing her way. It was none of her business who James did or did not date; besides he had decided to give up on her anyway. And that was good. It would be a relief to her if he moved on. Besides, now she too…

A slight blush coloured Lily's cheeks and she buried her face into the pillow.

"Lily?" Mary's voice sounded concerned. "Are you all right?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I guess so."

"You're holding something back, aren't you?" Gwen guessed. "Spill it."

"We want all the details!" Betty grinned.

"Something kind of, er, happened."

"Oh, nice, that's very detailed," Marlene huffed and rolled her eyes.

Lily bit down on her lip and fought down the nervous flutter in her stomach.

"…And then after that I had to find Emmeline and Kat and ask them if they knew when they invited me to the party that he…"

"He?" Betty perked up.

"…And they were grinning and said of course they knew, that they had known for a while and that's why they invited me in the first place! That I was the present."

"Huh?"

"Umm, you're rambling, Lily."

She was, and she knew it. She took a shaky breath and collected her thoughts.

"Er, so, basically Emmeline and Kat wanted me to come to the party so I could be a present. For Connor."

"Ehhh?"

"What?!"

"Oh my god!"

"I knew it! I _knew_ Connor was into you."

"_Details_, Lily! Now!"

"Yeah, go on!"

"I was getting a bit tired so I was alone to the side of the room and Connor came to join me and I wished him happy birthday and we talked a little and then he asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him."

"What did you say?" Mary asked in a soft voice.

"I want to know what _he_ said," Gwen countered. "How did he ask you?"

"Uh, he said it's kind of early since the first Hogsmeade weekend won't be for a few more weeks but that he'd really like to go with me. Then he asked: 'May I?'"

"And?" Marlene prompted.

"And that was it," Lily replied.

"No it bloody wasn't, what did you say?"

"I told him yes," Lily snapped, her cheeks glowing. "There, satisfied?"

"Yes, very," Marlene beamed.

Gwen bounded over to Lily's bed and hugged her.

"Well done, Lily, landing the Head Boy."

"I didn't 'land' anything," Lily grumbled, "just agreed to go out on one date. And before you say anything, I remember all your comments from before about me having dates and not boyfriends, and I'd like to take this one step at a time, thank you."

"Of course, Lily. We'll support you regardless," Mary promised with a smile.

"Also I know news like this is going to spread around the whole school, but I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't share this with anyone quite yet."

"Can do."

"Mum's the word."

"I'll try to watch my mouth," Betty promised. "It might be for the better, anyway. I know a couple of Hufflepuff girls who are going to hate you."

"Oh that thought just strikes fear to my heart," Marlene snorted

"Well… Connor is fairly popular so I figured some might not take this well, or read too much into it or whatever." Lily shook her head.

"Actually, from what I hear, they were hoping Alice and Connor might hook up," Betty clarified.

"What?"

"That's insane, Alice is with Frank!"

"I'm with you, it's pretty far-fetched. I think they just liked the idea of a Head Girl - Head Boy romance."

"When did we ever have a Head Girl - Head Boy romance?" Gwen frowned from her seat on Lily's bed.

"When we were second year, right?" Mary asked, turning to Lily.

"Yeah, Verena Greengrass and Osmund Teel dated for a while," Lily replied.

"Oh, right! I remember! They had a huge falling out after Valentine's Day and were at each other's throats ever since." Marlene cackled.

"That just goes to show that a Head Girl - Head Boy romance is a terrible idea. I'm so glad I was too young to be a prefect back then," Lily muttered.

She let her head fall against Gwen's shoulder and though it was late, the sixth year girls chatted and giggled for quite a while longer.

* * *

><p>James Potter's face was thunderous as he stormed into the sixth year boys' dormitory early Monday morning. He forcefully banged the door shut behind him, startling Peter out of his sleep.<p>

"Who the fuck is Gilderoy Lockart and where can I find him?" James snarled, his hands balled into fists and shaking.

"Good morning to you too, Prongs," Sirius wished cheerfully from the bathroom.

"Gilderoy Lockhart?" Remus mumbled, breaking into a yawn. "That name sounds vaguely familiar."

Peter rubbed his eyes and blindly groped for the piece of parchment lying on his bedside table.

"What did he do?" Sirius asked, appearing to the bathroom doorway. "Cosy up to Evans?"

"No," James hissed, his hazel eyes blazing with uncharacteristic fury. "The bloody bastard mutilated the Quidditch pitch!"

"What?"

"Mutilated how?"

"Carved his fucking _name_ on it, in huge letters."

"What?" Remus repeated dully, wondering if he was still half asleep.

Sirius gaped at James and then let out a low whistle. "What a wanker."

Peter was blinking blearily at the Marauder's Map now lying across his lap, while James started to pace, still ranting in outrage.

"Dunno who he is, but I can tell you where you can find him," Peter said after a while, having finally spotted the right dot on the map. "He's up in Flitwick's office with McGonagall."

"Caught already?" Sirius snorted. "That was fast."

"I doubt he was trying to get away with it. It's hardly subtle, using his own name," Remus pointed out.

"Flitwick's office? Let me see." James marched over to Peter's bed and snatched the map from him. He glared at the name labelling Lockhart's dot as if it was something highly offensive. "Guess he's a Ravenclaw then."

"Pity. Flitwick's punishments are a joke," Sirius grumbled.

"Well McGonagall's there. Hopefully she can give him hell," Peter said.

"I'm sure she will," Remus said. "She won't forgive anyone who messes with Quidditch."

"It's not enough," James scoffed. "No matter how many detentions he'll get, it won't be enough."

"Well, it all works out perfectly then," Sirius grinned. "We've been back for a month and haven't managed any mayhem."

"Given all this schoolwork we're saddled with, that's hardly a surprise," Remus muttered.

James changed into his school robes and plopped down onto his bed, his outburst of anger giving way to sullen silence. Sirius was right, the infamous Marauders had actually managed to stay out of trouble for the whole of September.

In between the N.E.W.T. classes and his Quidditch captain duties, there wasn't as much time left for mischief… though if James was honest to himself, that was not the main reason he had been lying low.

Last year had left a bad taste in his mouth. The last prank any of them had pulled had been Sirius' insane stunt of luring Snape down into the secret passage under the Whomping Willow. After that and the resulting fallout, most of the spring had been an uneasy time. They were busy preparing for the O.W.L.s, James had been telling himself… but the truth was that something had irrevocably changed, small cracks of doubt had appeared in the friendships that had never wavered before.

"I believe it's time to dust off our thinking caps. What do you say, gentlemen?"

James looked up at Sirius and then decisively stamped down his moody thoughts.

"I say that someone who crosses a Marauder does so at their own peril."

"Well said, Prongs my lad. Let's cook up a proper prank of vengeance."

"Can't we do this later?" Peter complained. "We haven't even had breakfast yet."

"There's no time like present, my dear Wormtail!"

"You're being way too chipper for Monday morning, Sirius."

"And you, Moony, need to cheer up. It's time for some good old plotting!"

Remus grunted and trudged into the bathroom, pulling the door firmly shut behind him.

Sirius' eyebrow quirked up as he turned to James, "What's his problem?"

"Five days left until full moon," James replied in a low voice.

"Oh, right."

"Well, at least this time it's on Friday," Peter sighed. "He won't have to worry about missing lessons."

"We can plan for that later. Right now we need ideas to avenge Prongs' beloved Quidditch pitch."

The vision of the crude cursive letters carved into the green grass swam before James' eyes again and he gritted his teeth.

"I demand public humiliation," he seethed.

"Public humiliation is the best kind of humiliation," Sirius remarked cheerfully. "I vote for warts."

"Warts alone won't do," James said. "Perhaps we should take a leaf out of Evans' book and shower him with stinksap."

"Ooh, nice! That's definitely an option. You got any suggestions, Pete?"

"I don't know… I feel like we're approaching this the wrong way…"

"Huh?" Sirius blinked.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just… Like Remus said, this guy wanted to get caught, using his name like that. I'm pretty sure he did it to get attention," Peter explained, gnawing on his lip.

"Yeah, I guess…" James conceded, though his voice remained dubious.

"So, shouldn't the most fitting revenge for him do the opposite?"

"You might be onto something there, Peter."

"So what are you saying we should do? Erase him from the existence?" James scowled.

"I doubt we can go around obliviating people," Sirius agreed.

"I was thinking more along the lines of disillusionment and silencing charms," Peter said, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

James and Sirius turned to look at each other and Sirius smirked.

"Simple sounds good to me."

"I think those two charms are something we could actually pull off."

"It might be best to do it right away, too," Peter said. "News travels fast and a stunt like this will have the school in a buzz."

"Who would have thought – our Wormtail, an evil mastermind!"

Peter blushed as Sirius patted him on the shoulder.

"Right," James decided. He stuffed the map into his pocket. "I won't let him gloat and be the centre of gossip," he muttered as he grabbed his invisibility cloak from his trunk.

"Good luck!"

"Hope the revenge tastes sweet."

"I'll see you at breakfast," James promised and left the dormitory.

* * *

><p>Lily fiddled with the sleeves of her robe as she walked down from the Gryffindor tower. It was Wednesday evening and she was feeling nervous. Since the party on Saturday, she had seen only glimpses of Connor in passing, but now she was heading down to the prefects' meeting where she'd actually have to face him. She stole a glance at Remus, walking beside her. He wasn't looking too perky either, his face was lined and paler than usual.<p>

Lily bit her lip and let the first thing crossing her mind slip out.

"I heard they've fixed the Quidditch pitch."

"Yeah, James was over the moon."

"I can only imagine. Gwen was very relieved too, she was so pissed off when she heard about it."

A wry smile rose to Remus' lips, smoothing the lines on his face.

"You got off easy then. James goes on a jog every morning, you know? He actually saw the pitch, he was livid."

"I doubt even Potter could have held a candle to professor McGonagall. If Lockhart was in Gryffindor, I'm sure he wouldn't have got off with just a week's worth of detentions."

Remus laughed.

"I think you're right. I almost wish I could've seen her face. I've received an angry lecture from McGonagall plenty of times, but even so I can only imagine what an earful this Lockhart bloke got from her."

"I heard he got more than an earful, though. Marlene mentioned that Black got himself a detention, too; something about warts? Well, I guess he deserved it for being a prat."

"Who, Lockhart or Sirius?"

"Both," Lily smirked. "And I guess it could've been worse, for a moment I was afraid Gwen was going to resort to physical violence."

"I had the same thought when I saw James on Monday morning."

"Why do sensible people like us keep these Quidditch lunatics around, eh?"

"They can be useful from time to time," Remus shrugged, as they started to descend the stairs. "Sometimes it's more convenient to let the brawn do the work so that the brain can rest."

Lily's bright peal of laughter echoed in the staircase as they reached the landing.

"What's so funny?" a voice inquired from behind them, and the two turned to see Benjy Fenwick, the seventh year Gryffindor prefect, coming down the stairs.

"We were discussing the case of Gilderoy Lockhart and the destroyed Quidditch pitch," Remus said.

"Oh, not you too," Benjy groaned. "I've heard enough of the both of them for a lifetime, Marcus has been ranting and raving like a right lunatic."

"Maybe we could start a club. 'The suffering sensible friends of Quidditch lunatics'," Lily quipped.

"Sounds good to me, where do I sign?"

"I'll tell you where not to sign," Remus said, a grin tugging at his lips, "on the Quidditch pitch."

The three of them burst into laughter. Lily leaned on Remus' arm and clutched at her stomach.

"Seriously, this whole thing is daft," Benjy shook his head. "Who would carve their signature _anywhere_ – with twenty-foot-long letters?"

"Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart would," Remus deadpanned, "and I'm sure he will go on to do great things."

Benjy snorted.

The three of them rounded a corner and Lily's merry mood dampened quickly. Further ahead, the door to an empty classroom was open, flooding the corridor with bright light and a murmur of voices. How many yards, how many steps, until she'd be face to face with Connor again? Had the rumours already gone wild, did everyone at the prefect meeting already know that she had a date with the Head Boy? No one had come to ask her about the date and she hadn't noticed people staring at her, but still, the gossip could break out at any moment…

Lily gnawed on her lip.

"All right, Lily? You got quiet all of a sudden."

"Ah, I'm fine, thanks. Just getting ready to don the cap of a serious and responsible student once again." She adjusted the red-and-silver prefect's badge adorning her robes and offered Benjy a tight smile.

"You're right. Jokes are over, it's time to get back to work."

With a wry grin, Benjy walked into the classroom.

Lily hesitated for a moment before she followed him and Remus inside.

"You look a bit pale, Remus, are you all right?" Alice was asking as Lily walked over to them.

"I'm not sure, I might be coming down with something."

"It's the season," Alice nodded gravely. "Seems like people are sniffing and coughing left and right. Go see Madam Pomfrey, all right? A nice pepper-up potion will fix you up right away."

"Yeah, I think I will. Thanks."

Connor was sitting next to Alice, and he flashed Lily a quick smile as their eyes met.

Lily's fingers dug into the folds of her robes and she returned his smile.

"Hi," she managed, hoping she didn't sound as nervous as she felt.

"Good to see you," Connor replied. The words themselves were casual, the tone with which they had been spoken, however, was not. Connor's voice had been warm and sweet, and there suddenly was a nervous flutter in the pit of Lily's stomach.

"Please go take a seat," Alice said to her and Remus, "we're starting soon."

They did as told, and as soon as they sat down, Remus leaned close.

"Did you smell perfume on Benjy or was it just me?" he asked in a soft whisper.

The question caught Lily off guard; though she felt relieved Remus hadn't asked her about Connor.

"I'm not sure," she frowned, stealing a glance at Benjy from across the room. "I didn't really pay attention."

The room was filling up, and after the last prefect, a flustered fifth year Hufflepuff, finally arrived and took her seat, Connor stood up and closed the door with a flick of his wand.

"All right, everyone! There are two important things coming up this month. The first Hogsmeade visit of the year will be on Saturday two weeks from now."

Connor's gaze flickered into Lily's direction, and she felt the heat rising to her cheeks.

"I want you guys to have fun, but also remember that you are prefects. Set an example and keep an eye out for any rule-breaking, all right?"

"The second thing, as you all know," Alice spoke with a smile, "is the Halloween feast at the end of the month. We'd like to have a few volunteers to lend us a hand with the decorations. Who would be willing to help?"

Lily surveyed the show of hands in the room. Almost all the Hufflepuffs had their hands raised, a stark contrast to Slytherins of which only two were volunteering; a fifth year girl, Tessa, and – to Lily's surprise – Adeleine Blastock.

"Great, that's enough. Thank you all," Alice said, marking down the names. "Now, next order of business."

Lily prepared her quill and stared down at her parchment, forcing herself to focus.

* * *

><p>After lunch on Thursday afternoon, Lily and Mary were slowly making their way to the double Potions in the dungeons.<p>

"I'm so full," Mary moaned, "I feel like I'm gonna fall asleep mid-lesson."

"Aww, poor you. It's annoying when you start feeling sleepy in the middle of the day."

"The dim lights and the warm vapours won't be much help to keep me awake."

"I'll make sure you won't fall asleep," Lily promised, a small smile playing on her lips. "By the way, do you know what's going on with Marlene?"

"No," Mary frowned. "I've been wondering about her, too."

"She dashed off so quickly and she doesn't even have a lesson after lunch."

"Yeah, it's weird," Mary agreed. "Seems like half the time she's off somewhere on her own."

"The other day, I heard her humming. In the _morning_. Something's dodgy for sure."

"I feel like something's going on with Remus, too. He seemed really pale earlier."

"He said he's coming down with something, yesterday when we were in the meeting," Lily replied. "He said he'd go to the hospital wing, so I guess he'll try to soldier through today's classes and then rest for the weekend."

"Well I hope he gets better."

"Me too," Lily said, though the words felt hollow.

Ahead in the corridor, a scattering of students were waiting outside the classroom for Slughorn. Andrew Buchanan gave Lily a small wave, which she returned. She felt Snape's gaze snap to her direction as she and Mary took a spot by the wall. She was careful not to look at him, her chest heavy. Even being in the same room with Snape was painful these days, all the emotions his presence brought to her were still so raw and fresh and horribly tangled. She knew that one day she would have to sort it all out, but today was not that day.

Mary's nudge brought her out of her lost thoughts, and Lily found herself blinking at the soft blue eyes of Dale Hudson, a Hufflepuff she vaguely knew from the Slug Club meetings.

"Hi, Lily," he said, his voice a bit breathless.

"Hi, Dale."

"Er… I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go to Hogsmeade. With me. Um, if you don't have any other plans."

"Uh," Lily replied eloquently. She looked at Dale's earnest face and bit her lip. "I'm really flattered, but I already promised to go with someone else, sorry."

Dale rubbed his neck. "Oh, that's fine. I figured you might have plans."

Lily ignored the loud sniff issuing from Adeleine Blastock's direction and flashed Dale an apologetic smile.

"Thanks for asking me, though."

"Yeah." He returned her smile a bit shakily and walked away.

Lily turned to Mary and realised that James Potter was standing just a few feet away from her. Her jaw slackened but then Slughorn was there, amiably shuffling down the corridor. He opened the door to the classroom and students began to file in. Lily followed Mary inside, her stomach sinking.

She had just taken her seat at their regular working table, when James sat down next to her.

"Popular as always, Evans," he grinned wryly, propping his elbows on the table. "Two weeks till Hogsmeade and you've already got yourself a date? Impressive. Or were you just letting Hudson there down gently?"

"No, I do actually have a date," Lily replied, keeping her gaze firmly on the cauldron she was setting up. Her stomach still felt tight; she had not wanted James to find out like that, even if he had said he was giving up on her.

"Early bird got the worm I guess," James said in a light tone. "Who're you going with?"

"Connor Matheson. He asked me out."

"The Head Boy, huh? As expected."

Lily didn't care for Potter's tone of voice. Something about it sent her temper flaring. Was he implying she was a swot? She could feel Mary's and Remus' gazes on her, but there was no stopping her now.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she hissed, fighting to keep her voice low.

Slughorn had already began the lesson but Lily paid him no heed, too busy glaring at Potter.

James shrugged, the corner of his lips twitching. "Nothing. You've got the bar raised quite high, that's all I'm saying."

"I just agreed to go on a date," Lily retorted, her green eyes flashing. And then, not the first or the last time in her life, her tongue struck faster and sharper than her conscience. "Don't be so bitter just because I turned you down."

She saw James' jaw clench. His hazel eyes darkened and narrowed behind his glasses and his body seemed to grow taut; for a moment she was sure he was going to curse her - but then with almost a violent jerk he turned away from her to resolutely glare at Slughorn, his shoulders tense and his hands curled tight into fists.

All fight gone out of her, Lily slumped in her seat and hid behind her textbook. With the anger quickly draining out of her, all she was left with was the heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach.


	10. Chapter 9 - Caught Off Guard

_It's hasn't always been _

_The best of times _

_But if you'd ask _

_I'd do it all again_

**Hoobastank: **You're the One

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Nine – Caught Off Guard<span>

James Potter woke up on Saturday morning, feeling wretched, sore and exhausted. He would have very much liked to roll over and stay in bed until noon, but the aching pang of his painfully empty belly forced him to sit up and run a weary hand through his mess of hair. He groped for his glasses and perched them haphazardly on the bridge of his nose, his bleary gaze sweeping over the dormitory. The curtains of Peter's bed were drawn, but James could hear his soft snores. Sirius was cocooned in his blankets, but Remus' bed was empty, untouched.

James swung his legs over the edge of the mattress and pulled on his socks. No morning jog today, he thought wryly as the simple motion made him wince. He had a fresh set of scars slashing across his shoulder blades.

Yawning, James dressed and tucked his wand in his sleeve before he pulled his Invisibility Cloak over him. Usually he was a morning person, but today he was in no mood to deal with people other than his mates. Although their monthly excursions always filled him with excitement over the prospect and promise of adventure, the morning after was a different story. Once all that thrill and adrenaline had ebbed away the only thing left was emptiness. It wasn't even the lack of sleep, but the sharp reminder of the cross his friend had to bear. No matter how many times James had witnessed Remus' painful transformation, it was still a harrowing experience; the unfairness of it still rattled him.

James crossed the Common room and slipped out of the portrait hole after a pair of second years. Breakfast would be over by now, but that was not a problem for James; Peter had discovered how to get to the kitchens in the spring of their third year. Besides, the house elves loved him.

As James made his way down the flights of stairs, his thoughts idly wandering, he suddenly recalled the unfortunate Potions lesson from Thursday afternoon. Once again, he had made a complete arse out of himself in front of Lily Evans. He supposed that their tentative peaceful – almost friendly – coexistence would have dissolved sooner or later; that given her quick temper and his inherent ability to get on her nerves, it would have only been a matter of time until they would start fighting again.

Even so, Evans' cutting remark still rankled. James gritted his teeth. He had not expected her to so expertly find his soft spot to sink her verbal dagger into. But it wasn't Evans he was so irritated with – much as he wanted to be. He couldn't blame her for getting angry with him; he was the one who had started it, acting like a right berk. Besides, the reason why Evans' parting retort had been so hurtful was because it had been true: he _was_ bitter.

And there was the crux of James' problem.

He had declared his feelings futile and decided to stop fancying Lily Evans. Slowly, over the course of past weeks when their occasional interactions had been downright amicable, he had started to feel a glimmer of hope. That maybe, one day, he and Evans might become friends.

But there had been nothing friendly about his reaction to the news that Evans had a date with Connor Matheson.

James understood that he couldn't just stop liking Lily that easily, he had told Peter as much. There was no magic button to push that would make his feelings go away. Still, he wished it wouldn't be so hard; he had been trying, honestly trying to get over her. For a moment, he had even thought he was succeeding – but then he had overheard Dale Hudson asking Evans out and felt the familiar stirring of jealousy slithering deep in his gut. He wanted to have nothing to do with such a petty, venomous emotion. Fancying Evans only gave him heartache and he was done with that.

His shoulders slumping, James tiptoed down the main staircase. He took a sharp left, and disappeared through a door into a torch-lit corridor. Reaching a painting of a bowl of fruit, he finally pulled off his Invisibility Cloak and stuffed it into his pocket. He tickled the painted pear, which, accompanied by a fit of giggles, turned into a doorknob. James took a breath and pushed the door open.

A cavernous room with a big fireplace and heaps of brass pots along the walls, he had always found the kitchen a cosy place.

"Excuse me," he called politely to the scurrying house-elves, busy at their work. "I missed breakfast and was wondering if –"

Four house-elves tottered over to him right away, bearing a silver tray. James' empty stomach growled piteously at the sight of the plate laden with full English breakfast and a pot of coffee.

"It looks delicious, cheers," he beamed, and the house-elves bowed deep before hurrying back to scrubbing pans and polishing cutlery. Sitting on the edge of the long table, an exact replica of the one up in the Great Hall, James ate his breakfast and savoured every last sip of the bitter coffee.

Food in his belly and caffeine in his system, the day was slowly starting to look nicer, and James decided he'd go to see how Remus was faring up in the Hospital Wing. He wrapped a couple of biscuits into a napkin and tucked it into his cloak's pocket. Thanking the house-elves one more time, James left the kitchens in a brighter mood than he had entered them.

On his way up the corridor and the staircase, his thoughts once again returned to the root of all his woes: Lily Evans.

One way or another, he'd have to make it stop; stamp down the jealousy, ignore the giddy nervous flutters he got sometimes. It just wasn't worth it anymore, he had enough heartache to last him a lifetime. It was time to move on. And to start with, he should apologise for being an arse to her. He'd try harder, try to be better, and maybe, hopefully, they could become friends.

James paused at the double doors of the Hospital Wing. Remus tend to be withdrawn after his transformations, and for a moment James hesitated, his need to check up on his friend warring against respecting his privacy.

He'd just have a quick peek, James decided. If it seemed like Remus wanted to be left alone, he'd just leave.

James tried to be quiet as he slipped through the doors into the room, but a creak alerted Remus and he instantly sat up in his narrow cot. His gaze swept across the room, trying to see the visitor.

Still hiding under his Invisibility Cloak, James silently crossed the room and sat down at the foot of his bed.

"Who is it?" Remus asked in an undertone, staring at the dip of his mattress.

"Me," James replied. "How's your cold?"

"Better," Remus said, dry humour touching his eyes for a fleeting second. "Madam Pomfrey looked me over this morning and gave me a clean bill of health. I'm free to leave, actually, but I wanted to rest a while longer."

"Understandable, "James nodded, even though Remus couldn't see the gesture. "Here, I brought you biscuits."

"Cheers." Remus picked up the three biscuits James had tossed onto his covers."How're Sirius and Peter?"

"Still sleeping when I left."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me. I envy those two, they never seem to have any trouble sleeping."

"Tell me about it. I would've loved to sleep longer myself but I had to go get food. Did they feed you here?"

"Yeah, I got a sandwich."

"Real food in the Hospital Wing?" James grinned. "You must be special."

"Of course I am," Remus said, a wry smile tugging at his lips. "I'm a regular after all. But thanks for bringing me dessert." Remus held up a biscuit and then bit into it.

"No problem," James said lightly. "I'm just glad to see you're all right."

"I'm as well as I'll ever be," Remus shrugged. He offered James another wan smile but this one was weaker and faltered before reaching his haunted eyes.

James wanted to protest: there was always hope and no one knew what future might bring. Perhaps one day there might even be a cure. The words already danced at the tip of his tongue, but he could tell Remus was in no mood for pep talks or hopeful encouragement – so James clenched his jaw and said nothing.

Thankfully, his silence seemed to be enough of a comfort, since the bitter lines wrought on Remus' pale scarred face eased, and the shadows in his eyes ebbed away.

"Thank you, James," he whispered in an earnest voice.

Tight pain pricked James' chest and it took him a moment to muster a light-hearted, carefree tone.

"Really now," he spoke at last, "the biscuits were no trouble, no need to thank me twice for those."

Remus shook his head. A smile touched his lips, this one decidedly more sincere than his earlier attempts.

* * *

><p>The news had leaked and spread around the school over the weekend, and Monday lunchtime found Lily staring at her plate and squirming in her seat. She could hear the buzz of whispers around her, feel the eyes staring; some speculative, some curious, some in contempt. She had known this would happen; knew all too well that the Hogwarts rumour mill couldn't be stopped, and now that all the excitement following last week's Quidditch pitch debacle was ebbing away, the spotlight of the school gossip had moved from Gilderoy Lockhart to her and Connor.<p>

Lily hated every second of it. She did not mind being in the centre of the attention in principle – she was no wallflower, and had never been shy to participate in their lessons. However, she only welcomed it when it was well-earned, such as getting recognition for her academic accomplishments. To be the focus of her fellow students' interest because of who she had agreed to date? That was wholly another matter.

Hogwarts was similar to any other boarding school; the student body was small and tight-knit, sharing the same quarters for months on end, which did not make keeping secrets easy. Gossip was the students' primary form of entertainment, a way to distract themselves from schoolwork. Lily understood all of this, but that didn't mean she approved of it or liked it... She was not comfortable with her love life being under public scrutiny.

Even so, she might have been able to bear it if it had been just whispered conversations barely in her earshot or long stares cast in her way during meal times. Unfortunately, that was not the case. The curiosity followed her down the corridors, and into the classrooms, even the Gryffindor Tower – just before coming down for lunch, two giggling second year girls had congratulated her on her upcoming date.

Lily pushed her mashed potatoes around her plate, too distracted to listen to her friends' conversations. She probably wasn't missing out anyway; Marlene and Gwen were bickering as always. Lily sighed. She did not have much of an appetite, too aware of her fellow students' rapt attention, but she forced the lunch down anyway. The quicker she ate, the sooner she could get away from the Great Hall and all the eyes closely watching her. She told her friends she was going ahead and hastened upstairs to the Ancient Runes classroom in the second floor. Gwen joined her a moment later.

"What's going on, Lily? You were quiet at lunch and left in a hurry."

"It's nothing. I just don't like being the main topic of school gossip."

"I know." Gwen patted Lily's shoulder. "Just grit your teeth and bear with it. In a couple of days the rumour mill will have something else to talk about. Last week was Lockhart, this week you and Connor, next week it'll be someone else."

"That's true," Lily said, giving Gwen a small smile. "Thanks."

Professor Babbling's arrival ended the girls' conversation, and they followed the other students into the classroom. The double lesson went without an incident – until after the class had finally been dismissed, Florence Langton appeared at Lily's desk.

"Hi Lily," she greeted with a friendly smile.

"Hi Florence," Lily replied, a little on guard. Though they were both prefects and in the same year, she only really knew her in passing.

"So… I heard Dale Hudson asked you out last Friday."

"Yeah, he did."

"Too bad you already had a date, huh?"

"For him at least," Lily muttered, stuffing the heavy tome of runes into her schoolbag.

Florence tittered.

"I know right! Dale's not bad, but he couldn't hold a candle to Connor in a million years."

Lily didn't reply, but Florence didn't seem to take the hint.

"Everyone's jealous of you, and for a good reason!" Florence shook her head and nudged Lily's shoulder. "Connor is so dreamy!"

"Yeah, he's a great guy," Lily replied half-heartedly, swinging her bag over her shoulder. She started to head out of the classroom, hoping the awkward conversation was over.

But Florence proved her wrong, following her out of the room. Lily shot a desperate glance towards Gwen who was waiting for her out in the corridor. She shrugged apologetically and mouthed 'bathroom' before hurrying away.

Florence walked half a step behind Lily and leaned closer, talking in a conspiratorial whisper. "I actually asked Connor out myself last year. He said no, though."

"Um, that's too bad," Lily offered. She didn't know how to respond to such a comment, and why was Florence telling her this in the first place?

"I don't think he's dated anyone since Suzie Bellamy. You're so lucky!"

"I guess I am," Lily agreed. Rounding a corner, she remembered how Gwen had abandoned her earlier and Lily stopped on her tracks as sudden inspiration struck her. Turning to Florence, she said: "Hey, listen, I'd love to stick around and chat, but I need to visit the ladies'."

"Oh, sure!" Florence's smile faltered and she glanced at the bathroom door to their left. "You're not going in _there_ are you?"

"It's the closest," Lily shrugged. "And I really need to go."

"Well, all right. Try not to let Myrtle bother you."

"I'll try. Thanks Florence."

"Bye, Lily, talk to you soon!"

Lily plastered a parting smile to her lips and quickly ducked into the safety of the bathroom.

"God, I really hope not," she groaned as soon as the door closed behind her. She really didn't need to have people cosying up to her just because she had agreed to go on a date with the Head Boy. Didn't they have anything better to do with their time?

Idly rubbing her temple, Lily raised her gaze and saw the pale blue-grey eyes of Adeleine Blastock, who was standing by the sinks and staring right back at her.

_Bollocks_, Lily cursed internally as she looked at the Slytherin prefect. Just her luck to bump right into one of the people she least wanted to see. And what was she doing here anyway? No one came into the second floor girl's bathroom, that's what had made it such a perfect hideout for dodging Florence. No one wanted to use a loo haunted by a pessimistic ghost; even now, Moaning Myrtle's sobs sounded from three stalls down.

Adeleine drew herself straighter, and something in her expression caught Lily's attention. Her head hung. A shadow fell over her eyes, lips pressed into a tight line.

Then, she drew a shuddering breath. "Evans –"

Lily's hands balled into fists. Whatever Adeleine Blastock had to say, it couldn't be anything good and Lily didn't want to hear it. Before she could get another word from her mouth, Lily fell against the door and slipped out into the corridor. Clutching the strap of her schoolbag, she rushed up the stairs and didn't stop until she was safe in the Gryffindor Tower. At least in her dormitory she'd be away from the prying eyes and the gossiping tongues.

* * *

><p>Lily stifled a yawn and rolled her shoulders as she strolled along the corridor.<p>

"In the future, let's try to avoid the Thursday slot," she grumbled to Remus, who walked beside her. "I'm so knackered after such a long day of lessons I don't think I'll be much good for patrols."

"I'm tired too," Remus said. "And I still haven't recovered from today's double Potions. My brew refused to turn violet no matter what I tried. I don't even know what happened, I followed the instructions the best I could."

"It's far from easy, even with the instructions… All these advanced potions seem to take weeks to brew and have so many steps that it's easy to miss one." Lily shook her head. "To put in all that effort only to fail is devastating."

"And how would you know, with your perfect marks?" Remus teased, nudging her ribs with his elbow. "You're Slughorn's praised Potions prodigy."

Lily shrugged, her green eyes laughing. "What can I say, I can't contain my genius."

"You shouldn't," Remus said with a small smile. "And hey, at least we'll be able to sleep in tomorrow."

"That's true," Lily said, returning his smile.

A brief silence fell, and Remus cast a thoughtful look down the corridor.

"It looks pretty deserted here, let's check out the next floor," he suggested.

"All right."

The two of them walked over to the moving staircase. As they stood on the landing, waiting for the stairs to come to them, Lily studied Remus out of the corner of her eye – but then he turned and caught her staring.

"Go ahead," he prompted, his eyebrow quirking.

"It's nothing," she said, a blush rising to her cheeks.

"You're wondering about last Friday?" he asked astutely.

"I just wanted to know if you were all right," Lily muttered.

"I don't think I'll ever be all right." Remus smiled, but it was faint and wry, more a ghost of a smile than a real one.

Lily's green eyes flashed and her jaw set. "You seem all right to me," she replied, folding her arms across her chest.

"You know what I am," he said, turning away from her. He stepped on the staircase as it finally landed and Lily rushed after him.

"Yes, and I'm honoured you trusted me with your secret," she spoke, stopping to stand by his side as the staircase started moving up. "But I told you then and I will tell you now: there is nothing wrong with you, Remus."

Remus looked at her, and then heaved a sigh. His shoulders slumped and his eyes softened.

"I really wonder sometimes what I've done to deserve friends like you."

"You're a kind, selfless and brave man, Remus. You deserve everything good in the world. Don't let this one thing that's out of your control define you."

Remus shook his head but at last there was a genuine smile playing on his lips and lighting his pale face.

"Next you'll probably start calling it my 'furry little problem' like James does."

Lily stepped off the stairs and started to cross the landing after Remus.

"Well," she said, laughter bubbling in her chest, "you know it must be serious if Potter and I agree on it."

"Fair point," Remus chuckled.

For the rest of their patrol, the two of them continued making amiable small talk, and commiserate on various subjects such as difficult lessons, excessive homework, and persistent rumours. They were making their way through sixth floor to get to the stairs going up to the seventh, quite ready to call it a night, when an errant giggle broke the stillness of the drowsing castle.

Lily and Remus shared a look and then, wands at ready, crept up the corridor, keeping as quiet as they could. A low murmur of voices followed the giggle, all sounds coming from an empty classroom ahead on the left.

"Care to take any bets as to what's going on in there?" Remus whispered to Lily.

"I can hear a male and a female, so we'd better knock before ruining the party," she replied in equally hushed tones.

Remus raised his fist and quickly grinned at Lily before he rapped his knuckles against the wooden door.

Deaf silence followed the knock, and then he swung the door open.

"All right people, fun's over! You know breaking curfew is an instant ticket to – Benjy?"

Lily stood on her tiptoes to peek over Remus' shoulder into the classroom. True enough, a very sheepish Benjy Fenwick stood in the middle of the room.

Lily swallowed a sigh. Deducting points off her own House felt much like shooting herself in the leg, at least as far as the House Cup was considered.

"I thought you'd have already finished with your patrol," Benjy offered, rubbing his neck.

"If you had waited another five minutes, we very well might have," Lily snorted.

"Congrats, mate, that's a detention right there," Remus said, earning a grimace from the older prefect.

Lily scanned the dim room. The giggle had been clearly female, but there didn't seem to be anyone but Benjy in the room. Could she be hiding behind his back? Lily's eyebrows arched. As if that would save her!

"Your girlfriend's also earned herself detention," Lily told Benjy. "So might as well give it up now, no use playing shy."

A loud sigh issued from somewhere behind Benjy, and then a defeated blonde witch stepped out, hanging her head.

Lily's jaw dropped.

"_Marlene_!"

"Hey, Lily."

"Don't you 'hey, Lily' me, Missy!" Lily snapped, her green eyes dangerously narrow. "I knew something was going on with you, but this…! I never thought you'd be holding something this huge from me!"

Marlene grimaced.

"Lily, please–"

"Shush!" Lily could feel both Remus' and Benjy's wary stares boring into her but paid them no heed. It wasn't the boys she had a bone to pick with. She kept her glare on Marlene, her balled fists finding a firm perch on her hips. "How long has this been going on?"

Marlene bit her lip and peered down at her toes. "Since summer break."

Lily's eyes widened. "Since summer – Marlene!"

"I wanted to tell you, I really did!" she said, wringing her hands. "But I couldn't, not to you, not to anyone. How do you think Marcus will react once he hears his best friend has been shagging his little sister?"

"Badly, since you two have been going behind his back for months," Lily quipped.

"But we had to keep it a secret!"

Lily shook her head and opened her mouth, when the comforting weight of Remus' hand settled on her tense shoulder.

She slanted him a quick glance, taking in his arched eyebrow and patient eyes.

"It's late," Remus said. "We should all head back to our dorms."

With a sigh, Lily let her hands drop from her hips and nodded, her gaze flicking between Benjy and Marlene.

"All right, let's go," she said curtly.

But Marlene didn't move. She studied Lily, her brown eyes guarded. "…Are you gonna tell Marcus?"

"No," Lily huffed, "I'll keep your little secret for now. But we're going to talk about this later – in detail. Now move your arse."

With a quick smile of relief and thumb up for Benjy, Marlene hastened after her friend.

* * *

><p>Friday evening loomed murky and dreary. Though they had been spared from thunder and hail, it had been raining since early afternoon and the wind was both cold and strong as it snapped at James' muddy Quidditch robes. Tired after an intense but satisfying practice, he trudged up toward the castle, his broomstick slung on his shoulders. He was looking forward to a good long soak in the Prefect's bathroom, hoping the warm water would ease his chilly bones and aching muscles. Reaching the doors, James shifted his broom and set his shoulder against the heavy oak. He pushed the door open and stepped into the castle.<p>

This time on a Friday evening, James would've expected to find the entrance hall empty and deserted, but that wasn't the case. A lone figure stood by the marble staircase, leaning against the railing. James wiped his fogged up glasses on the front of his robes and blinked as the blurry figure became Dana Watson.

"Hi there," she greeted him with a generous flash of dimples.

"Hullo, Watson. What're you up to, waiting for someone?"

"Funny you should ask," she said and gave him another smile. "I was waiting for you, actually."

James' hand jumped into his hair, flattened by the rain. "I thought we had already established I'm not giving out any Quidditch secrets. You're formidable enough opponents without me revealing our winning strategy."

"Eh, we wouldn't want an easy win anyway," Dana quipped.

"Now you're sounding like a Hufflepuff," James returned with a teasing grin.

Dana shook her head and giggled. "I guess I am."

"So, with Quidditch secrets off the table, is there anything else I could help you with?"

"Yes." There was an odd twinkle in her eye which sent James' mind racing – but before he could identify that curious look, Dana spoke again. "You could take me to Hogsmeade next week."

James blinked rapidly. His grip slackened, but somehow he managed to recover before he dropped his broomstick. "I, er – Pardon?"

"Hogsmeade weekend's next week. We should go together. Like a date," Dana clarified, her eyes laughing and cheeks dimpling.

The initial shock of her proposition was wearing off though the disbelief was still firmly present. Sure Watson was attractive, but he didn't really fancy her or anything – furthermore, he would've never even imagined _she_ would fancy him. But apparently, she did. James scratched his head and stared at her helplessly.

Then, he shrugged his shoulders. There was only one reply he could give to a fit, funny girl who also happened to be a stellar Seeker.

"Sure. That sounds great."


End file.
